Tag Archives: weird news

trina sues college…because she’s unemployed.

moneyTrina Thompson, like millions of Americans, is unemployed.  But instead of revamping her resume, or going to a job fair, she came up with a different idea.  She decided to sue her alma mater, Monroe College, for $70,000.  Seventy thousand dollars,  by the way, was the cost of her Bachelor’s Degree.  In other words, she wants her money back because she doesn’t have a job.

Trina, darling, it’s not the school’s fault you can’t get a job.  It probably isn’t your fault either.  Times are tough.  But wasting taxpayer dollars on a silly court case so you don’t have to continue looking for a job and living off settlement money is just ridiculous.

Recession sucks, but we’re going to get out of it.  Until then, Trina, do what the rest of us did– start a blog!

Read the story HERE.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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drug bust from her stuffed bust.

This has nothing to do with the post, I just thought it was hilarious.  And it's Friday.

This has nothing to do with the post, I just thought it was hilarious. And it's Friday.

Ahh, stuffing your bra.  It’s a rite of passage.  Most people use toilet paper (or something similar… not that I’d know) but a unnamed 37-year-old Georgia woman had a different plan.  She stuffed her bra with a pound of meth… worth about $13,000.

Okay, so maybe her intentions weren’t to make herself look bustier.  Perhaps her intentions were to hide the drugs after getting pulled over for a traffic violation.  I don’t know. (Lie. I do, in fact, know.)  Just speculating.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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batman to sue batman. confusion ensues.

Holy identity theft, Batman!  The mayor of Batman, Turkey, Hüseyin Kalkan, is going to sue Christopher Nolan– director of The Dark Knight (Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeath! Wahhhh!).  The reason?  Over use of the name, Batman.  No, seriously?  Can someone please tell Mayor Kalkan that Batman has been around since the 1930s?  So suing the director of the most recent film…not that logical.  Thanks.  But whatever.  Could this story get any more absurd?

Kalkan also blames a series of unsolved murders and a high female suicide rate on the psychological impact suffered by the town after being placed under the spotlight by Nolan’s film. In addition, Batman expats living abroad have experienced legal issues when trying to use the name to set up businesses, he claims.

Yup. It just did.  You know, maybe the Turks should stop naming their cities after OUR superheroes.  Yes, I’m talking about you Wonderwoman, Turkey and Aquaman, Turkey.  I jest, I jest.

I think the real problem is that the city of Batman NEEDS a Batman to solve its problems.  Suing Batman is not the way to get on his good side, Mayor!  You’ll never get a Bat Signal.  Or, call me crazy here…but instead of suing a major movie studio that will probably win the case, you should put your city’s funds towards crime prevention…

What are your thoughts?

[Posted by Kathleen]

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little house on the prairie. rawr?

Let me paint a picture for you.  It’s a lazy Saturday, you’re slothing on a couch in Finland, nursing a hangover with your besties.  You decide that watching an entire television series in one day is crucial to your Saturday plan.  After much discussion, you and your friends unanimously decide on the classic series, LIttle House on the Prairie– based on the classic books by Laura Ingalls Wilder.  So you walk down the streets of Helsinki to the nearest video store.  You check the childrens’ section.  Alas!  NOTHING.  The TV series section.  CURSES!  Then you see the back room…you know the one…the one that has the naughty movies. And there it is…on the shelf.

Yes, it’s true.  If you want to watch Little House on the Prairie in Finland, you have to find it with the suitable for adult viewing only videos.

Why?  Is there something XXX rated that we just never saw?  Nope.  Well, it’s a long series and checking the videos cost over two bucks per minute.  So they decided to bypass that all together.  Good plan, guys.

“Long series can get quite expensive to check, and some use this exemption in the law to their advantage,” said Matti Paloheimo, Director at the Finnish Board of Film Classification.

“Such unchecked material should not be shown to children publicly,” he added.

Publicly as in the reruns that the Finns apparently can’t get enough of?  According to the Reuters story, the show is still popular in Finland and there are reruns every week on one of the state owned TV stations.

I’m going to refrain from making tasteless jokes about what happens in little houses on the prairie, but I think you get the point.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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ernie chambers sues god, gets smited.

According to the AP, Ernie Chambers,  a state senator from Nebraska, filed a permanent injunction against God. Why in all of God’s great goodness would he do a thing like that?

He said God has made terroristic threats against the senator and his constituents in Omaha, inspired fear and caused “widespread death, destruction and terrorization of millions upon millions of the Earth’s inhabitants.”

And what do you think happened to him?  Locusts, struck down by lightening, etc.  The usual.  Okay so God didn’t smite him, but Ernie C’s lawsuit against God was thrown out by the judge.  Why?  Because God doesn’t have an address, duh.  Judge Marlon Park said, “Given that this court finds that there can never be service effectuated on the named defendant this action will be dismissed with prejudice”

But Ernie the heretic went to law school.  (But never took the bar exam.) So he had a response to that too– “Since God knows everything, God has notice of this lawsuit.”  Well played, Ernie.

Apparently Ernie is a rebel in the state senate.  He doesn’t go to morning prayer.  If Ernie was a Catholic school girl, he’d totally be the slut that rolled her skirt.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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michele is udderly insane. get it?

Michele Allen was just trying to have a normal Saturday night.  So she ended up in a cow suit, chasing children, peeing on porches and getting arrested  Needless to say, she was schwasted.

(Middletown, OH) — Saturday night, people in the 3100 block of Wilbraham Road called police to report a woman wearing a cow costume was chasing kids, and blocking traffic. Michele Allen also allegedly urinated on the porch of one neighbor.
When officers arrived, they told her to go home. But later that night, they found her again, in the 2400 block of Verity, standing in traffic. This time, officers say, Allen smelled of alcohol and swore at them.
She was arrested and charged with disorderly conduct.
Allen plead guilty, Monday morning, in Middletown Municipal Court, and sentenced to a month in jail.

This is a true story.  Apparently, she showed up to the hearing still in costume.  Haha!

Many questions come up when one thinks about this story.  Oddly enough, the first thing that came to my mind was how did she pee?  From the udders?  Or did she pop a squat and break character?  DC correspondent Chris raised a couple of other good questions.  Was she drunk before she put on the cow costume?  Or did she get drunk and then decide to frolic about in a cow costume?

I question her judgment either way.

Silly Michele.  If you had only waited until Halloween, you probably could have gotten through the night at least without being arrested.  Hell, scaring children in a cow costume while drunk and peeing on buildings that don’t belong to you might even be considered normal–at least on a college campus.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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i’d kill for bigger boobs, mom.

Here’s a good story for you.  Eighteen year old Nikita Lee Weis wanted to kill his mother.  Why?  So he could sell her stuff, and get the money to buy his girlfriend bigger boobs, duh.  Awwww!  How selfless of him!  His mother, Hyun Weis, was attacked with a baseball bat in her house on Thursday.  She spent one night in the hospital, but she’s okay.  But the police have arrested Nikita, the two kids he hired and his flat-chested girlfriend Sophia Nicole Alsept on suspicion of conspiracy to commit first degree murder.

So Nikita is a boobs man?

Really though, let’s take a second to acknowledge the absurdity of this.  This kid wants his girlfriend’s rack to be bigger badly enough that he would kill his mother?  Back in the day, when I used to say that I’d kill for bigger boobs, I didn’t mean it.  It was HYPERBOLE.  And hello, Sophia?  If that man buys your tatas he’s going to think that he owns them. Girrrrrrrrl that’s not good.  Especially if he kills his mama over them.  Just saying…

Children these days.  Geeeeeez.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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