Category Archives: food

youtube clip of today: $25,000 cupcake.

I know I’ve been posting a lot of videos lately, but I’d like to think that they are a lot of entertaining videos, which makes it okay. To continue the trend, I show you the following, which is inexplicably one of the most hilarious things I’ve ever seen:

I found this video on my new favorite blog, Bulimia’s so ’87.

In other news, I COOKED SOMETHING TODAY. Like, used ingredients and pots and stuff and made soup. Real soup! Not the microwaveable kind! And my family ate it! Guys, I think this might mean that I’m closing in on the whole adulthood thing. Baby steps.

[Posted by Mallory]

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drop mad lbs with this plan!

The guy next to me at the gym was eating a muffin while he rode the stationary bike. Can’t let those calories escape without a fight! And speaking of muffins, I once read on another blog that muffins are for people who don’t have the balls to eat cake for breakfast. I like that.

[Posted by Mallory]

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do people still eat eggo waffles?

Now, here is a serious tragedy.  Kellogg has reported that there will be a shortage of Eggo waffles until next summer.   Two of the four plants that mass-produce the waffles are shut down for the time-being.  The largest “bakery” in Rossville, Tennessee  is closed indefinitely for repairs and the other in Atlanta was shut down because of an unprecedented amount of rain from a September storm.

If all else fails, we could all cut holes in cardboard and throw them in the toaster.   I bet we couldn’t tell the difference.

[Posted by Shannon]

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ladies and gents, a christmas post!

It’s that time of the year, folks! The time of the year when you have 14,000 things to do because you’re in grad school and you’re bitter because all you want to do is gorge on cookies and listen to Christmas music. So as a subsitute, you eat whatever free food is given to you, and stand in front of Five Guys for long periods of time because you can hear their Christmas music from outside the restaurant. (No, that didn’t happen. Except one time, maybe it did.)

It’s also the time of year that, apparently, my office goes CAH-razy for the holidays. We have at least three full-size Christmas trees on my floor alone (not to mention the intense lobby decorations), and this morning I walked by the office of a co-worker who appears to have scotch-taped a Christmas dish towel to his door. Also, our office party begins at 11:30. In the morning. And lasts all day. Happy Holidays indeed.

So have you guys heard Lady Gaga’s new “Christmas” song? I’ve heard it once. It goes like this:

Now, I hadn’t heard that song at the time that a stranger sent me the following lyrics via Gchat:

Light me up put me on top lets
Fa la la la la la la la la
Ho ho ho
Under the miseltoe
Yes everybody knows
We will take off our clothes
Yes if you want us to we will (huh) you
Ho ho christmas
My christmas tree is delicious

He was one of those automatic people that got added to my Gchat even though I don’t know him at all (you Gmailers know how that works), and he sent me that awkwardness. And that made me smile, because normally I do the awkward things around here.

UPDATE: My officemate tells me that this isn’t Lady Gaga, and she’s obsessed with Lady Gaga, so I kind of believe her. I feel like a sucker. Can anyone clarify?? Either way, that story is still awkward OKAY?

UPDATE THE SECOND: Wait, maybe it is real?

In conclusion. I know that I make a lot of jokes on this blog, but I’m about to get serious. I really and truly need someone to buy me this for Christmas. In return, I will give you my eternal love and adoration, along with a piping hot cup of coffee (or tea!) and a damn good breakfast sandwich. (Seriously. Not a joke. I’ll send you my mailing address.)

[Posted by Mallory]

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today is a google holiday, hooray!

Today’s Google Holiday: What would have been the 115th birthday of E.C. Segar, the creator of Popeye. Anyone ever been to Chester, Illinois? That’s where E.C. — or lil Elzie, as I’d prefer to call him — was born and raised. Chester residents love them some Popeye, and to prove it, statues of various characters from the cartoon are taking over:

