Together now, people: aw HELL no!
[Posted by Mallory]
Monthly Archives: September 2009
peeking out from underneath grad school.
Let’s play Guess How Many Times Mallory Cried Today. Any guesses? It’s pretty low so far, but it’s not even 5:00 yet. First, I cried during a retirement party at work for a woman I don’t even know that well. But she gave such a kind and wonderful speech and so of course I cried. And of course I was sitting directly next to where she was standing, so I was in all of the pictures. And of course my co-worker looked at me at the end and said, “Are you crying?” And he obviously doesn’t know me well enough yet because the answer is always yes, yes I am crying. Then also, I watched the video on this post. I love M79 and I love mommy bloggers (whatever, it’s true) and I love adorable blonde-headed children, so there were tears here too. It’s okay. I’m sensitive. I embrace it.
Kathleen and I have been such bad bloggers lately, we know. But what do you do when you run out of time to blog as much as you want? Quit? Hell no! Endure the anger of your friends and constantly feel guilty? Well, I guess so. That’s what’s going on for now. We love us our little blog, and I guess that means that infrequent posting is better than no blog at all. I don’t want this to be permanent, but grad school is hard this year. I’m having one of those drowning-in-my-own-life moments. But hopefully it will pass, and then maybe you people can stop reading whatever other lame blogs you read when ours isn’t hoppin’, and all will be right in the world. In the meantime, thanks for bearing with us!
[Posted by Mallory]
today is a google holiday, hooray!
This morning, whilst perusing her Facebook news feed, my officemate counted no less than six references to the age-old irritating phrase, “a case of the Mondays,” made truly infamous by everyone’s favorite movie about how boring jobs are:
“A case of the Mondays” is right up there with “hump day,” but we’ve already made hump day better by instituting a less-than-regular Hump Day Cry Face, so it’s okay. The point is, no one needs to have a case of the Mondays today, because it’s not just a Monday: it’s a Google Holiday!
Today’s Google Holiday: What would have been H.G. Wells’ 143rd birthday. (I did that math myself. Without a calculator. Don’t say I never did anything for you.) H.G. Wells was a writer and an outspoken socialist, just like Barack Obama! Not gonna lie, I’ve read zero of Wells’ books, but Wikipedia did just teach me some interesting facts about him:
- H.G. stands for Herbert George, so the birthday boy was called “Bertie” as a child. How unfortunate.
- Bertie first married his cousin (ew!) but then left her for one of his students (double ew!). He had lots and lots of affairs in his life, just like Don Draper.
- Bertie was once sued for plagiarism, but the court found him not guilty.
- He had diabetes, and a cool moustache.
- Wells wanted his epitaph to say “I told you so. You damned fools.” I love that.
What I was Googling: cdr associates
Enjoy what’s left of your Monday, kids!
[Posted by Mallory]
flash mob for oprah’s 24th season.
My lovely little sister sent this video to me last night. The whole flash mob thing hasn’t gotten old, and I loved this one like I’ve loved the rest of them:
It should come as no surprise to you that this video made me cry. Maybe it’s because everything makes me cry, or because I’m going to Chicago in two weeks (!!!!). Probably just because everything makes me cry. Happy Sunday, folks!
[Posted by Mallory]
Filed under celebrities, dance, music, YouTube
today is a google holiday, hooray!
Today’s Google Holiday: Um, crop circles? National Geographic has no explanation for this, so neither do I. Ohmygod guys it’s a mystery, JUST LIKE REAL CROP CIRCLES.
What I was Googling: Technically, nothing. I was busy all day and of course was Googling things because how else do people find things, and the Google Holiday was TAUNTING me, but I had no time to post. Here I am, though! Here to tell you that I have no idea what this Holiday means. Google why you gotta be so mysterious?
INSTANT UPDATE: Christian Science Monitor has more ideas. Maybe this is a teaser for something Google is launching soon? Maybe it’s related to that new Dan Brown book? I bet Patrick Swayze could have explained it to us.
[Posted by Mallory]
patrick swayze has died at 57.
WAHHH Patrick Swayze died!
Patrick Swayze, of Dirty Dancing and Ghost fame, is dead at 57 after a battle with pancreatic cancer:
“Patrick Swayze passed away peacefully today with family at his side after facing the challenges of his illness for the last 20 months,” said a statement released Monday evening by his publicist, Annett Wolf. No other details were given.
