Happy Monday, y’all! I hope you all had gluttonous and drunken Thanksgivings, just as the Pilgrims intended.
On Saturday night after falling asleep circa 10 p.m. while attempting to research for a paper (RAGEEEEE), I had a really disturbing dream. There’s this newsletter that I’m supposed to be writing for one of my internships, and it’s been hanging over my head for months and stressing me out on a regular basis. I needed to get it done, oh, in September, so every time I think about it I get heart palpitations and feel like a bad person. Such a bad person, I guess, that in my dream I hired SARAH PALIN to help me finish the newsletter. SARAH. PALIN. I know what you’re thinking: “Mallory, she was a journalism major, and she did just write a book, in only a few months. The talent!” To which I counter with a very serious “HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.” The only good part about this dream was that I got to boss Palin around while she furiously took notes.
In other much, much better news, my mom sent me a really cute video the other day. I’m going to preface the video by telling you that you should not be expecting Beyonce-esque choreography here. The reason I love this video (and why I cried so much) is that it’s just a bunch of normal people having a ton of fun for a really good cause. How great is that?
Speaking of crying, I saw The Blind Side on Thanksgiving. I haven’t cried that hard in a movie since probably a few weeks ago, but guys it was BAD. I was with Kelsey and her fabulous roommate A.J., and Kelsey and I were legitimately making a scene. This means I’ve now seen at least four movies that made me cry so hard that strangers in the theater stared and made comments. Awesome. (UPDATE: This local DC blog has a pretty good guest post discussing The Blind Side and Precious. I saw Precious last Friday and holy jeebus, it was depressing. Good movie, but honestly such a bummer that I’m not sure I’d recommend it to many people.)
And to continue the stream-of-consciousness: A.J. is a really good dancer. One time, he did almost the whole Single Ladies dance while I awkwardly jumped around nearby. The other day, I asked him how long it took him to learn that dance, and he was all, “Oh, that? What do you mean? I didn’t ever really try to learn it. I was just having fun!” Sigh. Don’t you just hate some people?
[Posted by Mallory]
six words to change the world. 
My favorite by far is the wonderful old man janitor. He was so adorable!! Mal, you know you’re not supposed to make me cry at work anymore. I’m going to get a reputation soon.
He was my favorite too! And around 3:16, when there’s the man who looks like he might be a patient, I lost it.
Maybe I’ll start labeling the crying posts as “NOT SAFE FOR WORK.”
Mal,
Please read The Blind Side: Evolution of the Game, by Michael Lewis (the book on which the film was allegedly “based”). Not only will it give you a fascinating and comprehensive overview of the history and rise to prominence of the left tackle position in football, it will also provide a thoughtful, even-handed meditation on how there are many complicated societal factors that influence the course of a child’s life, whether for better or for worse.
What it will NOT give you is a contrived, melodramatic story of a magical white lady saving a poor, helpless minority with equal parts sex appeal and sass. No crying either.
Ooh, I’ll take a look at that book over break. I suppose thoughtful and even-handed is SLIGHTLY better than contrived and melodramatic.
In my defense, how much I cry in a movie is in no way related to the quality of the movie. (For instance, have you seen Seven Pounds?)
I second the old man janitor being my favorite :o)
Oh Gawd I was beginning to wonder if my carefully-controlled cynicism had finally broken out of its cage and eaten my soul…JIM THANK YOU for your comment. Everytime I see a preview for Blind Side my “Hot Damn that looks like a boatload of patronizing racist schmaltz (sorry Mal)” thoughts drown out my “I Loooove sassy Southern women and sports movies” thoughts and then I feel conflicted. The book it is. 😉
I feel like it’s lunch yesterday all over again. Stop ganging up on me, JERKS, or I’ll cry all over your desks.
I expected a bunch of patronizing racist mumbo jumbo, too, but I really did think the movie was touching! Although maybe that was just the little bits of dialogue I heard through the sound of my own sobs.
I will read the book, though, Jimothy, and I’ll get back to you.