Tag Archives: tom cruise

six words has a guest post!

Hey all! How about a Sunday evening guest post? Inspired by the category of people/things not to be trusted on our About Us page, they developed the following list of the most notable celebrities who are NOT to be trusted.

Celebrities Who Are Not To Be Trusted

There are certain celebrities who, quite frankly, leave me feeling a little uneasy. It may be that prolonged exposure to the limelight has had a deleterious effect on their sanity, or perhaps they’re just naturally odd. Whatever the reason for their bizarre behavior, one thing is certain: I woudn’t want to be put in a room with any of these seven nutjobs.

Joaquin Phoenix

Phoenix had a promising start as a young actor in films such as Parenthood and Gladiator, but ever since his bizarre appearance on the David Letterman show, sporting a hobo-esque beard and generally acting like a sociopath for most of the interview, Phoenix appears to have lost his grip on reality. His pseudo-documentary I’m Still Here solidified his status as certified creeper. The whole “am I going crazy or am I just pretending to go crazy” shtick didn’t fool anybody, and the movie was a deserved failure.

Katherine Heigl

Like many others, I was very impressed by Heigl’s performance in Knocked Up, and entertained hopes that she would pick up where Scarlett Johansson had left off in the sophisticated-and-beautiful-actress category. Unfortunately, it appears she is a complete diva on set and intolerable to work with. Beyond this, her habits of slandering and insulting the people who helped her get her career off the ground have made her quite a few enemies in Hollywood, and for good reason.

Tom Cruise

Little needs to be said about why Cruise made the list. His antics of the past decade include the infamous couch-jumping episode, his advocacy of Scientology, and above all, TomKat. The minute I heard that Katie wouldn’t be allowed to make a single unpleasant noise while in labor with her first child because of the Scientologist belief that it would cause psychological damage to the newborn, I knew my worst suspicions about Cruise were true.

John Mayer

It’s easy to be seduced by the sultry strains emanating from Mayer’s guitar, but it seems like every month there’s a new revelation about what a seedy character he is. Recent highlights include his interview with Playboy in which he famously uttered the n-word, claiming it was all right because he had a “hood pass”; in other words, that the white, affluent Mayer somehow had gangsta cred. To say about 50% of what comes from his mouth is offensive would be a conservative estimate.

Mel Gibson

Exceeding even John Mayer’s offensive capabilities is none other than Mel Gibson, whose controverisal film The Passion marked a turning point in his career from action movie hero to ultra-conservative anti-Semitic wacko. As if his depiction of Jews in The Passion wasn’t offensive enough, the recording of his anti-Semitic tirade while being arrested for drunk driving was the nail in the coffin.

Angelina Jolie

Angelina is the only member of this list I actually still have respect for, but that doesn’t mean I would trust her with my kids (if I had kids). Her romantic history includes a fling with Billy Bob Thorton that achieved record levels of creepiness, which were then completely destroyed by her confession of being romantically involved with her brother. That’s right, her brother.

Sarah Palin

I debated whether it would be right to add Sarah Palin to this list, but although ostensibly a “politician,” she’s really as much of a celebrity as everyone else on this list. I’m pretty sure I don’t need to go into the details of the hundreds of groan-inducing moments on the campaign trail running as vice presidential nominee in 2010. What’s remarkable is that she continues to hog the limelight two years after America decided they couldn’t bear the thought of her being a heartbeat away from the presidency.

K. Wallulis is a writer.

[Posted by Mallory]

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prince harry, harry, he’s quite contrary.

prince_harry

If this was American politics, we’d call it Pakigate.  But it isn’t. It’s British, so I don’t know what to call it other than completely and utterly stupid on the part of Prince Harry.  You know Prince Harry? Yes, as in the now-hotter-than-Prince William-prince.

(True story: When William was at his peak attractiveness–age 16– and I was at my peak boycrazyness–age 13– I had his poster on my wall.  Did I ever have a shot with him?  No.  In fact, there’s a long list of laws that tell you why I cannot.  Being American and Catholic are just the tip of the iceberg.  But I still had hope.  Don’t judge me, fools.  And on second thought, you should never marry someone who had your poster on their wall.  That’s just weird.  Tom and Katie, I’m talking to you.)

