Category Archives: food

some thoughts before the new year.

It’s been a while since we last talked. Some things have happened! For instance:

  • I traveled to five states in one week.
  • I became obsessed with this song.
  • I won Nerd Prom.
  • Baby Jesus was born, again!
  • I ate a really good veggie burger.
  • I pretended to care about sports, like, three times. (My dad was impressed that I could describe a first down. Really, Dad? Thanks for the confidence.)
  • I got to hang out in Colorado for ten days with my pup and fam and two friends from home who are actually still in Denver.
  • I severely jammed and/or broke my toe. I was sitting upstairs in my dad’s office, minding my own business, and feeling annoyed that the Christmas socks I was wearing were toe socks. I HATE toe socks. Like pants are to your legs, they’re like prisons for your toes. Obviously, I pulled all of my toes out of the toe prison parts, so there was some extra material just flappin’ around. Then the doorbell rang, so I rang down the carpeted stairs, my feet slipped out from under me, and my right foot rammed into the wall. Then my dog started barking his head off in my face, and I almost murdered him. I had to answer the door all like, “Oh, hi, sorry, just fell down the stairs. No, I’m totally not about to cry. Haha, okay, thanks for the spiced nuts, neighbor.” Then my toe started to really hurt. Then I went on a pub crawl that involved a lot of walking. Then my toe turned sort of black. Then purple. Now it’s just sort of bulbous and can’t bend, so I’m fine, but REALLY MALLORY? You couldn’t walk for a week because you fell down the stairs wearing slippery Christmas toe socks?! Because I have a history of showing you my injuries for no reason at all, here’s a picture of the toe at its purplest. You’re welcome:

So Happy New Year’s Eve Eve, dear readers, and get excited: 2011 is going to be THE BEST YEAR EVER! You know why? It’s 2011! Which means 11/11/11 is finally coming! Which means I can have my gala! You’re all invited, so I’ll keep you posted. I seriously cannot wait.

Now I’m off to paint the town sparkly with Kathleeny.

[Posted by Mallory]

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shake the dust: a thanksgiving poem.

Hope you all are snuggled up with your family and enjoying the day off! I’m snuggled up with the Mouse fam and I’m already stuffed full of cheese eggs and “making stuffing” (read: writing this post while Miss Mouse chops things). My high school was supposedly in the Macy’s Parade, but I didn’t see them, so I’m beginning to suspect I’ve been lied to.

Anywho, I heard this poem recently and I think it’s beautiful, and somehow appropriate for Thanksgiving. Hopefully you agree:

Gobble gobble.

[Posted by Mallory]

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youtube clip of today: the turbaconepic.

Happy Thanksgiving, y’all. Hope you get to stuff your faces!

[Posted by Kathleen]

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today is a google holiday, hooray!

I am thankful for Google Holidays.

Today’s Google Holiday: Ina Garten’s Thanksgiving Recipes from Google. Holy cranberry sauce, you guys. This is two of my favorite things combined! I’d recommend not looking at the recipes if it’s midnight and you have no food in your apartment.

What I was Googling: L’Occitane. Hostess gift…Mouser, don’t tell Merrimom.

Hope you all get a short day tomorrow and are preparing to put your waistband expanders to good use!

[Posted by Mallory]

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how i lost my scuba virginity.

I miss 'er already.

As it turns out, that downtime in between day and evening never came to be. Instead, I sat with Ling and the folks with whom she had just completed a refresher scuba course as they rehashed the events of the day. We drank Stella beers (no, not Stella Artois…Egyptian Stella) and they talked about the fish they’d seen and what it felt like to be back in the water.

I had started a blog post in this same Word document five days ago when we were on the ferry from Aqaba, a beach town on the tiny coast of Jordan, to Egypt. As I write now, we are headed back the other direction, taking the ferry to Aqaba and staying a night before heading back to Amman for the duration.

