Category Archives: money

superbowl ads going conservative this year?

If you are like me, you watch the Superbowl to eat unlimited snack foods, drink some beers and watch the commercials.  I may pay attention for the first quarter or so, but then I eat, drink and socialize until the commercials come back on.  And it’s glorious.

This year, it looks like CBS may be putting a conservative spin on the commercials. Uber-religious Tim Tebow and fam will be featured in a “Celebrate Family, Celebrate Life” ad discussing how Tebow’s mom’s doctors in the Philippines suggested she had have an abortion when she fell ill while she was pregnant with Tim.  [Spoiler alert!] she didn’t.  The ad has been paid for by Focus on the Family, who’s founder has said that gay marriage will “destroy the Earth.”  Ugh.

On the other hand, CBS rejected an ad from mancrunch.com, a gay dating website.  “After reviewing the ad, which is entirely commercial in nature, our standards and practices department decided not to accept this particular spot,” said CBS spokeswoman Shannon Jacobs.  Jacobs also said the ads were practically sold out when they reviewed mancrunch’s concept, where two men passionately make out after their hands brush on their way to the chip bowl.  Riiiiight.

Come ON CBS.  I want more commercials like this:   Not ones that take a stand.

Regardless, I’ll be there on Superbowl Sunday, solo cup in hand, covered in chip crumbs, just waiting it out until the next commercial.

[Posted by Shannon]

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do not pass go! stop cheating!

I'm repulsed.

To celebrate the 75th anniversary of Monopoly, the world’s most monotonous and dragged out board game, Hasbro has decided to punish us all by taking away the only thing that made it interesting … the cheating.  Goodbye dear, sweet, corrupt banker.  Hello micro chip and credit cards! No, I am not making that up.

According to pocket-lint, the new version is round and the coveted role of the banker is played by a soulless electronic console in the middle.  Noooooooooo!

No more cold hard cash when you pass Go. No more making it rain a rainbow of dollars to celebrate your minor successes.  Devastating!  It’s all credit now.  So when you do pass Go, you get $200 in credit, which you are supposed to invest in low rent properties?  Credit card companies are arguably just as corrupt as banks, if not more so, and HAVE YOU SEEN THE MARKET THESE DAYS? I digress.

It’s not like I was a huge fan of Monopoly– but as I’ve mentioned before, it did show me that I’m bad at math and hate business, so there’s some value to that.  It’s more that I hate it when companies try to modernize their most iconic products.  I nearly went off the deep end when they changed the game of Clue!  Poor Professor Plum is now a nerdy gamer. Alas, the winds of change are blowing and it’s giving me a chill.  On the bright side, Miss Scarlett remains skanky.

So for the sake of nostalgia, let’s play the old version before it’s too late.

I’ll be the banker!  And I want to be the wheel barrow.

[Posted by Kathleen]

Note: I missed blogging.  And the thought of not blogging the Olympics/my love for Apolo Anton Ohno made me depressed.  I’m back.  Again.

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man, i just love stupid criminals.

A man, who had just been released from the hospital for injuries from a domestic dispute (aka his girlfriend hit him with a frying pan and a table leg), stole $50 from her at a local Walmart and attempted to escape on one of their motorized scooters.  He didn’t get away.  The end.

And while looking for an image for this post, I came across this little gem.  It’s called the “CruizinCooler.”  Jackpot.

[Posted by Shannon]

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quarters to spare? anyone? pretty please?

Let’s talk for a bit about how strange and awkward I am. So the washer and dryer in my building only take quarters (yeah, those kind still exist), and this always presents a bit of a conundrum for me because I, um, have yet to get signed up with a bank in DC. I know, it’s not smart and I’m wasting money on ATM fees and yada yada, but it’s the truth. This means that when I need quarters, I can’t just go to the bank and get a roll; instead, my strategy is to go begging at various CVS’s and grocery stores. For the most part, this has worked just fine. Occasionally I have to go to a few stores, but with a couple dollars here and there and the quarters I find in my purses, I can manage.

