Category Archives: thoughts

six words to run the world.

Back when we used to blog semi-regularly, when we disappeared for a while, we’d usually apologize by starting our next post with “OH HAHA HEY REMEMBER US?” But at this point it’s been nearly a year, so fuck that. Sorry we’re not sorry. We’ve been off doing, like, really important things. (No, that’s not true. But we both did start Tumblr bloggies, because, frankly, they’re easier to keep up with because all you have to do is reblog other people’s photos and nice quotes and YouTube videos and you’re under no obligation to even write six words about them. We never formally admitted that here because then it would be like Six Words was over, and I don’t ever want it to be over. WE CAN’T QUIT YOU, SIX WORDS. Now that I’ve mentioned it, though: Kathleeny can be found at everythingisavesselforgoatcheese.tumblr.com and I’m at playingthedrumswithamaraca.tumblr.com. Only one of us has a Tumblr with a six-word title, and it’s me, so I win.)

I’ve been thinking about this here neglected bloggy lately for two reasons:

  1. On Thanksgiving, I randomly read a bunch of my old Thanksgiving posts, and then I felt all emo and missed it here.
  2. Kathleen and I are MAJOR runners now, and when naming our team (read: just the two of us) for an upcoming race, she offered “Six Words to Run the World” as an option, and then I felt all emo and missed it here.

Now that the obligatory re-introduction part is over, let me tell you about how Kathleen and I run now. First, you should probably know that in college, Kathleen and I did a lot of powerwalking (as in we powerwalked like six times total over the course of four years) because we really hated running. We called it our P-Dubs club, and talked about making t-shirts with hilarious sayings like “Running Is for Cowards” and “Runners Find the Dead Bodies.”

Fast forward a few years, and we started running because Kathleen found a Women in Politics 5K and obviously we had to participate. An important thing happened during this run. While neither of us experienced some bullshit like a runner’s high, the race organizer people (or one of the organizers’ boyfriends who had a digital camera, because this run took place on a college campus and wasn’t very legitimate) took an epic photograph of Kathleen and me, wearing matching t-shirts and holding hands as we triumphantly crossed the finish line. (Keep in mind, this was a 5K. Kathleen’s boyfriend ran more than a 5K, uphill, to watch us run ours.)

In theory, this photo was really fucking adorable. In practice, Kathleen looks adorable and I look like a man. Two people who knew it was me said “Holy shit, you look like a dude” upon seeing the photo, and one person who saw the photo and didn’t know the back story thought it was an unattractive male acquaintance we had just been discussing. Naturally, that shit had to get FatBoothed. In all her pixelated glory, here she blows:

If a FatBoothed photo of the ugliest photo ever taken of you doesn’t keep you running, nothing will.

I know what you’re thinking, and no, you cannot have my number, and no, this is not about to become a running blog. I mostly just wanted to show you this photo and say hello. I’ve missed you.

[Posted by Mallory]

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Filed under adventures, blogging, health, six word memoirs, sports, thoughts

nyt: how many deaths are enough?

I loved Bob Herbert’s op-ed in today’s NYT. Here’s an excerpt:

The slaughter of college students — or anyone else — has never served as a deterrent to the gun fetishists. They want guns on campuses, in bars and taverns and churches, in parks and in the workplace, in cars and in the home. Ammunition everywhere — the deadlier, the better. A couple of years ago, a state legislator in Arizona, Karen Johnson, argued that adults needed to be able to carry guns in all schools, from elementary on up. “I feel like our kindergartners are sitting there like sitting ducks,” she said.

Can we get a grip?

The contention of those who would like college kids and just about everybody else to be armed to the teeth is that the good guys can shoot back whenever the bad guys show up to do harm. An important study published in 2009 by researchers at the University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine estimated that people in possession of a gun at the time of an assault were 4.5 times more likely to be shot during the assault than someone in a comparable situation without a gun.

“On average,” the researchers said, “guns did not seem to protect those who possessed them from being shot in an assault. Although successful defensive gun uses can and do occur, the findings of this study do not support the perception that such successes are likely.”

Now go read the whole thing.

[Posted by Mallory]

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i believe…we can be better.

One of the the portions of last night’s speech that had a huge impact on me:

But at a time when our discourse has become so sharply polarized — at a time when we are far too eager to lay the blame for all that ails the world at the feet of those who happen to think differently than we do — it’s important for us to pause for a moment and make sure that we’re talking with each other in a way that heals, not in a way that wounds.

I am guilty of the bolded far more often than I’d like to admit.

Watch Obama’s speech or read the full transcript here.

[Posted by Mallory]

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whatevma, i do what i want.

As I’ve discussed briefly here, I’m (with some hypocritical exceptions, no doubt) a firm believer that people should do what makes them happy — short of murdering strangers, etc. — and that the people who hate them for doing what they want to do and loving what they want to love should probably find other ways to occupy their time. It made me happy to learn that Jordan Reid agrees, and to read her kickass post on the topic (spurred, not surprisingly, by a holier-than-thou commenter). An excerpt:

When it comes to fashion, to literature, to art, to music, you love what you love; there are no absolutes. But the best way that these people have to make themselves feel awesome is to make sure that you know that your opinions are wrong. They make you feel scared to say that hey, you kinda like Hootie and the Blowfish, or that you think that rockabilly hairstyles are pretty cool, or that you enjoy reading paperback thrillers sometimes, because they’re going to laugh at you, and mock you, and otherwise shut you down. They’re going to tell you that your taste is terrible, that your job is unimportant, that your ideas aren’t good enough, that you chose the wrong life partner or house or diet or freaking dinner plate pattern.

