Tag Archives: news

drug bust from her stuffed bust.

This has nothing to do with the post, I just thought it was hilarious.  And it's Friday.

This has nothing to do with the post, I just thought it was hilarious. And it's Friday.

Ahh, stuffing your bra.  It’s a rite of passage.  Most people use toilet paper (or something similar… not that I’d know) but a unnamed 37-year-old Georgia woman had a different plan.  She stuffed her bra with a pound of meth… worth about $13,000.

Okay, so maybe her intentions weren’t to make herself look bustier.  Perhaps her intentions were to hide the drugs after getting pulled over for a traffic violation.  I don’t know. (Lie. I do, in fact, know.)  Just speculating.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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this guy is no john dillinger.

MarkEarlWhite.jpgMark E. White was only trying to make his getaway after robbing the bank in Saginaw, Michigan.

According to the news story, Marky Mark had just gotten out of the slammer three weeks earlier when he decided to rob the Citizens Bank.  He was successful, and two blocks later tried to hitch a ride.  He flagged down a car… which happened to be an unmarked police car.  Needless to say, he was caught.

Now Mr. White, I am not a criminal — nor do I have any plans to ever become one– but I’m pretty sure that if I was, I’d make sure I arranged my transportation ahead of time.  Maybe that’s just me.

Ah, stories about dumb criminals.  It makes you feel just a little bit better about your Monday morning, no?

[Posted by Kathleen]

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tyler frost gets suspended for dancing.

tylerfrostOf all the ridiculous things I’ve read today, this trumps them all.

Poor Tyler Frost.  All the senior in high school wanted to do was escort his lady love to her sinful, pagan public school prom and maybe move in sync to the musical stylings of Taylor Swift, and whatever Godless slow-jam-last-dance song those high school kids are listening to these days.  And his school suspended him.

That’s because Tyler’s school, Heritage Christian School in Ohio, forbids dancing, rock music, and fun.  IT’S JUST LIKE THE MOVIE FOOTLOOSE!  It doesn’t specifically say fun, but whatev.  Might as well.  But you know, there are other reasons as well.  Here is part of the statement from the school’s principal, Tim England:

In the Old Testament, Joseph was in a place of temptation and he fled. Unlike this situation, he didn’t put himself in that place. Proverbs 4:23 says, “Keep your heart with all diligence for out of it are the issues of life.” II Timothy 2:22 says, “Flee also youthful lusts but follow after righteousness faith charity and peace with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart.” When the school committee, many years before I became the principal, set up the policy regarding dancing, I am confident that they had the principle of fleeing lustful situations in mind. The question as I see it is, should a Christian place themselves at an event where young ladies will have low cut dresses and be dancing in them? Isn’t it contrary to the example of Joseph and the verses that I stated?

I did some research and came across Friendlyatheist.com, which fights Bible fire with Bible fire.  Thanks for providing us with the verse, FriendlyAtheist!

Ecclesiastes 3:1-4 (King James Version)

1To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

2A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;

3A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;

4A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

All sassiness aside, I think there’s something deeper here.  Dance, whether Mr. England chooses to acknowledge it or not, is embedded in the history of humanity.  As cliche as it is, people use dance to express themselves.  People dance at weddings– Christian weddings– to celebrate and show joy.  Little children dance (read= jump up and down and wave their arms) when they’re happy, and they just don’t know why.  In fact, there’s a budding genre of dance called Liturgical dance.  It’s a prayer in the form of dance.  Some people find dance so beautiful and spiritual that they use it as a way to praise the Lord.

Taking away dance is denying an important act of humanity.  Not that I, nor anyone else, should speak for the big guy upstairs, but I don’t think punishing someone for being human is what was intended.

Tyler and his stepfather, Stephan Johnson, went on CBS’ “The Early Show” this morning.  Watch that.  He said he doesn’t regret going to the prom.  I sure hope not.  I hope that he is allowed to walk at his graduation this year.  And when he does, I hope he dances on stage.