In 1977, Segar’s hometown of Chester, Illinois honored its native son with a park named in his honor. The park is home to a six-foot-tall bronze statue of Popeye, and since 1980 has been the site of the annual Popeye Picnic, a weekend-long event that celebrates the character with a parade, film festival and other activities. In 2006, Chester launched the ambitious “Popeye & Friends Character Trail,” which links a series of statues of Segar’s characters located throughout town. Each stands on a base inscribed with the names of donors who contributed to its cost, and is unveiled and dedicated during the Popeye Picnic. The 2006 debut sculpture of hamburger-loving Wimpy stands in Gazebo Park. A statue of Olive Oyl, Swee’Pea and the Jeep, located downtown near the Randolph County Courthouse, followed in 2007. In 2008, a Bluto statue was dedicated at the corner of Swanwick and W. Holmes Streets, in front of Buena Vista Bank. The 2009 statue of Castor Oyl and Bernice the Whiffle Hen stands in front of Chester Memorial Hospital. An additional 11 statues will be unveiled at the rate of one per year until 2019, when a bust of Segar at his birthplace will mark the cartoonist’s 125th birthday. To keep the slate on schedule, one year will feature two dedications, with the Sea Hag as the “wild card.”

What I was Googling: lucas welch liza chambers

Now go eat some spinach and raise a glass to lil Elzie.

[Posted by Mallory]

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sarah palin is my unpaid intern.

Happy Monday, y’all! I hope you all had gluttonous and drunken Thanksgivings, just as the Pilgrims intended.

On Saturday night after falling asleep circa 10 p.m. while attempting to research for a paper (RAGEEEEE), I had a really disturbing dream. There’s this newsletter that I’m supposed to be writing for one of my internships, and it’s been hanging over my head for months and stressing me out on a regular basis. I needed to get it done, oh, in September, so every time I think about it I get heart palpitations and feel like a bad person. Such a bad person, I guess, that in my dream I hired SARAH PALIN to help me finish the newsletter. SARAH. PALIN. I know what you’re thinking: “Mallory, she was a journalism major, and she did just write a book, in only a few months. The talent!” To which I counter with a very serious “HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.” The only good part about this dream was that I got to boss Palin around while she furiously took notes.

In other much, much better news, my mom sent me a really cute video the other day. I’m going to preface the video by telling you that you should not be expecting Beyonce-esque choreography here. The reason I love this video (and why I cried so much) is that it’s just a bunch of normal people having a ton of fun for a really good cause. How great is that?

Speaking of crying, I saw The Blind Side on Thanksgiving. I haven’t cried that hard in a movie since probably a few weeks ago, but guys it was BAD. I was with Kelsey and her fabulous roommate A.J., and Kelsey and I were legitimately making a scene. This means I’ve now seen at least four movies that made me cry so hard that strangers in the theater stared and made comments. Awesome. (UPDATE: This local DC blog has a pretty good guest post discussing The Blind Side and Precious. I saw Precious last Friday and holy jeebus, it was depressing. Good movie, but honestly such a bummer that I’m not sure I’d recommend it to many people.)

And to continue the stream-of-consciousness: A.J. is a really good dancer. One time, he did almost the whole Single Ladies dance while I awkwardly jumped around nearby. The other day, I asked him how long it took him to learn that dance, and he was all, “Oh, that? What do you mean? I didn’t ever really try to learn it. I was just having fun!” Sigh. Don’t you just hate some people?

[Posted by Mallory]

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Filed under adventures, dance, definitely not politics, food, pop culture, YouTube

happy thanksgiving, all you little turkeys!

Thanksgiving is upon us yet again, and I’m currently at work hoping that we will soon get an email saying “LEAVE. NOW. EVERYONE. GOBBLE GOBBLE.” So far, no luck.

I was taking a look at my Thanksgiving post from last year, and I must say: not a whole lot has changed. I’m still thankful for all of that good stuff (like goat cheese and Michael Franti and not being pregnant). Yesterday in my Pilates class, while we were doing a move called “the teaser,” the instructor asked us to think only of things we were thankful for. No bad thoughts like “hot DAMN this is hard!” I thought that was kind of sweet.

This year I’ll be spending Thanksgiving here in DC with Kelsey and a couple other lovely people, and we are forgoing the traditional feast-and-family route in favor of Korean spas and fancy dinners. I’ll let you know how that goes.

While we’re at it, I’ve gotta confess: World, I am thankful for Jason Segel. Even though I’m very NOT thankful that he pulled this stunt at the Swell Season concert in LA rather than the one in DC. Asshole.

Eat lots of delicious things tomorrow, and be happy about all you’ve got going for you. Gobble gobble!

[Posted by Mallory]

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it’s my best friend’s birthday! yay!

Ladies and gentlemen, it’s my best friend’s birthday! Her name is Kelsey, and sometimes she wears earmuffs with party dresses:

And that, among many, many other things, is why I love her.