Anyway, Harry made an oopsie.  In a video, he called one of his platoon buddies his “little Paki friend”, which of course is not cool, and then he tells another he looks like a “raghead”.  Now, before he gets the title His Royal Highness Prince Harry the Racist and you get your royal britches in a twist, I want to not defend him while defending him…if that makes sense.  Our own American troops use language like that.  It’s not uncommon.  But it’s terrible.  Also, while you think good ‘ole ‘Arry might have his wits about him because HE IS THE PRINCE OF WALES, he’s done some dumb things in the past.  Like that time he wore a Nazi uniform to a Halloween party.  Or how he blatantly smokes pot at parties.  Maybe he isn’t royally brilliant, but that doesn’t make him a  racist.

But watch the video for yourself.  Do you think he’s just a dude, who happens to be a prince,  trying to fit in with his platoon?  Because that’s what it seems like to me.  Also, at the end you’ll feel like you know him a little better than anticipated after one of his buddies asks him a question, and he obliges with the answer.

Here is Harry’s apology:

“Prince Harry fully understands how offensive this term can be, and is extremely sorry for any offense his words might cause,” spokesman Patrick Harrison said in a statement.

“However, on this occasion three years ago, Prince Harry used the term without any malice and as a nickname about a highly popular member of his platoon. There is no question that Prince Harry was in any way seeking to insult his friend.”

No mention of the ginger pubes.

But we learn another fact.  Harry made this video three years ago.  Does that change things?

UPDATED:  The father of the cadet Harry made the remark about is furious and says his apology isn’t enough.  Also, Harry is in even more trouble with one of his own charities.  Click HERE.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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here come the men in black.

So according to a former Apollo 14 (not 13) astronaut, aliens exist–they not only exist, they’ve visited us multiple times over the years, but our big, bad government has covered it up (a government conspiracy theory? Gasp! How revolutionary!). But not to fear, friends, because Dr. Edgar Mitchell assures us that if they were hostile and wanted us to be dead by now, we would be. Phew! The good doctor told all of this told all of this to Kerrang! radio. You can listen to the radio show here, or just read these quotes.

“I happen to have been privileged enough to be in on the fact that we’ve been visited on this planet and the UFO phenomena is real.”

“It’s been well covered up by all our governments for the last 60 years or so, but slowly it’s leaked out and some of us have been privileged to have been briefed on some of it.”

“I’ve been in military and intelligence circles, who know that beneath the surface of what has been public knowledge, yes – we have been visited. Reading the papers recently, it’s been happening quite a bit.”

Wow, he sounds–to use his word AGAIN, privileged. Here’s some more good news. Aliens look EXACTLY like we expected them to! Big eyes, big heads, and small bodies. And who doesn’t like being right?

Now, I know it isn’t my place to judge or say what is real and what is not (but this blog is 50% mine and I’m going to do what I want, duh). And despite the fact that Dr. Mitchell did a moonwalk and is very smart, I think he’s being a tad bit moony about this. I mean, come on. Aliens? Really? But then again, if you’ve ever been to a Waffle House between the hours of 11 p.m. and 5 a.m., it is convincing. There are some strange looking folks there…

Anyway, I did some thinking and made a list of aliens I wouldn’t mind running into and those I would. Here are some that I would feel fairly okay about:

Here are those that would most likely upset me:

And finally, the scariest of all:

Ugh. And just because I’m feeling frisky, here is a music video featuring a really talented alien:

Let me see you just bounce with me, just bounce with me, just bounce with me. Come on just slide with me, now slide with me…

[Posted by Kathleen]

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tales from my morning news stalk.

Good mornnnnnnnnnnning! I have completed my morning news/gossip stalk, and because blogging about each of these would take all day I’m putting it all together in one glorious post. Don’t you judge me.

So now we find out that Jesse Jackson not only threatened the testicles of Saint Barack, he used the N-word too. Ohhh, no you did not! Here is what he said: “See, Barack been, um, talking down to black people on this faith-based – I wanna cut his nuts out. … Barack – he’s talking down to black people — telling n——s how to behave.” Bill O’Reilly, who broke the original story said they didn’t use this part because it was unnecessary. He called the person who leaked this (they don’t know who it is…yet) a “weasel” (that’s the pot calling the kettle black, Billy!) and then put the fear of God in us all but especially the poor sniveling soul that will eventually be homeless and miserable– “I have the waterboard over here. … We’ll find out.” As some of my friends say, “things that are unsurprising.”  You can read what I had to say before we learned Jesse dropped the N-bomb here.

