Tag Archives: college

youtube clip of today: college acceptance.

A high school senior gets his acceptance letter to the University of Richmond.

We know how exactly you feel. SWTCTW welcomes you to the club, kid!

(Cross posted at everythingisavesselforgoatcheese)


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Filed under blogging, education, humor, post-college depression, YouTube

itunes genius just might be racist.

I’m a big fan of the Genius feature on iTunes, and I’m also a big fan of the country music. For those of you still left without modern technology, Genius is basically like Pandora (is that like using the word to define the word?), but using your own music. You can select a song and the Apple Gods magically find other songs of a similar genre, and voila, a playlist! It’s a great trick, and normally makes me some kickass playlists. But on this country kind of day, I selected a Darius Rucker song as my starting point, and things got a little weird. Here’s the playlist iTunes made for me:

Click to make it bigger.

For those of you who don’t know, Darius Rucker is a country singer these days, and before that he was the lead singer of Hootie & the Blowfish. Still, somehow, iTunes confused my buddy Darius for a mediocre R&B singer from the ’90s/early 2000s. Which is both disappointing and totally racist. Just saying. If this were Pandora, the explanation would have been “To start things off, we’ll play a song that exemplifies the musical style of Darius Rucker, which features…aw shit, never mind, this is just a list of other black dudes singing, with some J.Lo thrown in for good measure.”

But on the bright side, now you guys get a taste of some of the embarrassing music that I never listen to but keep on my iTunes because one day I just might want to have a middle school dance theme party, and that would require a soundtrack filled with Monica and TLC. I’m a girl who likes to be prepared.

In other news, I’m about to head to relive my college days with my little sister, who just turned 21. Wish me luck, and let’s hope I don’t slip into a post-college depression and begin sobbing every other drink. That might ruin the mood.

[Ed. Note: This is SWTCTW’s 800th post! Cwazy! Thanks for sticking with us for this long.]

[Posted by Mallory]

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Filed under humor, music, post-college depression, weird

you went to school for what?!


I always hated when you’d ask someone what their degree was in and they’d say something like “procrastination” or “drinking”.  Oh, haha, good joke, you are HILARIOUS.  But imagine if you asked someone what they got their Master’s in and the response was “The Beatles”–and they weren’t making lame attempts at wit!  That’s awesome!  No seriously, you can get a Master’s Degree in “The Beatles, Popular Music and Society” at Liverpool Hope University in England.  Ummm.  Sign me up! 

Here is the AP story:


LONDON — The city of Liverpool already has a Beatles museum and its airport is named after John Lennon. Now a local university says it rolling out a graduate program entirely devoted to the Fab Four.

Liverpool Hope University said Tuesday that its new master’s program, “The Beatles, Popular Music and Society,” would give students the opportunity to analyze music and culture through the band’s work.

“There have been over 8,000 books about the Beatles but there has never been serious academic study and that is what we are going to address,” said Mike Brocken, who is directing the program at the university, which is in the band’s hometown in northwestern England.

Brocken said students would be expected to study the Beatles’ songs, stardom, hometown and cultural impact through four 12-week courses and a dissertation.

Brocken said studying the band was really a way of examining society as a whole.

“If popular music is about anything, it’s about people,” he said. “If we look at popular culture, it simply provides us with a very complex mirror of ourselves.”

 I think I just found the answer to the quarter life crisis.  

Paul McCartney, no joke, was my first celebrity crush.  Of course, I was smitten with the young Paul McCartney.  I was also devasted when I realized the pictures were in black and white because they were taken 40 years earlier.  Wahhhhhh.

Imagine the classes you could take!  Please leave comments with your wittiest/best effort Beatles inspired class name.  (I won’t judge you as long as it’s not like “Drinking and Procrastinating to the Beatles!”  But–side story– I did, in fact, have a Beatles pregame once.  Or thrice.)

[Posted by Kathleen]



Filed under blogging, celebrities, crushes, definitely not politics, history, music, pop culture, post-college depression, random

some humor for your hump day.

Okay, okay.  So it’s no Hump Day Cry Face.  But this video should make you feel a leeeeeeetle better.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

It gets better each time.  I love the “Oh God. NO NO NO!”  Thanks, Collegehumor.com.  Even though I’m no longer in college, my humor has not matured.

