Michele Allen was just trying to have a normal Saturday night. So she ended up in a cow suit, chasing children, peeing on porches and getting arrested Needless to say, she was schwasted.
(Middletown, OH) — Saturday night, people in the 3100 block of Wilbraham Road called police to report a woman wearing a cow costume was chasing kids, and blocking traffic. Michele Allen also allegedly urinated on the porch of one neighbor.
When officers arrived, they told her to go home. But later that night, they found her again, in the 2400 block of Verity, standing in traffic. This time, officers say, Allen smelled of alcohol and swore at them.
She was arrested and charged with disorderly conduct.
Allen plead guilty, Monday morning, in Middletown Municipal Court, and sentenced to a month in jail.
This is a true story. Apparently, she showed up to the hearing still in costume. Haha!
Many questions come up when one thinks about this story. Oddly enough, the first thing that came to my mind was how did she pee? From the udders? Or did she pop a squat and break character? DC correspondent Chris raised a couple of other good questions. Was she drunk before she put on the cow costume? Or did she get drunk and then decide to frolic about in a cow costume?
I question her judgment either way.
Silly Michele. If you had only waited until Halloween, you probably could have gotten through the night at least without being arrested. Hell, scaring children in a cow costume while drunk and peeing on buildings that don’t belong to you might even be considered normal–at least on a college campus.
[Posted by Kathleen]
six words to change the world. 
Now, I’m no cow expert (though I am, obviously, a huge beef fan), but I don’t think that even real cows pee from their udders… I think they’re just for milk, unless they have the same kind of 2-function deal that penises have (which also continues to baffle me).
Good point, I guess a cow peeing through the udders would be like saying a woman peeing through her nipples. Now that is a golden shower to think about ladies.
She pleaded guilty? Cow-ard. It would have been much more fun if she stood there with a straight face in her costume and said, “no, that wasn’t me. You’ve got the wrong person.”
Can you imagine the line-up? “You there, Bessie, third from the left, moooove forward.”
Michele just be tryin’ to get her moo on is all. I dunno why folks got to front so hard on us fellow bovine fetishists. Her little udder was tight though.