Tag Archives: sarah palin sucks

barbara bush’s guide to artful insults.

While filming a segment for Larry King, Barbara Bush delivered quite the artful insult to Sarah Palin (yes, this was reported a few days ago, but I JUST got my new Macbook power cord!). It’s the kind of thing you shiver from when reading, because it’s just so icy cold. I’m not condoning this behavior, but should you ever find yourself needing to tear someone down without calling them names, here is Barbara Bush’s guide to delivering a slap that really stings:

1. Show that you personally know your subject, giving whatever you are about to say some sort of validation.  (“I sat next to her once “)

2. Pay a flattering compliment, but one that doesn’t insinuate any real intelligence or skill.  (“She was beautiful”)

3. Remark upon something fairly insignificant, reminiscent of small talk.  (“I think she’s very happy in Alaska”)

4. Insert verbal dagger. Twist. And laugh lightly or smile, to make it appear more pleasant. (“And I hope she stays there”)

In the world of political mean girls (Carly Fiorina, Meg Whitman, Sharron Angle, etc.), Barbara Bush just pulled a Regina George.

Perhaps the former FLOTUS got underneath Palin’s skin, but you know Sarah Barracuda. She doesn’t retreat, she reloads. It was reported today that she sent a team to Iowa to search for a 2012 campaign office. So about that whole staying in Alaska thing… probably not going to happen.

But did Barbara Bush win this round? You betcha.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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joe the plumber says he’s “horny”.

As much as I hate to contribute to it by writing about it, I’m always interested when Joe the Plumber manages to extend his 15 minutes of fame– even if only for a millisecond.  How on earth does he do it?!  Well this new JTP blip on the media screen is fairly hilarious.  Thank you WashPo’s The Sleuth for the important news!  Joe recently spoke at the Media Research Center’s “DisHonors Awards”.  I know you’re DYING to know what that is; it sounds gripping!  Apparently all the people who hate democracy get in one room to slam the liberal media.  Doesn’t that sound fun?  Umm…boooooooring.  So good old Joe the Plumber/Journalist gets up there to accept some bogus award about really sticking it to the socialists.  Naturally, the neocons are clapping for this pure paradigm.  He eloquently expresses his humble appreciation:

“God, all this love and everything in the room – I’m horny,” declared Joe, whose real name is Samuel Wurzelbacher.

And cue the chirping crickets.  Rawr?

When you get that special feeling, Joe, you should just go on home, slip into something more comfortable (but really, is there anything more comfortable than the JTP flannel shirt?  I don’t think so!), light some cheap smelling candles, pour yourself a fine glass of boxed wine and run a nice bubbly wubbly bubble bath for yourself.  But for the love of all things holy and sacred, DO NOT tell your sexually oppressed conservative friends how you feel!

I was going to go off on a HUGE multiple-paragraph tangent about the so-called liberal media but I’m going to keep this as short as possible…aka one paragraph.  Guess what, folks?  The liberal media smear is spin concocted to protect the Bush Administration and its followers from the press.  By turning the American people against the press, the news stories– which contained the truth — were seen as biased and became irrelevant.  But reporting on the horrors of war and unveiling the lies of the government is not liberal bias, it’s the job of the press.  Take Rachel Maddow and Keith Olbermann out of the equation now, please, because they have equal and opposite forces named O’Reilly and Hannity.  We’re talking about the journalists whose names you do not know.  There is an unspoken vow among journalists to bring the truth to the people– a sort of Hippocratic Oath, if you will.  Challenging and questioning a president, Congress, the government, or taking on the rest of the media?  That is their function in society.  If the media were so liberal, we would have had a Democratic president years ago.  Trust me.  I’m appalled that the liberal media excuse and tactic is still being used and people are still buying it.  (McCain lost.  Sarah Palin sucked.  Get over it.  It was their fault.)  Now that Obama is president, the press will do its job to report everything that goes on.  In fact, Obama seems to be losing the media fight when it comes to selling his economic plan, is he not?  Not so liberal afterall…And I’m spent!

Now back to the important stuff.  A most appropriate music video in honor of JTP:

And one last uber-serious thought:  Has Akon ever sang about something other than sexytime?

[Posted by Kathleen]

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palin pals around with democratic donkeys.

And by pals around, I mean wears them around her neck.  I can’t help but wonder if this was part of the $150,000 the RNC (AKA those who donated to the RNC–don’t you feel hoodwinked?) paid for.