The past week in Dahab, a laidback scuba town on the coast of the Red Sea in Egypt, has been phenomenal. Having traveled there before, Ling was very subtly encouraging me to choose a long stay in Dahab over a package deal in Sharm el-Sheikh, a larger and more touristy Egypt beach town south of Dahab. She had described to me just how relaxed Dahab was, but it was something I couldn’t quite imagine until I saw it. I’m so glad I trusted her, and feel so lucky to have spent a few days in such a gorgeous setting meeting such wonderful people. (And frankly, lucky to have gotten onto this ferry; the Sinai doesn’t really do organized tourism, so getting on this boat was an adventure. Let’s just say that an Egyptian line appears to be nothing more than a large crowd of people jostling one another in the vicintity of a ticket window of some sort.)

But back to the beginning of this leg of the trip: After an hour-long ferry ride, Ling and I arrived in Nuweiba, Egypt, where we were to meet a driver from our hotel who would take us on the hour-long journey to Dahab. When we got off the ferry, there was no driver to be found; instead, we found a mostly empty parking lot with a few buses and quite literally just followed the other tourists onto one of them. It was hot and things got sweaty, and after only a few minutes we were dropped off in another parking lot filled with cars and trucks and furniture and people. There were no signs to tell us where to go or how to find our drivers, so we more or less just wandered through a building or two until we arrived at something of a security checkpoint. And, thank god, on the other side of that security checkpoint a man was waiting with a sign with Ling’s name on it. (A bit different than when I arrived at the Queen Alia Airport in Amman and found my driver holding a sign that said “Ms. Mallory” – no last name. Made me smile.)

After several rounds of Would You Rather? (adult braces for a year, or pedophile glasses with transition lenses for a year?), we arrived at our hotel, Coral Coast, and instantly fell in love. It’s a tiny hotel with maybe a few dozen rooms, and the pool was literally steps away from the door of our cozy room. We spent the next four days doing what you do when you’re in Dahab: lounging by the pool, snorkeling and scuba diving, eating Asian food (yeah…I don’t quite understand either), and drinking lots of Egyptian Stella. It’s a place that makes it easy to forget that there’s a world outside, and in fact, many locals were once vacationers who found the thought of leaving Dahab unbearable. We met folks from London, the U.S., and New Zealand who had essentially dropped off the grid and now spent their days teaching scuba and living the dream.

The path we walked many times each day.

Dahab (emphasis on the first syllable: DAH-hab) is known for its scuba diving, and although I’ve never dived before, I figured I couldn’t leave the place without getting a taste of some underwater adventure. I signed up for a “Discover Dive” course one day, overslept (that’s a shocker for those of you who know me), and rushed out of my room with nothing but a towel and lunch money. I hopped in a truck with my American-born dive instructor and two Welsh divers about my age and we drove 20 minutes south of Dahab to some of the loveliest landscape I’ve ever seen. As you’ll recall, I brought only a towel and lunch money, so there was no camera to document my adventure, but suffice to say it was amazing, and that I’m officially hooked. I spent the morning snorkeling, and I was so giddy and high on life that I kept laughing out loud underwater and gurgling (to the fishes, I guess), “I’m SNORKELING off the coast of AFRICA.” When I’d pop my head up, I’d see sandy beaches, sharp mountain ranges, and camels and then I’d duck back under and continue beaming to no one in particular.

Scuba diving itself was equally amazing. My guide, Matt, held onto my tank and took care of the other stuff that keeps you breathing on our 30-minute dive, and while the experience is a little nerve-wracking at first – I mean, you’re breathing underwater – it is ultimately freaking a-MAH-ing. I’m already dreaming up where I might go to take a full scuba certification course. Who’s in?

This is pretty much what I looked like, only my guide was on top of me making sure I didn't drown.

It’s hard to believe that this large chunk of the trip is already over, and it was even harder to leave a place that allowed me to spend my days in the water and my nights sitting on a bunch of pillows on a deck overlooking the water as I sipped cocktails, played gin rummy, and smoked sheesha (don’t worry, Ma; that’s not a drug). The night breeze almost makes you forget that the daytime is so hot that it’s impossible to spend more than a few minutes at a time outside of some body of water.