Accounts show that Swayze was optimistic and maintained as normal of a life as possible while he was sick, though he recognized what he was up against:
Swayze said he opted not to use painkilling drugs while making “The Beast” because they would have taken the edge off his performance. He acknowledged that time might be running out given the grim nature of the disease.
When he first went public with the illness, some reports gave him only weeks to live, but his doctor said his situation was “considerably more optimistic” than that.
“I’d say five years is pretty wishful thinking,” Swayze told ABC’s Barbara Walters in early 2009. “Two years seems likely if you’re going to believe statistics. I want to last until they find a cure, which means I’d better get a fire under it.”
You’ll be missed, Mr. Swayze. Thanks for everything, but especially for this:
I don’t know about you guys, but I plan to honor Patrick Swayze’s life by having “Time of My Life” stuck in my head for the next month or so. 2:28 and on…ICONIC. What a scene.
[Posted by Mallory]
Filed under celebrities, dance, movies, music, news, pop culture, RIP, YouTube
twitter (not facebook?) makes you dumber.
Step away from your TwitterBerry, folks: Twitter is making you dumber! The surprising flipside of this news is that Facebook allegedly makes you smarter, at least according to one Australian psychologist:
Staying on top of Facebook is like solving puzzles, since it hones our ability to remember and use information. But more “micro-level” activities like Twitter, watching YouTube videos, and text messaging weaken these same skills by shortening our attention spans. Says Dr. Alloway from the University of Stirling, “On Twitter you receive an endless stream of information, but it’s also very succinct. You don’t have to process that information. Your attention span is being reduced and you’re not engaging your brain and improving nerve connections.”
Dr. Alloway? I can’t argue with your comments about Twitter, but I must respectfully disagree that Facebook somehow makes people smarter. I can’t say I see how Facebook is like solving a puzzle. What information do we need to remember and use to stay on top of Facebook? Last I checked, as long as you can remember the name of your ex-boyfriend’s new girlfriend and can read at a third-grade level, you can master le Facebook. You literally just scroll through things and read them, and there are plenty of reminders if you happen to forget about a recent poke or a fake gift you received. I use Facebook less than an hour a week precisely because it makes me feel dumb. And creepy. Plus, with the amount of class and potential study time that people spend on Mark Zuckerberg’s evil invention, everyone’s probably learning a heck of a lot less, and thus, getting dumber. If you’ve ever brought a laptop to class, you know what I mean: it’s literally impossible to pay attention with Facebook and Gmail and Cake Wrecks at your fingertips. Theory Schmeory, someone made a cake of a C-section!
I know that in theory people can use Facebook to post articles and spark insightful discussions about them, but come on, WHO DOES THAT? (Okay, I know one person, but he’s a professor, so that doesn’t count.) Point is, I’m right, and that psychologist is wrong.
[Posted by Mallory]
Filed under blogging, news, pop culture
introducing letters from a month later!
Hey folks! Some of my wonderful and witty friends have put together a blog called “Letters from a Month Later.” The mission?:
This blog aims to promote the long lost art of tact and self control. With the advent of instantaneous communication such as the internet, people have been word vomiting all over each other for the past 10 or so years.
Back in the horse and buggy days you had to have the money for paper and pen, and the time for serious reflection. You also needed money for stamps. This restricted our ability to simply barf our incoherent emotional goolash over whomever we feel may have wronged us, or just not loved us enough…
We plan not only to show the good, but also the bad, and the impolite. Create a sort of do’s and don’ts of interweb communication. Just because it’s there, doesn’t mean you should spew all over it. Respect the email like you respect the letter and there will be joy in the world once more.
Basically, it’s a blog chock-full of love or hate or whiney or creepy letters from those exes that just can’t seem to keep their mouths shut or their fingers from typing. I encourage you to stalk the blog like the writers of these letters stalked their exes, submit your own letters, and generally enjoy the voyuerism of reading other people’s Letters from a Month Later. The website is here, at http://lfaml.wordpress.com. Enjoy!
[Posted by Mallory]
kanye west is short and mean.
I have a proposal. Let’s find an island, and we can put the following people on it and leave them there until the end of time: Heidi, Spencer, and Stephanie Pratt, Nicholas Cage, Ann Coulter, and Kanye West.