And that is a crappy thing to do.

If you don’t read Jordan’s blog, Ramshackle Glam, you should start now. It’s one of the best — and certainly the most aesthetically pleasing — out there.

[Posted by Mallory]

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a monday night ogden nash quote.

Sassy, kinda.

“People who have what they want are fond of telling people who haven’t what they want that they really don’t want it.”
[Ogden Nash]

[Posted by Mallory]

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shake the dust: a thanksgiving poem.

Hope you all are snuggled up with your family and enjoying the day off! I’m snuggled up with the Mouse fam and I’m already stuffed full of cheese eggs and “making stuffing” (read: writing this post while Miss Mouse chops things). My high school was supposedly in the Macy’s Parade, but I didn’t see them, so I’m beginning to suspect I’ve been lied to.

Anywho, I heard this poem recently and I think it’s beautiful, and somehow appropriate for Thanksgiving. Hopefully you agree:

Gobble gobble.

[Posted by Mallory]

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barbara bush’s guide to artful insults.

While filming a segment for Larry King, Barbara Bush delivered quite the artful insult to Sarah Palin (yes, this was reported a few days ago, but I JUST got my new Macbook power cord!). It’s the kind of thing you shiver from when reading, because it’s just so icy cold. I’m not condoning this behavior, but should you ever find yourself needing to tear someone down without calling them names, here is Barbara Bush’s guide to delivering a slap that really stings:

1. Show that you personally know your subject, giving whatever you are about to say some sort of validation.  (“I sat next to her once “)

2. Pay a flattering compliment, but one that doesn’t insinuate any real intelligence or skill.  (“She was beautiful”)

3. Remark upon something fairly insignificant, reminiscent of small talk.  (“I think she’s very happy in Alaska”)

4. Insert verbal dagger. Twist. And laugh lightly or smile, to make it appear more pleasant. (“And I hope she stays there”)

In the world of political mean girls (Carly Fiorina, Meg Whitman, Sharron Angle, etc.), Barbara Bush just pulled a Regina George.

Perhaps the former FLOTUS got underneath Palin’s skin, but you know Sarah Barracuda. She doesn’t retreat, she reloads. It was reported today that she sent a team to Iowa to search for a 2012 campaign office. So about that whole staying in Alaska thing… probably not going to happen.

But did Barbara Bush win this round? You betcha.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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quote of the weekend, or something.

“I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.” —Douglas Adams

Will always be one of my favorites. And yay weekend! It’s amazing how productive a person can be when they aren’t hungover…

[Posted by Mallory]

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from the dnc: it gets better.

Okay, I know I already posted the YouTube clip of the day, but I can’t wait to post this. This makes me so, so proud to call myself a Democrat:

Nice work, DNC.

[Posted by Mallory]

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lohan claims a human rights violation.

Oh, LiLo. A few people have passed this my way already this morning. Lindsay is now saying the “f*** u” written on her fingernail was a just a joke, and it had nothing to do with her court appearance. It is almost unbelievable, at this point, that she isn’t smart enough to realize that she is under a microscope and something like that would be seen. Anyway, the Lohan believes all of this criticism is unfair, and that she has been subjected to cruelty, so she took to her Twitter account to clear things up.

She essentially claimed that her human rights had been violated, and tweeted Article 5 of the U.N. Universal Declaration of Human Rights. Yes, really.

No one shall be subjected to torture or to cruel, inhuman or degrading treatment or punishment.

And then she quotes law professor Erik Luna:

“November 1 marked the 15th anniversary of the U.S. Sentencing Guidelines. But there were no celebrations, parades, or other festivities in honor of this punishment scheme created by Congress and the U.S. Sentencing Commission… Instead, the day passed like most others during the last 15 years: Scores of federal defendants sentenced under a constitutionally perverted system that saps moral judgment through its mechanical rules.”

Well, we all know she’s wrong. And I have a smarty-pants friend that made logical points to counter Lindsay’s rambling:

a.  She’s referring to the wrong body of law- this is a GA assembly resolution- the universal declaration of human rights is not binding to the US.
b. The International Covenant on Civil and Political Rights is binding to the US.
c. Our own constitution protects against cruel and unusual punishment.

Celebrities! Who would we mock without them?

After that, she posted a link to the Newsweek story on Sakineh Mohammadi Ashtiani, an Iranian woman who will be stoned to death for adultery. Let’s all hope she isn’t comparing her situation to that human rights tragedy.

But in all honesty, I find it sad that LiLo’s delusional enough to think that she doesn’t deserve to abide by the court’s rules like the rest of us. Maybe this whole experience will do the girl some good. (But that’s been said before, right?)

[Posted by Kathleen]

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Filed under celebrities, cry face, definitely not politics, news, pop culture, random, thoughts, weird