But speaking of Barack, he pulled in a mere $52 Million for this quarter. No big deal. The Wonkette headline made me giggle: Hope Rides In On A $52 Million Unicorn. I assume the unicorn reference came from JibJab’s new video, which you can watch if you click here. Thoughts? Not as good as the Bush/Kerry one from 2004. But whatev.

One woman went for 20 years not knowing she had two monstrous tumors. When I say monstrous, I mean it. The tumors were just removed and she is now 140 lbs. lighter. ONE HUNDRED AND FORTY POUNDS. Damn, girl. Maybe there are two tumors where my love handles are? I should get that checked out.

Tonight should be amazing for political dorks who love great American pastimes in DC. It is the yearly Congressional baseball game, where all the politicians look to appear cool and revert back to their high school days. That’s right, the Republican congressmen and the Democratic congressmen, in a rivalry almost as intense as the Red Sox and Yankees, play each other. This is usually humiliating for the Dems, as the Republicans win every year. BUT DEMOCRATS ARE GOOD AT SPORTS TOO, OKAY?!

In TeeVee news, Scrubs is coming back for another season! Hoooray! Katherine Heigl managed to keep her miserable character on Grey’s for another season.

And for movies, The Dark Knight opens soon. Read anything on it, and they tell you that Heath was amazing. HEEEEEEEEEATH. WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY. I can’t wait. Also, Mal posted about ScarJo’s singing, so I felt this is a little relevant: Defamer made a list of the Top Ten Unlikely Vocal Performances from Non-Singing Actors. Ugh, I HATE Tom Cruise. He deserves to be on no list other than Top Creepiest Person of All Time.

Happy news stalking!

[Posted by Kathleen]

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jada and will? stay together forever.

Dear Jada and Will,

Ever since Nelson Mandela’s birthday party where you both looked consistently smashing and seemed really cute and fun and respectful, I’ve been thinking a lot about how much I like you two. Maybe it’s because Jada’s really short, and Will’s pretty tall, and I’ve always thought that made for a cute — if somewhat hard to imagine, er, logistically — couple. Also, Will, Big Willie Style has brought me joy for many, many years, and I will never think of Miami without thinking of you. Plus, The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air  was pretty great. I’ll probably never see Hancock, but in your defense, I’ve heard it’s not as bad as it looks.

Jada, I maaaybe used to think you were Halle Barry, but you’re great too. Reign Over Me wins the award for making me cry longer and harder than any other movie I’ve ever seen, and that’s no easy feat. I also love how cute and tiny you are. As my idols over at GFY pointed out, you looked so adorable with your hubby at the Hancock premiere:

Even though Wikipedia tells me that Will was married before you came along, Jada, I’d like to imagine that you two crazy kids have been together forever. Either way, you’ve got a little over a decade under your marital belt, and I dig that. Plus, your kids are so adorable it should be illegal:

Cute

There is one little thing, though, guys. You apparently funded a Scientology school and are being kind of secretive about it. Now I’m all for education, but Scientology creeps me out. The Fox News article linked above tells me that this school, New Village Academy, “plans to use some teaching methods developed within the Church of Scientology and has hired a team of Scientologists to put them into action.” But there’s no mention on the school’s website that it has any affiliation with the Church of Scientology. That’s not cool.

I’m surprised, because Will, you’ve never publicly said you’re a Scientologist, and you’ve said some pretty intelligent things about religion:

In December, interviewed on “Access Hollywood,” Smith said of his Scientology connection: “I was introduced [to] it by Tom [Cruise], and I’m a student of world religion. I was raised in a Baptist household, I went to a Catholic school, but the ideas of the Bible are 98 percent the same ideas of Scientology, 98 percent the same ideas of Hinduism and Buddhism.”

I’m all for that attitude, but I’m bummed that you’re not being forthright about New Village Academy’s religious affiliation. Maybe you could work on being a little more honest there. Because other than this little slip up, you and Jada seem perfect. Anytime you need a babysitter, you know where to find me.

Cheers,
Mallory

[Posted by Mallory]

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