Category Archives: celebrities

and the best beard goes to…

The Oscars were on last night. Blah blah, Colin Firth is my soulmate, James Franco was probably stoned, Melissa Leo said “fuck,” etc. Can we talk about the two epic beards of the night? I obviously couldn’t pick just one.

First, I have to give some love and recognition to my boyfriend, Jeff Bridges:

I understand that his beard is not exactly new (which I just spelled “knew” on the first try…embarrassing), but I still love it lots. Also, I wish he could narrate my life.

And then holy Christian Bale beard! Some darkness on the top, a whole lot of ginger on the face…and while I know that many of you (Kelsey) will disagree, I think he kind of rocks it:

I’d also like to take this opportunity to mention that not a single person I was watching with knew that Christian Bale was Welsh. We thought he was faking his accent when he first started talking. And then he cried about his wife. SWOON.

Kathleen and I have a lot to tell you (hint: we are NOT pregnant…yet), but for now, I have to go eat some microwaveable Indian food.

In the meantime, here’s a throwback link that I found while searching the ol’ bloggy for my Jeff Bridges references. Really, Mal, with the Jamiroquai dream?

[Posted by Mallory]

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youtube clip of today: bad pictures.

Words cannot express how much I love this video (WHICH WILL NOT EMBED, little punk). And the second lady is totally smoking some Canadian crack, no?

I have some photos that could give these a run for their money. If you’re lucky, you’ll get to see them one day…

[Posted by Mallory]

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youtube clip of today: kayne’s tweets.

I’ve always liked that one song Josh Groban sings that makes me cry, but I never thought much about the guy until I saw this video. Now I’m completely and totally in love with him. Watch out, Katherine Heigl! [Ed Note: Oops, that’s Josh Kelley. So, er, just watch out, Josh Groban!]

[Posted by Mallory]

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an unexpectedly delightful taylor swift cover.

By Butch Walker. That’s right. Perhaps it’s a little (a lot?) tongue-in-cheek, but I love it:

You also should read this. It’s an article about why Taylor Swift sucks. Even though I don’t hate Taylor Swift, I find these kinds of articles interesting. Maybe it’s because deep down, I totally agree with them, but I still have “The Story of Us” on repeat as I type. Hard to say.

Also, I just saw a really cool presentation (with Kathleen!) by Neko Case. It was basically her explaining a slideshow of photos she’d taken, and it was really interesting and inspirational. While she knows a lot about photography, most of the photos she takes (and the ones she showed us) were taken on an iPhone or a simple point-and-shoot. That made me decide I should take more pictures, which obviously led to a photo shoot in my room of all of the things I could photograph on my fancy Droid without moving. This, unsurprisingly, resulted in a series of shots of my room, and a MySpace-worthy self portrait. Like, look…ART:

Don’t worry. I’m kidding. This will not turn into a photography blog. And the whole reason I started that pointless story was to tell you that my eyes are still kind of blind-y from taking my self portrait.

The end.

[Posted by Mallory]

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a hump day cry face remix?

So, this happened (at the Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear, obviously):

…followed by this:

This, of course, has nothing to do with Cry Face, except in that it proves that I aim to never look attractive in public. (Speaking of which…read this blog.)

[Posted by Mallory]

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neko case cover tom waits, beautifully.

This is gorgeous:

I might like it better than the original, though both have been on repeat all morning. Big thanks to lebluegrass for the tip.

[Posted by Mallory]

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barbara bush’s guide to artful insults.

While filming a segment for Larry King, Barbara Bush delivered quite the artful insult to Sarah Palin (yes, this was reported a few days ago, but I JUST got my new Macbook power cord!). It’s the kind of thing you shiver from when reading, because it’s just so icy cold. I’m not condoning this behavior, but should you ever find yourself needing to tear someone down without calling them names, here is Barbara Bush’s guide to delivering a slap that really stings:

1. Show that you personally know your subject, giving whatever you are about to say some sort of validation.  (“I sat next to her once “)

2. Pay a flattering compliment, but one that doesn’t insinuate any real intelligence or skill.  (“She was beautiful”)

3. Remark upon something fairly insignificant, reminiscent of small talk.  (“I think she’s very happy in Alaska”)

4. Insert verbal dagger. Twist. And laugh lightly or smile, to make it appear more pleasant. (“And I hope she stays there”)

In the world of political mean girls (Carly Fiorina, Meg Whitman, Sharron Angle, etc.), Barbara Bush just pulled a Regina George.

Perhaps the former FLOTUS got underneath Palin’s skin, but you know Sarah Barracuda. She doesn’t retreat, she reloads. It was reported today that she sent a team to Iowa to search for a 2012 campaign office. So about that whole staying in Alaska thing… probably not going to happen.