And now, a song that I dedicate to dear Tyler. I hope you dance, dude.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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the pregnant man is pregnant. again!

Thomas Beatie, the transgendered man who made headlines earlier this year by simply being a pregnant man, has got a bun in the oven!  Congrats to Thomas, his wife, Nancy, and their baby girl, Susan!  Susan, the competition starts now, kid.  You have to be the perfect oldest child, just like the rest of us first borns!

There’s nothing snarky to say about this, nor should there be.  Everyone is entitled to happiness.  Read the story and watch Thomas’ interview with Barbara Walters here.

And here are some pictures:

It’s really quite remarkable, isn’t it?

[Posted by Kathleen]

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diamonds are a girl’s dead friend.

Everyone has their own way of grieving after a loved one has passed away, but this walks the thin line between “do what you need to do to get by” and “that’s really weird”.  I’m just going to say it the bluntest way possible, because I don’t know how else to explain it.  You can turn dead people’s ashes into diamonds.  Yup.  They’re called remembrance diamonds.  If this is something you think you might be interested in, a company in Switzerland, called Algordanza, will help you out.  Imagine all the awkwardness that this could prompt!

Woman 1:  Those diamond earrings you’re wearing are just GORGEOUS!  Did your husband buy those for your anniversary?

Woman 2:  Oh no!  It’s my Great Uncle Walter!  He just died a few months ago.

Woman 1:  Ahh, I see.  So the diamonds are a family heirloom?

Woman 2:  No, the diamonds are literally my Great Uncle Walter.

Woman 1:  Errr…did you get the sympathy card I sent you a few months back?

And this bling does not come cheap.  Reuters gives us a figure around $7,488…sometimes less, sometimes more.  Eeek.

So what are people doing with these diamonds?  Obviously they turn them into jewelry or keep them in a box.  But one widow had a touching idea–mount the diamond into the table where her hubby used to sit at the local pub.  Of course!  If I’m ever turned into a diamond, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE place me at The Cellar.  (If you went to Richmond, you know what I’m talking about.)

So how popular are these things?

In its first year, 2004, the company sold one diamond. These days it is creating about 60 a month, which Brimer attributes to word-of-mouth recommendations and media coverage, as Algordanza does not advertise.

I was discussing this with my manly, bearded friend Neil.  Neil, who is pursuing his Masters in Marketing or something weird like that, said he could come up with a good pitch for remembrance diamonds if given some time.  The world is waiting, Neil.  This should be a toughie.  I encourage all readers to think of witty advertising for this and to post it as a comment.  Maybe someone could convince Lindsay Lohan to wear one.  Or Lil’ Jon can put them in his teeth or something.  That’s sure to jumpstart the trend.

As if this couldn’t get creepier, the technology to make diamonds from ashes can also be applied to make synthetic diamonds from other materials…such as hair.  SICK.

Bobby Thurman — of Nelson Funeral Service in Arkansas, which offers diamonds to both burial and cremation clients — decided to have LifeGem make a diamond from combined samples of his own and his family’s hair.

“My family will cherish this diamond for generations, and I expect other families will want to do the same,” Thurman said.

I’m expect most families DO NOT want to do the same, Bobby.  But whatev.

I’m sorry for the morbid six word title/subject, but I couldn’t let this go by without sharing it.  And the title is kind of clever, no?

[Posted by Kathleen]

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we just can’t quit you, hillary.

As you might expect, there’s some news floating around in cyberspace today, so for you, dear readers, I have compiled a roundup:

  • Hillary Clinton’s name will be placed on the nomination at the DNC in Denver. Now, Obama’s okay with this (because he’s a perfect gentleman, duh), but it just doesn’t seem like a good idea to me. Sure, it is nice to “honor” Clinton’s campaign and all of her hard work, but might it be better to present a united front and “honor” the actual presumptive nominee? [Washington Post]
  • “According to an analysis of campaign contributions by the nonpartisan Center for Responsive Politics, Democrat Barack Obama has received nearly six times as much money from troops deployed overseas at the time of their contributions than has Republican John McCain, and the fiercely anti-war Ron Paul, though he suspended his campaign for the Republican nomination months ago, has received more than four times McCain’s haul.” Make your own conclusions, kids. [A bunch of other sources via Wonkette]
  • Streetcars are taking over the country, which is great, because they are good for the environment and make more people move downtown. Downtown Denver already has a free mall ride along 16th Street, and it’s basically a streetcar, and it’s pretty cool. Plus, it feeds my laziness. (Although I do still prefer pedicabs.) [NYTimes]
  • Jared Polis, an openly gay Boulder-ite, won the Democratic primary in Colorado to fill Representative Mark Udall’s Congress seat. “If Mr. Polis is elected to replace [Udall] in November, he would become the third openly gay or lesbian member of Congress.” Hooray for Colorado! You go, Jared! [NYTimes]
  • Last week, some crazo (who calls himself “Mr. Unstable”) took a bath in the utility sink at Burger King. To celebrate his birthday. I’m all for, er, cleanliness, but I tend to put a slightly different spin on the whole birthday celebration thing. Anyway, today the crazo apologized.  Luckily, as I’ve mentioned before, I prefer Wendy’s. [AOL]
  • Apparently the latest trend in eating disorders is “pregorexia,” in which women diet and exercise so much while pregnant that they actually put their baby’s health at risk. Seriously, people?! When I’m pregnant, you can expect to find me immobile on a couch eating as much Ben & Jerry’s and bacon as I can get my hands on. [AOL]
In other news, I’ve become addicted to Craigslist furniture sales. Just thought you should know. 

[Posted by Mallory]

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youtube clip of today: run, emily!

Okay, so I usually only post videos that I can put into the post, you know, just to make things easier for you–I’m just that nice. But this video is SO funny, and SO good, that I am willing to overlook the fact that it needs to be linked. I hope you can too.

Click here, NOW.

Yay Emily! Run, girl! If I did this, my parents would be so proud! No joke. Though I do have to wonder, where did she think she was going? If you notice, she never really runs in a straight line. From what I remember from my nature classes as a child (yes, I was nature girl), this is the recommended technique to use when running away from creatures such as alligators. Or scary presidents. Emily, I think you’re really cool.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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tales from my morning news stalk.

Good mornnnnnnnnnnning! I have completed my morning news/gossip stalk, and because blogging about each of these would take all day I’m putting it all together in one glorious post. Don’t you judge me.

So now we find out that Jesse Jackson not only threatened the testicles of Saint Barack, he used the N-word too. Ohhh, no you did not! Here is what he said: “See, Barack been, um, talking down to black people on this faith-based – I wanna cut his nuts out. … Barack – he’s talking down to black people — telling n——s how to behave.” Bill O’Reilly, who broke the original story said they didn’t use this part because it was unnecessary. He called the person who leaked this (they don’t know who it is…yet) a “weasel” (that’s the pot calling the kettle black, Billy!) and then put the fear of God in us all but especially the poor sniveling soul that will eventually be homeless and miserable– “I have the waterboard over here. … We’ll find out.” As some of my friends say, “things that are unsurprising.”  You can read what I had to say before we learned Jesse dropped the N-bomb here.

But speaking of Barack, he pulled in a mere $52 Million for this quarter. No big deal. The Wonkette headline made me giggle: Hope Rides In On A $52 Million Unicorn. I assume the unicorn reference came from JibJab’s new video, which you can watch if you click here. Thoughts? Not as good as the Bush/Kerry one from 2004. But whatev.

One woman went for 20 years not knowing she had two monstrous tumors. When I say monstrous, I mean it. The tumors were just removed and she is now 140 lbs. lighter. ONE HUNDRED AND FORTY POUNDS. Damn, girl. Maybe there are two tumors where my love handles are? I should get that checked out.

Tonight should be amazing for political dorks who love great American pastimes in DC. It is the yearly Congressional baseball game, where all the politicians look to appear cool and revert back to their high school days. That’s right, the Republican congressmen and the Democratic congressmen, in a rivalry almost as intense as the Red Sox and Yankees, play each other. This is usually humiliating for the Dems, as the Republicans win every year. BUT DEMOCRATS ARE GOOD AT SPORTS TOO, OKAY?!