Today did not go so smoothly. I first go to the CVS across the street and the lady is like,”Sure thing! I can give you a dollar!” Um, lady? It’s 2009! It costs $1.25 to do ONE load of laundry. And rather than begging her for more, I sheepishly walk away. Then I move on to the Dunkin’ Donuts next store. They have donuts! They must be nice! As I’m waiting in line, I decide that I should probably order an iced coffee, because that’s what people order from Dunkin’ Donuts, right? The problem is that I don’t drink coffee, so I paid three dollars for a drink I can’t finish, and THEY HAD NO QUARTERS. Boycott your local Dunkin’ Donuts! Don’t listen to Rachael Ray! Also, anyone want this?

i hate you iced coffee

When you’re on your way over to pick up the coffee, feel free to pick me up an iPhone so that I can upload normal-looking photos to my blog. Thanks!

After the Dunkin’ Donuts attempt, I decide to take a break, throw in the two loads of laundry I can afford, and smoke a cigarette. (Okay, I don’t smoke. But if I did I would have totally smoked a cigarette right then.)

My next stop was Safeway. Club soda, sure! I need club soda! As I wait in line to buy my club sode, I prepare my pity plea, and when I get to the register, I lay it on Danny: “Um, hi sir! I have a favor to ask! You see, I really need to do laundry, and see, I’ve been begging all of these stores for quarters, and no one will give me any. Look, I didn’t even want this iced coffee, haha! [Shakes iced coffee in Danny’s face.] So, um, if I give you some cash, will you give me some quarters??” And Danny’s all, “Sweetheart, you know that if you give ten dollars to the Customer Service lady, she can give you a roll of quarters?” And I’m all, “HALLELUJAH SAFEWAY IS MY NEW FAVORITE STORE!!!”

I walk over to the Customer Service lady, a 60-something woman, and she’s cold teasin’ me and says, “Aw Danny said I could give you quarters? Only for a fee!” And my natural response is, “I’ll give you a kiss!”

REALLY, Mallory? You’ll give the woman a kiss? Really?

Moral of the story: sometimes, when I whore myself out for quarters, I end up hitting on grandmothers. Happy Friday to you too!

[Posted my Mallory]

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Filed under adventures, money, post-college depression

youtube clip of today: attn #7.

If you don’t know about these already, I haven’t been doing my job.  And for that, I am sorry.  I find these to be HILARIOUS.  Here is the seventh installment of Auto-Tune the News.  Hopefully you find it half as funny as I do.  Oh, and below is the sixth installment, which is by far my favorite (Sarah Palin makes an appearance).  The rest can be viewed here!

[Posted by Kathleen]

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trina sues college…because she’s unemployed.

moneyTrina Thompson, like millions of Americans, is unemployed.  But instead of revamping her resume, or going to a job fair, she came up with a different idea.  She decided to sue her alma mater, Monroe College, for $70,000.  Seventy thousand dollars,  by the way, was the cost of her Bachelor’s Degree.  In other words, she wants her money back because she doesn’t have a job.

Trina, darling, it’s not the school’s fault you can’t get a job.  It probably isn’t your fault either.  Times are tough.  But wasting taxpayer dollars on a silly court case so you don’t have to continue looking for a job and living off settlement money is just ridiculous.

Recession sucks, but we’re going to get out of it.  Until then, Trina, do what the rest of us did– start a blog!

Read the story HERE.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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this guy is no john dillinger.

MarkEarlWhite.jpgMark E. White was only trying to make his getaway after robbing the bank in Saginaw, Michigan.

According to the news story, Marky Mark had just gotten out of the slammer three weeks earlier when he decided to rob the Citizens Bank.  He was successful, and two blocks later tried to hitch a ride.  He flagged down a car… which happened to be an unmarked police car.  Needless to say, he was caught.

Now Mr. White, I am not a criminal — nor do I have any plans to ever become one– but I’m pretty sure that if I was, I’d make sure I arranged my transportation ahead of time.  Maybe that’s just me.

Ah, stories about dumb criminals.  It makes you feel just a little bit better about your Monday morning, no?

[Posted by Kathleen]

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