But did Barbara Bush win this round? You betcha.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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jersey shore’s angelina debuts a “song.”

I imagine that if a six year old with a dirty mouth wrote some lyrics for me, and I attempted to rap them, this is what it would sound like.

[Posted by Mallory]

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six words has a guest post!

Hey all! How about a Sunday evening guest post? Inspired by the category of people/things not to be trusted on our About Us page, they developed the following list of the most notable celebrities who are NOT to be trusted.

Celebrities Who Are Not To Be Trusted

There are certain celebrities who, quite frankly, leave me feeling a little uneasy. It may be that prolonged exposure to the limelight has had a deleterious effect on their sanity, or perhaps they’re just naturally odd. Whatever the reason for their bizarre behavior, one thing is certain: I woudn’t want to be put in a room with any of these seven nutjobs.

Joaquin Phoenix

Phoenix had a promising start as a young actor in films such as Parenthood and Gladiator, but ever since his bizarre appearance on the David Letterman show, sporting a hobo-esque beard and generally acting like a sociopath for most of the interview, Phoenix appears to have lost his grip on reality. His pseudo-documentary I’m Still Here solidified his status as certified creeper. The whole “am I going crazy or am I just pretending to go crazy” shtick didn’t fool anybody, and the movie was a deserved failure.

Katherine Heigl

Like many others, I was very impressed by Heigl’s performance in Knocked Up, and entertained hopes that she would pick up where Scarlett Johansson had left off in the sophisticated-and-beautiful-actress category. Unfortunately, it appears she is a complete diva on set and intolerable to work with. Beyond this, her habits of slandering and insulting the people who helped her get her career off the ground have made her quite a few enemies in Hollywood, and for good reason.

Tom Cruise

Little needs to be said about why Cruise made the list. His antics of the past decade include the infamous couch-jumping episode, his advocacy of Scientology, and above all, TomKat. The minute I heard that Katie wouldn’t be allowed to make a single unpleasant noise while in labor with her first child because of the Scientologist belief that it would cause psychological damage to the newborn, I knew my worst suspicions about Cruise were true.

John Mayer

It’s easy to be seduced by the sultry strains emanating from Mayer’s guitar, but it seems like every month there’s a new revelation about what a seedy character he is. Recent highlights include his interview with Playboy in which he famously uttered the n-word, claiming it was all right because he had a “hood pass”; in other words, that the white, affluent Mayer somehow had gangsta cred. To say about 50% of what comes from his mouth is offensive would be a conservative estimate.

Mel Gibson

Exceeding even John Mayer’s offensive capabilities is none other than Mel Gibson, whose controverisal film The Passion marked a turning point in his career from action movie hero to ultra-conservative anti-Semitic wacko. As if his depiction of Jews in The Passion wasn’t offensive enough, the recording of his anti-Semitic tirade while being arrested for drunk driving was the nail in the coffin.

Angelina Jolie

Angelina is the only member of this list I actually still have respect for, but that doesn’t mean I would trust her with my kids (if I had kids). Her romantic history includes a fling with Billy Bob Thorton that achieved record levels of creepiness, which were then completely destroyed by her confession of being romantically involved with her brother. That’s right, her brother.

Sarah Palin

I debated whether it would be right to add Sarah Palin to this list, but although ostensibly a “politician,” she’s really as much of a celebrity as everyone else on this list. I’m pretty sure I don’t need to go into the details of the hundreds of groan-inducing moments on the campaign trail running as vice presidential nominee in 2010. What’s remarkable is that she continues to hog the limelight two years after America decided they couldn’t bear the thought of her being a heartbeat away from the presidency.

K. Wallulis is a writer.

[Posted by Mallory]

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can’t turn back now, i’m haunted.

While I can’t support T.Swizzle’s song from the 2010 VMA’s for reasons explained here, I can’t help but love her new album. No, it’s nothing new, but I love it for the reasons I love all of her stuff: It’s fluffy and great to sing along to and lets me indulge my inner 11-year-old girl.

But is it just me, or does “Haunted” sound a lot like Avril Lavigne?:

RIGHT? RIGHT?

In other news, I totally suck at trivia…I mean, I didn’t get a freaking MIGHTY DUCKS question tonight. But our team name was John Boehner’s Spray Tan, so that was fun. The fact that Boehner will likely be the next Speaker of the House? Less fun. The fact that Christine O’Donnell managed to get 40% of Delaware voters to vote for her? Downright mind-boggling. But that’s why God invented Taylor Swift. Back to listening to cheesy music and not thinking about real things!

[Posted by Mallory]

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