In TeeVee news, Scrubs is coming back for another season! Hoooray! Katherine Heigl managed to keep her miserable character on Grey’s for another season.

And for movies, The Dark Knight opens soon. Read anything on it, and they tell you that Heath was amazing. HEEEEEEEEEATH. WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY. I can’t wait. Also, Mal posted about ScarJo’s singing, so I felt this is a little relevant: Defamer made a list of the Top Ten Unlikely Vocal Performances from Non-Singing Actors. Ugh, I HATE Tom Cruise. He deserves to be on no list other than Top Creepiest Person of All Time.

Happy news stalking!

[Posted by Kathleen]

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a little something for your weekend.

Unfortunately, I won’t be blogging much this weekend. But to get you through, I have compiled a list of links that I most likely would have blogged about or find interesting enough to share, and you’ll have to use your imagination to think of what Mal and/or I would say about them.

This story about siblings torn apart by the Holocaust and being reunited after 66 years made me cry more than watching the video of Christian the Lion. No jokes and nothing snarky to say–there is good in this world.

Here is an interesting piece on Wall-E. The first negative thing I’ve read and it brings up some valid points. Still haven’t seen the movie though. What do you think?

People are over medicated, and our dogs are next. Here is a piece from the NYT Magazine. Since I’m not going to, make all the jokes you want. Make me proud.

There’s going to be a DC version of “The Hills”. I’m pissed, because I wanted to be in it. My idea for a show title was just “The Hill”. Clever, I know. Ha. Shockingly, they went for more party oriented than political party oriented girls…

I love baby names, and I might give someone a candy bar or something to let me name their child. But give up a gas card? HELL NO. Have you seen the price of gas? This story is so wrong on so many levels. I LOVE IT. These people are nutso. Maybe I should do something like this. I bet I could come up with something better than Sunday Rose. Ugh.

And finally, a slideshow of supermodels then and now. Claudia Schiffer is still pretty hot. And girl don’t even get me started on Tyra.

Dunzo. Enjoy. Comment. Have adventures. Miss me. XOXO.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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Filed under blogging, celebrities, definitely not politics, family, fashion, movies, news, politics, random, the arts, the hill, TV

i’ll smell you later, patches wegmann.

Oooh, I like this story. Patches Wegmann (SUPERB name, by the way. Take that, Sunday Rose Kidman Urban!) was arrested yesterday because she was knocking men out with her scent. Wait, what? Yeah, Patches was selling cologne (that’s legit), waved a sample in some dude’s face, and he got sick. She’s done this a couple of times, apparently. Here is what the news story says about Patches’ first chump after she tickled his olfactory organ with her man-eating cologne:

The victim returned to work, where he passed out, investigators said. His symptoms included dizziness, shortness of breath, and numbness in his extremities.

His extremities? Hmm. Anyway, a month later she did it again. And this time the police got her and booked her on charges of second-degree battery and unlawful solicitation. Damn, girl. I know you want to see what she looks like–

There you go.

They haven’t tested Patches’ cologne yet (or released what it really was), but I’m willing to put money on it being from Abercrombie & Fitch or Hollister (essentially the same thing). Ever walk past one of those stores? With the combination of bad techno, bad lighting and a horrific odor, it makes you want to have a seizure. My brother used to wear Abercrombie cologne, bless his little heart. I would rather him come back from a basketball game smelling like sweat and not shower for two days than deal with the redolence (SAT word!) of Abercrombie on a daily basis again. Seriously, my extremities go numb and I want to vomit whenever I smell it.

One last thing. They didn’t report what the motive behind Patches’ puzzling actions was. Any guesses? Maybe she’s just craaaazy.

And this is completely gratuitous, but (in my expert opinion) here is a sample of the only good that comes from Abercrombie:

Rawr!

[Posted by Kathleen]

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