Tag Archives: graduation

department of things that are unsurprising…

So, remember back around Christmastime when I posted about the best invention ever in the world? Which was a breakfast sandwich-making machine? And remember how none of you assholes bought it for me?

Well, turns out one of you assholes HAD bought it for me, almost a full year prior, in anticipation of my graduation. Two major observations here:

1. How great is the thought and planning that went into this gift? The idea was hatched more than a year before the gift was given, and was kept secret all that time! It still makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside to think about it.

2. My favorite gift that I received for my graduation from graduate school was a machine that makes breakfast sandwiches.

The rooms and I got to christen the breakfast sandwich machine a couple of weeks ago, and holy soy sausage, that thing is amazing. Try to imagine it: an average toaster with a sidecar that includes an egg cooker and a meat warmer. You can’t even picture it, can you? It’s beyond the realm of your imagination, isn’t it? Thank goodness Amazon can provide a photo:

Hello, lover.

Here’s how it goes: you pop your bread in the toaster, crack an egg into the world’s tiniest frying pan, place your meat in the meat warmer, press a button, and spend the next ten minutes staring eagerly at your breakfast sandwich machine and reading the instruction manual, which says hilarious things like “Remove toast, egg, and meat. Assemble into sandwich, or enjoy separately.” And then…it’s ready. And the egg looks just like those freaky perfect round ones from McDonald’s. And suddenly, all is right with the world.

It’s the little things, really.

[Posted by Mallory]

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Filed under adventures, food, health

belated roundup of some google holidays!

Hi guys! GUESS WHAT?! I OFFICIALLY GOT GRADUATED! After three hours of wearing polyester and sitting in the most miserable heat (let’s just say my “friend” who was sitting next to me kept saying things like, “Um, Mallory, the sweat is dripping down your legs. Again.” And I was like, “Want me to wipe it off with my hand and rub it on your face?” And he was like, “Want me to MURDER you?” Stuff like that…), I was given a diploma and partied the weekend away with my parents (who are cooler than me) and my friends (who agree that my parents are cooler than me). Point is, with all of the chaos leading up to the big graduation day, I missed a few Google holidays. Without further ado:

That day’s Google Holiday: 170th Birthday of Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky. Insert some cool facts about ballet here.

What I was Googling: NOTHING, OKAY? I was in a hurry to get a screen shot.

That day’s Google Holiday: Mother’s Day. Yay! We all love mamas, although I also love Anne Lamott, and she wrote a great article on why she (a fellow mama) hates Mother’s Day.

What I was Googling: keep calm love blogs

That day’s Google Holiday: Pac-Man’s 30th Anniversary. This was easily one of Google’s best. It was a real game, and come on, who doesn’t have fond memories of playing Pac-Man at the local pizza shop? (I might be confusing my childhood with the movie version of my childhood, but I did love that game.)

What I was Googling: crumping. Turns out, it’s krumping. Thanks, Google!

And speaking of Google, remember how much I love Google’s predictive feature? Whelp, I stumbled upon another excellent one, and I thought I’d share:

Never fails. Have a good Monday, everyone! (I know you will, because you’ve already said your daily affirmation.)

[Posted by Mallory]

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Filed under blogging, history, pictures, pop culture, technology