If that video didn’t help you out and you’re still Cranky McCrankster, have no fear.  Just tell people that you are participating in National Grouch Day.  Which, according to Sesame Street Magazine, today is.

“A Grouch’s mission in life is to be as miserable and grouchy as possible, and pass that feeling on to everyone else. Only then will a Grouch feel in touch with his or her world and be happy.”

This post is done, OKAY?  GO AWAY.  NOW LEAVE ME ALONE.

I jest.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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Filed under definitely not politics, humor, news, pop culture, random, thoughts, weddings, YouTube

buy me a ticket to europe.

Here is what I have been doing for the past few hours: eating my weight in goat cheese, bread, and pizza; watching trashy TV shows like America’s Next Top Model and Project Runway (totally digging Kenley again, by the way); drinking red wine with my girlfriends; and realizing as I do every day that DC is a pretty baller place to live. Randomly, I just ran into my friend Camille and her new gentleman friend on my street corner, which was wonderful and serendipitous, and in a mere three hours my favorite Asian in the world will be arriving on my doorstep like a gift from God. Basically, I’m pretty damn happy right now. 

Here is what I have been doing for the past three weeks: ignoring the Hump Day Cry Face. See, I started to think that people didn’t really care anymore. And maybe most of you are saying, “Um what is the Hump Day Cry Face and why should we care?” And that’s fine. But two of you — Kathleen and my dear friend Jed — truly care about the good ol’ CF, and I cannot just let it go. (It’s like this voicemail message my family has had for over a decade: it’s me singing a little ditty I made up all by myself when I was like twelve, and most of our friends are so over the message and want us to change it, but every so often someone will call and tell us that the voicemail made their day. So we kept it, because making someone’s day every few months is totally worth it. Cry Face is worth it too.) 

Ahem. Without further ado (or babbling), and in honor of Camille, Walsh, and Western Europe…

And yes, in that third photo, we ARE on top of the Eiffel Tower, thank you for asking.

[Posted by Mallory]


Filed under adventures, cry face, drinks, family, fashion, food, humor, post-college depression

michele is udderly insane. get it?

Michele Allen was just trying to have a normal Saturday night.  So she ended up in a cow suit, chasing children, peeing on porches and getting arrested  Needless to say, she was schwasted.

(Middletown, OH) — Saturday night, people in the 3100 block of Wilbraham Road called police to report a woman wearing a cow costume was chasing kids, and blocking traffic. Michele Allen also allegedly urinated on the porch of one neighbor.
When officers arrived, they told her to go home. But later that night, they found her again, in the 2400 block of Verity, standing in traffic. This time, officers say, Allen smelled of alcohol and swore at them.
She was arrested and charged with disorderly conduct.
Allen plead guilty, Monday morning, in Middletown Municipal Court, and sentenced to a month in jail.

This is a true story.  Apparently, she showed up to the hearing still in costume.  Haha!

Many questions come up when one thinks about this story.  Oddly enough, the first thing that came to my mind was how did she pee?  From the udders?  Or did she pop a squat and break character?  DC correspondent Chris raised a couple of other good questions.  Was she drunk before she put on the cow costume?  Or did she get drunk and then decide to frolic about in a cow costume?

I question her judgment either way.

Silly Michele.  If you had only waited until Halloween, you probably could have gotten through the night at least without being arrested.  Hell, scaring children in a cow costume while drunk and peeing on buildings that don’t belong to you might even be considered normal–at least on a college campus.

[Posted by Kathleen]


Filed under adventures, blogging, definitely not politics, fashion, humor, news, pop culture, random

hooray! frat slaps are getting classier.

For me, the thought of boxed wine brings to mind frat slaps (and subsequently the worst night of my entire college career) and the general lack of classiness that goes hand in hand with drinking in college: cheap beer shotgunned in a dorm shower; shots of Aristocrat chased by vending machine Diet Coke; shady water bottles smuggled into any and every event. Ah, don’t you miss it? 

During my senior year of college, my roommates and I gravitated toward the super classy glass jug of Livingston Farms Blush Chablis, but I am no stranger to boxed wine. According to this New York Times article, boxed wine is becoming more common and more popular, partly because it is a heck of a lot better for the environment:

More than 90 percent of American wine production occurs on the West Coast, but because the majority of consumers live east of the Mississippi, a large part of carbon-dioxide emissions associated with wine comes from simply trucking it from the vineyard to tables on the East Coast. A standard wine bottle holds 750 milliliters of wine and generates about 5.2 pounds of carbon-dioxide emissions when it travels from a vineyard in California to a store in New York. A 3-liter box generates about half the emissions per 750 milliliters. Switching to wine in a box for the 97 percent of wines that are made to be consumed within a year would reduce greenhouse gas emissions by about two million tons, or the equivalent of retiring 400,000 cars.