Something I don’t love is oysters. I just discovered that today. I was convinced to try an oyster from the Sustainable Oyster Dude at Whole Foods (how do you like THEM samples), and even though I was skeptical, I was in a brave mood. I’m not a big shellfish person because, um, ew. We made lots of jokes about shooting it back — but not like vodka, haha! — and squeezing the lemon on the oyster — but not like you bite a lemon with tequila, haha! — and then I shot that oyster back and only the nasty juice came out, with some chunks of the shell. YUM. I was shell-shocked (pun originally not intended, but retrospectively fully intended) and feeling queasy, but I grabbed a plastic fork and ate that nasty little piece of oyster meat because I’M NOT A QUITTER. And now I want to throw up. The Sustainable Oyster Dude did not enjoy my jokes about needing a LOT of vodka or tequila before I do that again. He recommend a dry white wine. Some people are no fun.

Kelsey is not one of those people. She’s one of the fun ones, thank goodness. For that, among many, many other things, let’s wish Kelsey a happy birthday. Yay!

[Posted by Mallory]

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devil wears prada correspondent on MFCs.

anne_hathaway_devil_wears_prada_chanel

Our dear friend — let’s call her Corporate Barbie — had the most ridonk, legit Anne-Hathaway-in-The-Devil-Wears-Prada job ever. She survived a year and got promoted, and luckily her sense of humor emerged unscathed. Because this here blog is the quickest way to fame — of any kind, really — she penned this little number and asked that we share it with the masses. And I DO mean masses (hi masses! thanks for reading!). As Corporate Barbie explained, “I thought you might enjoy a piece I wrote earlier today.  It is inspired by my life”:

Earlier today I mentioned to some friends that we should go to the movies tonight. I was under the influence of a “Mid-Friday Crisis” (MFC). Allow me to elaborate.

The MFC typically occurs between 11am and 1pm on Fridays after a Thursday night out, although it can happen at anytime. You know you are having an MFC when you look at your clock and think to your self, “Crap, I have to start being more responsible. It’s only 10:59 and I can’t order lunch yet because I just ate an egg sandwich. The day is not even close to over and I have so much to do that I inevitably will not accomplish.”

Once this thought enters your head, ideas such as “staying in on Thursdays” and “going to the movies on Fridays” immediately follow. And you are actually able to think they are good ideas.

Then you order a grilled cheese/chicken parm sandwich, someone mentions a cover band and the clock turns 2:45. The end of the day is in sight. The Black Eyed Peas “I Gotta Feeling” becomes the theme song to the soundtrack of your life and you can already taste the bad decisions and terrible dance moves you will be pairing with Yuengling and whiskey tonight.

It is safe to say that our resilience when faced with an MFC is the direct cause to why we are such messes.

I wish you all fun Fridays. I’ll be at the Whiskey Bar in Hoboken if any of you care to join!

[Posted by Mallory, but written by Corporate Barbie. (Maybe you think Corporate Barbie is meant to be offensive. It’s not, don’t worry. Corporate Barbie just has a tendency to look exactly like a Barbie in photos.)]

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kevin gillespie, you are my hero.

He’s Beardo to the Gawker live bloggers, David the Gnome to my roommate, and number one in my heart. (Yeah, I totally went there.) Ladies and gentlemen, let’s all take a few moments to appreciate the snuggly wonder that is Kevin from Top Chef:

kevin-gillespie-top-chef

Um hi ginger beard.

But he’s not just snuggly! He’s tough too!

kevin

Just kidding! Still snuggly! Kevin, c’mere and give me a hug!

Seriously, though. I love Kevin. This is a weird season of Top Chef (as in four people are awesome and the rest suck and it’s just matter of time before the show gets to where we all knew it was going from Day One), and Kevin is the only one who consistently delivers and makes me happy (it’s like Blair on Gossip Girl, always making up for the other characters). Jennifer is painfully insecure about her cooking; Hipster Douche lives with his parents and is just plain irritating; something’s off about Robin; Douche Brother needs to learn to talk with his chin up and stop being a sore loser; Nice Brother is blah; and Jersey Douche makes me embarrassed to have liked his restaurant. But Kevin is perfect.

Speaking of perfect, hey Natalie Portman? Wanna be friends? Yer funny.

[Posted by Mallory]

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