When it comes to vacations, I’ve always been frustrated with myself for taking a thousand scenery pictures that never mean much to me after the trip (and that my relatives have gotten rull bored looking at). But Dahab was so interesting that it was hard to not take a ton of photos of the beach, the shops, and the sights in general. It’s a strange place that’s both dirty and gorgeous; the streets are littered with bits of trash, as is the beach, and many of the buildings (even just outside the busting center of the city) look deserted. Stray dog and cats appear in every shop, hotel, and restaurant, and around every street corner. That description makes me think I’d hate the city, but all things considered, it’s still a beautiful place, and the contrast of, say, dirty streets to bright blue water silhouetted by mountains, makes you appreciate your surroundings even more. I could do without the extreme nature of the heat and the persistent shopkeepers (who were occasionally very creative – one man selling canvas bags yelled out, “Want to steal some money?!”), but they don’t make me love Dahab any less. I mean, I got to spend last night drinking Bedouin tea (a black tea made with sage), playing with an adorable puppy (pretty sure he didn’t have rabies….yet), and sitting by the ocean watching the moon rise. How can you argue with that?

I brilliantly didn’t bring my camera cord with me on the trip, so you may not be seeing photos of said gorgeous scenery until I’m back in DC (perhaps a bit sooner if we upload some of Ling’s). For now, I’m headed out, but I hope I can go back to Dahab soon. Tonight Ling and I will be staying in a slightly less sparse hotel in Aqaba, and I’ll be doing my best to avoid further sunburn and treat my totally badass “reef rash” which left me with large welts on my right knee. I’ll do my best to check in a bit more regularly, but again, I shouldn’t really promise anything. If you don’t hear from me for a few days, please assume that I’m having fun and ignoring my computer rather than slowly dying of coral poisoning.

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just six words and a link.

Um, websites like this actually exist.

[Posted by Mallory]

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department of things that are unsurprising…

So, remember back around Christmastime when I posted about the best invention ever in the world? Which was a breakfast sandwich-making machine? And remember how none of you assholes bought it for me?

Well, turns out one of you assholes HAD bought it for me, almost a full year prior, in anticipation of my graduation. Two major observations here:

1. How great is the thought and planning that went into this gift? The idea was hatched more than a year before the gift was given, and was kept secret all that time! It still makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside to think about it.

2. My favorite gift that I received for my graduation from graduate school was a machine that makes breakfast sandwiches.

The rooms and I got to christen the breakfast sandwich machine a couple of weeks ago, and holy soy sausage, that thing is amazing. Try to imagine it: an average toaster with a sidecar that includes an egg cooker and a meat warmer. You can’t even picture it, can you? It’s beyond the realm of your imagination, isn’t it? Thank goodness Amazon can provide a photo:

Hello, lover.

Here’s how it goes: you pop your bread in the toaster, crack an egg into the world’s tiniest frying pan, place your meat in the meat warmer, press a button, and spend the next ten minutes staring eagerly at your breakfast sandwich machine and reading the instruction manual, which says hilarious things like “Remove toast, egg, and meat. Assemble into sandwich, or enjoy separately.” And then…it’s ready. And the egg looks just like those freaky perfect round ones from McDonald’s. And suddenly, all is right with the world.

It’s the little things, really.

[Posted by Mallory]

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youtube clip(s) of the day: opposite extremes.

You’re getting two for one today, folks. HOW EXCITED ARE YOU??!

First, via a budding lawyer friend, yet another video that proves that drunk people will never not be entertaining:

(I think the moral of the story here is that you should wear full-on shoes to Coachella.)

And going to another extreme, a real-life lawyer friend we’ll call LRB showed me this gem yesterday, proving that little kids will also never not be entertaining:

Best part: “CHOCOLATEEEEEE!!!!!” I have a feeling I’ll end up with a child just like that.