Pretty cool, right? Of course, there are plenty of people who would never resort to boxed wine (the horror!), like one dude who commented on the article and wrote: “Utter lunacy. I’ll buy wine in a box on the Tenth of Never.” Oh calm down sir! It’s not as if we’re asking you to do an ice luge in a tuxedo. Perhaps because I’m sort of poor and still drink like a college student, I think this is all pretty great. A decent boxed wine gets you more bang for your buck, is better for the environment, and has a longer shelf life. And now that boxed wine is getting sort of trendy and necessary, nicer wines are starting to become available in boxed form. Maybe you don’t want to be served from a box at a restaurant (…resisting immature joke), but why not pass around the plastic bag at a casual dinner party with friends? 

Anyway, next time you’re spinning in circles chugging directly from a bag of Franzia while your friends cheer you on, remember this: you’re not just blacking out; you’re saving the environment.

[Posted by Mallory]

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Filed under drinks, news, post-college depression

i paid for the full minute.

Okay so I know I said there wouldn’t be a lot of posts this weekend, but as it turns out, something’s come up. Something very important. Kelsey just showed me a video of herself that somehow I’ve never seen, and I think it deserves to be shared with the world. The setting is Prague, and the videographers are two British strangers that Kelsey and Sarah met (please note their brilliant commentary). The British strangers have encouraged the girls to take shots of absinthe without using their hands. Enjoy:

My favorite part is that Sarah initially just ignores Kelsey’s pain and finishes her shot. That’s friendship right there.

[Posted by Mallory]

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Filed under adventures, drinks

what ever happened to family legacies?


May I rant?

Apparently, while Pierogi Zbylut was collecting acceptances to every elite school in the country, said elite schools were busy rejecting the rest of the qualified students out there, those students with names containing less z’s. One of the elementary school friends from the Rockies game has a little sister who’s headed off to college next year, and this girl’s college-rejection story makes me truly furious with the way our country deals with college admission. My friend’s sister — let’s call her Emily — was rejected from Dartmouth. Nothing shocking on its own; I’m among the ranks of prospective Ivy Leaguers who was flat-out rejected from the Big Green. Emily, however, was the the valedictorian of her high school (one of those truly hard high schools that have difficult admissions processes all their own), was a successful two-sport athlete who was being recruited by Dartmouth, was involved in a million activities, AND had a father, sister, and several cousins whose brains were filled with knowledge in Hanover, New Hampshire. Now I understand as much as anyone that the college admissions process is a crapshoot, and that there are a ton of factors that go into it, but SERIOUSLY? If a girl like that isn’t a shoe-in, something’s wrong. Maybe Pierogi can pass his Dartmouth acceptance on to Emily, since he won’t be needing it at Haaahvahd.

For a speech class I took a couple of years ago, I spoke about kids growing up too fast (taking full-time language classes at age four, for instance), and I feel like the college admissions process is just part of the screwed up way we are forcing kids these days to do everything and be perfect. A high school student shouldn’t have to spend all of her free time studying for AP tests, captaining a sports team, working on a student government campaign, volunteering with refugees, and curing cancer just to get into college. Give ’em some time to breathe, America. 

And to the Emily’s of the world: it’s their loss. Anyway, I hear New Hampshire’s like really, really cold.

[Posted by Mallory]

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Filed under post-college depression, random

nerd alert: accepted to all ivies.

I’ve got one thing to say to this guy: FREAK.

He moved from Poland just 5 years ago. But whatever, kid. You might have gotten into the entire Ivy League and a million other good schools (for sure the University of Richmond, heyyyyy) but this doesn’t change the fact that your name (Lukasz Zbylut) is going to get butchered by every professor you meet- just like the rest of us!

I also suffer from post-college depression and am taking it out on this defenseless, but brilliant, child. Do not judge me.

PS- He chose Harvard.

[Posted by Kathleen]


Filed under crushes, post-college depression, random