The main point of this post was to point out how clueless Palin is.  I mean, the woman is legit wearing a scarf that screams vote Democratic.  (Where can I get me one of those?!)  Buuuut since I have your attention, let’s talk about that $150,000.

So much for being a small town hockey mom, eh?  That’s probably twice as much, if not more, than Joe the fake plumber makes in a year.  That’s more than a college education.  That’s health care for a small business.  That’s a ton of money to spend on clothes.

So I think the argument of Republicans being fiscally conservative is now thrown out the window.  Because, oh girl, some of those clothes…I could have gotten at Forever21 for twenty bucks.  And if I wanted to go “upscale”, I could still find them at Macy’s.  On sale.  Those clothes are pretty basic.  So we all know what the Republicans and Sarah Palin choose to do with their money.  They are not bargain shoppers.  I mean, look at the national debt.

What would you do with $150,000?  Where do your priorities lie?

How dare she talk about relating to Americans struggling to pay their bills and get their kids through school.  How dare she?  Oh doggone it, you betcha that Joe Six Pack doesn’t go on shopping sprees with the RNC’s plastic.

UPDATED:  From Politico, here is Johnny’s defense of the $150,000.

“She needed clothes at the time,” McCain told a group of Florida reporters.

And now, to add on to tragedy that is Sarah Palin, let me just attach a supposed copy of her report card and SAT scores, compliments of one of our DC correspondents.

OUCH.  Baby girl didn’t even break a thousand.

Sorry for ranting a bit.  I’m all fired up.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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bird pulls a “gotcha” on reporter.

Evil Sarah Palin commanded her one of her bird minions to drop some shiz in the mouth of a liberal “gotcha” mainstream media reporter.  Hilarity ensues.

Sarah and her birdie friend:

If I can make a Disney reference, I’m going to…alright?

[Posted by Kathleen]

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kathleen parker thinks palin really sucks.

As a Democrat, I usually disagree with most everything Republican columnist Kathleen Parker says.  But she’s right about Sarah Palin.  Palin is out of her league here.  Parker admits that it’s hard to give up on a fellow Vagina-American, but Palin must do what’s right and step down.  It’s alright, K.  If Sarah Palin was a man she’d still be unqualified.

Since I do not want to dedicate ANY more of my personal words and energy to Sarah Palin, I am providing a link to this piece.  Plus, it’s good to read the words from a Republican, rather than my obviously biased (but would be AWESOME) summary.  It’s healthy.  Go on, read it.

http://article.nationalreview.com/?q=MDZiMDhjYTU1NmI5Y2MwZjg2MWNiMWMyYTUxZDkwNTE=

Oh, alright.  Here’s the link to the MISERABLE yet enlightening Katie Couric interview:

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2008/09/25/eveningnews/main4479062.shtml

[Posted by Kathleen]

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palin wants to be on top.

On top of the ticket, that is.  Here she is at a rally yesterday talking about “a Palin and McCain Administration”.  Errr…ummm…pssst, Sarah.  Sarah?  When you are running for the number two spot (God save us all), you usually put the presidential nominee’s name first and then your own.  It’s just common courtesy.

How tacky.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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i’d choose barbie over sarah palin.

Oh wooohoooo.  Now you can buy a Superhero Sarah Palin doll.  Umm, that’s great.  Since this election is no longer about issues and rather that Palin is a Vagina-American and is hot in the Tina Fey way, let’s be superficial for a minute.  Who wants a supposedly feminine doll with G.I. Joe man thighs?  Come on guys, Barbie’s got better legs for sure.

See?

Intimidated by the Thunder Thighs Palin doll?  (Yeah, me too) Try this one–naughty school girl Sarah Palin.

Yet again, I’d choose Barbie.  Or better yet, the one responsible for bringing back the naughty school girl image–the one and only, Britney Spears doll.

Yup, she’s better than Palin too.

Here is the final Sarah Palin doll the company, http://www.herobulder.com, offers.  Vice Presidential Sarah Palin:

Well, Barbie one-upped Sarah Palin in two ways here.  First, Barbie is running for Prez and second, Barbie looks FABULOUS.

That was fun, but let’s take it back to the issues.  I bet Barbie would stand up for the rights of women more than Palin.  I bet Barbie would support birth control and a woman’s privacy, I bet Barbie wouldn’t make women pay for their own rape kits, I bet Barbie wouldn’t make Skipper have the baby even if she was raped, I bet Barbie wouldn’t be on a ticket with Ken if he didn’t support equal pay for women…okay…you get my point.

Really, I’d take Barbie over Sarah Palin.

Oh, and one more thing.  These dolls are on sale.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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