Good mornnnnnnnnnnning! I have completed my morning news/gossip stalk, and because blogging about each of these would take all day I’m putting it all together in one glorious post. Don’t you judge me.
So now we find out that Jesse Jackson not only threatened the testicles of Saint Barack, he used the N-word too. Ohhh, no you did not! Here is what he said: “See, Barack been, um, talking down to black people on this faith-based – I wanna cut his nuts out. … Barack – he’s talking down to black people — telling n——s how to behave.” Bill O’Reilly, who broke the original story said they didn’t use this part because it was unnecessary. He called the person who leaked this (they don’t know who it is…yet) a “weasel” (that’s the pot calling the kettle black, Billy!) and then put the fear of God in us all but especially the poor sniveling soul that will eventually be homeless and miserable– “I have the waterboard over here. … We’ll find out.” As some of my friends say, “things that are unsurprising.” You can read what I had to say before we learned Jesse dropped the N-bomb here.
But speaking of Barack, he pulled in a mere $52 Million for this quarter. No big deal. The Wonkette headline made me giggle: Hope Rides In On A $52 Million Unicorn. I assume the unicorn reference came from JibJab’s new video, which you can watch if you click here. Thoughts? Not as good as the Bush/Kerry one from 2004. But whatev.
One woman went for 20 years not knowing she had two monstrous tumors. When I say monstrous, I mean it. The tumors were just removed and she is now 140 lbs. lighter. ONE HUNDRED AND FORTY POUNDS. Damn, girl. Maybe there are two tumors where my love handles are? I should get that checked out.
Tonight should be amazing for political dorks who love great American pastimes in DC. It is the yearly Congressional baseball game, where all the politicians look to appear cool and revert back to their high school days. That’s right, the Republican congressmen and the Democratic congressmen, in a rivalry almost as intense as the Red Sox and Yankees, play each other. This is usually humiliating for the Dems, as the Republicans win every year. BUT DEMOCRATS ARE GOOD AT SPORTS TOO, OKAY?!
In TeeVee news, Scrubs is coming back for another season! Hoooray! Katherine Heigl managed to keep her miserable character on Grey’s for another season.
And for movies, The Dark Knight opens soon. Read anything on it, and they tell you that Heath was amazing. HEEEEEEEEEATH. WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY. I can’t wait. Also, Mal posted about ScarJo’s singing, so I felt this is a little relevant: Defamer made a list of the Top Ten Unlikely Vocal Performances from Non-Singing Actors. Ugh, I HATE Tom Cruise. He deserves to be on no list other than Top Creepiest Person of All Time.
Happy news stalking!
[Posted by Kathleen]
six words to change the world. 
jesse jackson: that’s not cool, dude.
So as some of you might have heard, Jesse Jackson messed up. On Fox News, of all places! He said something not so nice about my boy, Barack Obama. And like my mommy (and everyone else’s) says, if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all–especially when you there is a microphone attached to your body. He was getting ready to address B’s speeches to black people and said “I wanna cut his nuts out.” Ouch? Bad move, Jesse! I’m feeling very protective of my presumptive Democratic nominee (and his you know whats), and I might hold a grudge.
But who would say “I want to cut his nuts out”? Wouldn’t the phrase be “I want to cut his nuts OFF”? The good reverend is getting a little too graphic for my taste and mixing up his idioms. Plus, they only do stuff like that in Louisiana, under Gov. Bobby Jindal. Jindal signed a bill allowing chemical castration for sex offenders…but that’s a different story. And he’s on the short list for McCain’s veep spot. Ahem.
Anyway, of course Jackson apologized with some BS statement, and of course, Saint Barack was gracious and accepted the apology. What troubles me the most about this is the lack of unity that’s going on. Rev. Jesse Jackson and Sen. Barack Obama might not be on the same page about everything, but they are on most things. It’s like women who say they won’t vote for Barack because Hillary lost. So what, you’re going to vote for McCain now? The McCain that voted against ensuring equal pay rights to women? The McCain that voted against funding for victims of domestic violence? The McCain that is wrong about women’s health issues. And finally, the McCain that called his wife a cunt? Haha, I LOVE to bring that one up. Small differences (like in the case of jilted Hillary voters, a chromosome) aren’t enough of a reason to give up on the overall vision.
Right now, and I’m sad that Jesse Jackson can’t see this, the election is not about black and white. Not to sound corny, but it’s about all of America. Rev. Al Sharpton agrees with me. Barack “is running for president of all Americans, not just African-Americans,” he said. We “must be careful not to segregate Senator Obama and impose some litmus test that is unfair and unproductive.” Well put, sir.
I don’t think that B would ever talk down to black people, and I don’t think that he’s trying to “talk white” (as Ralph Nader accused him of. Shut up, Ralphie, you silly boy). It’s just not in his nature. He walks on water and saves the free world in his free time! Come on, people!
So I’m sorry Rev. Jackson! Oooh! Barack is FOR REAL. (My apologies, that was wretched but I couldn’t help it.)
Here is the video, I know you wanted to see it.
[Posted by Kathleen]
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