I doubt I’m breaking this news to anyone, but last night at MTV’s VMAs, Kanye West proved once and for all that he is a raging douchebag. My roommate and I watched the beginning of the VMAs last night, and I was feeling good about them. I actually felt some sympathy for Michael Jackson and enjoyed the tribute to him (slightly making up for my previous apathy), and Taylor Swift managed to win the award for Best Female Video, even though the rooms and I were sure it would be Lady Gaga or Beyonce. T. Swift was adorable and gracious accepting her award, and then Kanye West ruined it by coming onstage, taking the microphone out of her hands, and saying “Taylor, I’m really happy for you, and I’m gonna let you finish, but Beyoncé had one of the best videos of all time.”
And it was awkward. Rull rull awkward. T. Swift just stood there, Beyonce looked mortified, and MTV awkwardly cut to one of the awkward skits with Eminem and Tracy Morgan. AWKWARD AWKWARD AWKWARD.
It’s no secret that I love me some Taylor Swift, but no matter what you think of her, you’ve got to admit: that was pretty lame of Kanye. MTV allegedly asked him to leave, and he was booed anytime his name was mentioned later in the night. The bootylicious Beyonce saved the day, though, when she won the Video of the Year award and invited T. Swift back onstage to have her moment. As Fox News (look! I sometimes read things besides the NYT) puts it:
Beyonce’s hit “Single Ladies” eventually got all it deserved by taking on the big one – Video of the Year. The ever-classy Knowles dedicated her time to Swift and had the emotional teen idol return to the stage for the opportunity to give her acceptance without any interruption.
Moral of the story: everybody hates Kanye West and everyone loves Beyonce and Taylor Swift even more than they did before.
UPDATE: Okay, I have a few more thoughts after reading this Daily Beast article in which Choire Sicha tries to defend Kanye. (He also tries to make the Kanye/Taylor incident a race issue, which seems to me to be a blatant attempt to create some controversy. This was so not a race thing.) But Sicha’s article did make me think (I can’t type a sentence like that without feeling like Carrie Bradshaw, ha). I started to think that we as a pop-culture-loving society are being a leetle ridiculous getting so riled up about this. And maybe that’s true to some extent. Maybe the magnitude of the world’s reaction to Kanye’s rudeness is somewhat over-the-top, but I think the overall sentiment is valid. Taylor Swift is a rare star who seems genuine, hardworking, focused on her fans, and generally wholesome and kind. You have to admit that she’s made herself wildly successful and is a talented and savvy businesswoman, even if you don’t agree that she’s a talented artist. And so it’s impressive when MTV fans — who traditionally support some pretty superficial stuff — voted for a heartfelt 19-year-old country singer who doesn’t drink. It was an exciting break from tradition, and based on the reactions on the Interwebs, most people were genuinely happy for Ms. Swift. In the end, this was about a person who got something they deserved and was embarrassed by a drunken asshole. Kanye was rude, plain and simple, and I’m glad people reacted the way they did. Yes, there are bigger problems in the world, and yes, T. Swift is a big girl and a multimillionaire and will be fine, but it’s nice to see pop culture consumers of the world emphatically come down on the side of the nice girl.
In other unsurprising VMA news, everyone is obsessed with Twlight, Beyonce’s performance was out-of-control amazing, Lil Mama had a surprise of her own for Beyonce’s boo, and Lady Gaga is still a wackjob:
Looks like MTV might be back in the game.
[Posted by Mallory]
Filed under celebrities, music, news, pop culture, TV
today is a google holiday, hooray!
Guys, this is the BEST Google Holiday ever! It’s 09/09/09! My coworkers and I celebrated this morning at 9:09 a.m. by watching a preview for the movie 9 and learning facts about the number 9. There are no exciting facts about the number 9. But it is very important for sudoku!
Here, you should celebrate too, by watching the 9 preview:
Is it weird that I cried at the end of that?
Today’s Google Holiday: 09/09/09
What I was Googling: carana
And sorry for the embarrassing lack of posting lately. School started up again, etc. etc. and I am a bad blogger. I’ll do my best to remedy that this week!
P.S. You’re all still invited to my gala on 11/11/11 at 11:11:11 p.m.
P.P.S. Okay, I missed a Google Holiday this weekend. It was confusing and had something to do with unexplained phenomenon.
[Posted by Mallory]
six words to change the world. 