If you ever find good stuff (videos or otherwise) that must be shared with the world, feel free to send it our way at sixwordstochangetheworld@gmail.com.

[Posted by Mallory]

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today is a google holiday, hooray!

Guys, I’ve had so many thoughts in my head that I’ve wanted to tell you about, but instead of telling them to you, I watch Super Size Me (ten years after the rest of the country) and fall asleep. Sorry about that. The good news is that Google Holidays keep me on track. They taunt me, saying “YOU CAN’T IGNORE ME. YOU MUST BLOG ABOUT ME.” And I oblige, because I’m not one to mess with the Google.

Google Holiday: Happy St. Patrick’s Day. As you might have suspected, Google is honoring America’s favorite excuse to day drink and wear green hats that look like beer steins. (Hypothetically speaking, of course.) Since I celebrated my St. Patty’s Day approximately three years ago up in Hoboken — and since I have “school” and “a job” — I’m taking it easy today, just cold wearing green pants and going about my day as usual.

What I was Googling: tostitos salsa ingredients. I’ve surely mentioned here before that I love salsa. If DC legalizes marriage between a human and a condiment, I’m running down to the city court with a jumbo-sized jar of Tostitos Chunky Salsa Medium. Not that I’m picky. I love almost every salsa I’ve ever tasted, and though I eat it in frightening quanties (like, say, half a jar on a pair of scrambled eggs. Did I just admit that publicly?), I figure there are worst things I could be addicted to. Like heroin, or McDonald’s. (Am I right, Morgan Spurlock?!)

But then I read this article in the NYT, and it made me feel all inauthentic for loving mass-produced American brands just as much as I love the salsa from the amazing hole-in-the-wall taco place around the corner from work (where I’m eating lunch today, HUZZAH!). This opening section, in particular, bothered me:

“Everybody here thinks they know what Mexican food is,” said Nicholas Cox, the chef at La Esquina in NoLIta. “Especially if they’re from Texas or California.” (Ed. note: Ha! So true.)

Salsa, in particular, has emerged as Mexico’s most misunderstood culinary export. In Paris, Mexican restaurants make it with minced cornichon pickles and ketchup; in Japan, with green shishito peppers and Kewpie mayonnaise; in American factories, with corn syrup and red bell peppers.

In the spirit of all things Morgan Spurlock and Food, Inc., does my salsa have CORN SYRUP in it?! If it did, I’m not sure that I would really care and/or change anything about my salsa habits, but I became determined to find out the truth. And damn, Tostitos makes it a challenge to find out what’s in their salsa. I pored over their website, Googled like a mad woman, read a few blogs, and finally discovered that Tostitos Chunky Medium Salsa is nothing but tomato puree, diced tomatoes in tomato juice, jalapeno peppers, onions, vinegar, salt, garlic powder, and natural flavor. (Thanks to Off Her Cork for answering that one for me.) And while natural flavor might be a leetle sketchy, this makes me feel okay about the fact that I ate crackers dipped in salsa for dinner last night. Or, at least, as okay as I could be with that level of pathetic-ness.

I guess what I’m trying to say here is HAPPY ST. PATRICK’S DAY! Pound some Guinnesses and listen to this song on repeat, because it’s the best:

[Posted by Mallory]

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today is a google holiday, hooray!

Google Holiday: Norman Rockwell’s Birthday. Our buddy Norman would have been 116 today, assuming I’m capable of doing math this early. You, of course, know Rockwell from such famous works as these:

Rockwell is about as iconic as you can get here in America, and I found it sort of sad to read (on Wikipedia, duh) that a psychiatrist once told him that he painted his happiness, but did not live it. Let’s hope that changed by the end of his life.

If you happen to be in Stockbridge, Massachusetts later today, stop by the Norman Rockwell Museum to celebrate.

What I was Googling: Krispy Kreme

[Posted by Mallory]

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