liveblogging real housewives of nj premiere.

Sarah and Ben and I have been watching the reunion of The Real Housewives of New York, and one glass of wine in, I’ve decided I’m going to have to liveblog the premiere of The Real Housewives of New Jersey. I’ve watched most of the iterations of this show a couple of times while eating Thai takeout and sipping on some red wine, and I’ve never been that into it. But I think the NJ ladies will be different, and I’ve been eagerly awaiting the premiere of their show. So here goes:

10:58 — Jesus shit’s going down at the end of this NY reunion. Best observation of the night, courtesy of Miss Sarah: Alex looks like a baby horse alien.

11:00 p.m.– I’ve been on that turnpike!

11:00 p.m. — Thick as thieves. Is that a mafia reference?

11:00 p.m. — “Have you ever seen so much orange in one place?” -Miss Sarah

11:01 p.m. — America, meet Dina, Teresa, Caroline, Jacqueline, and Danielle.

11:01 p.m. — So these ones are actually friends? They’ve known each other for 13 years, interesting.

11:02 p.m. — Teresa’s husband Joe…jager bombs, jager bombs, fucking skanks.

11:04 p.m. — Teresa, I pay for everything in Benjamins too!!

11:06 p.m. — Hmmm Dina and Caroline are sisters. Interesting.

11:09 p.m. — Oh, these accents. My my my.

11:09 p.m. — This is not a very exciting liveblog, is it?

No, it’s not exciting, and 1.5 glasses of wine in I’m bored by this and I’m just going to be a quitter, OKAY? I’m a giant giant quitter and I’m okay with it. Liveblogging is better when Wonkette does it, I guess.

11:18 p.m. — BUT WAIT oh good lord can we talk about the crazy exercise one? Engaged 19 times? R U 4 REAL?

[Posted by Mallory]

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