Sooo my friend Jed is really funny (and my best Cry Face Ambassador, as evidenced in lots of places on the blog that I can’t link to because I’m at work and they block everything about my blog except the dashboard) and you should watch this video. He’s huge in Japan:
I was walking home from happy (four) hour(s) tonight and happened to be checking my phone (while still totally being aware of my surroundings, and being very tall and intimidating to robbers and rapists) and I saw that I was tagged in a photo. And it was a Cry Face photo. And it’s Wednesday. And guys, it was a sign. So for this week, and hopefully for a while, I’m resurrecting Hump Day Cry Face. (I know. You don’t believe any of my promises anymore. But for at least this week, I swear I’ll stick to it.) Thanks to the Yangster, here you go:
See that? See how Cry Face ruins the whole photo? That’s power, man. And you know what else is power? Being able to get the entire cast of a teevee show to do Cry Face:
That’s right. Cry Face is officially famous. They ripped me off, but it’s okay because I finally started watching Modern Family and that shit is GOOD. (“This is my Vietnam. And I was IN Vietnam.”)
In other news, I got the mail just now and happened to notice that the latest issue of Health (which my mother sends me, thankyouverymuch) has Hilary Duff on the cover. HILARY DUFF! She was famous like ten years ago for Lizzie McGuire — a totally awesome show, clearly — and has been riding that wave ever since. It’s all very confusing for me, and that means it’s time for me to get in bed.
Goodnight, children…we have a few things in the pipeline, so don’t give up on us yet!
Hey guys! Remember me? I’m Mallory, and I sometimes blog here. It’s been a while, I know. But don’t worry, between the Catholic guilt (it is Lent, after all), and harassment from “fans” like Scott and Mike, I feel PLENTY bad about not writing. ARE YOU HAPPY NOW, SCOTT AND MIKE?
Since it’s been two weeks since I’ve written, I don’t even know where to begin. There’s the Olympics, and the killer whale attack, and the Vajazzler, and the fact that I attended an adult birthday party at Medieval Times last night, dressed as a medieval pirate (and the fact that it was kind of amazing).
There’s also this:
And yes, that’s old — St. Patty’s Day of last year, as you might have guessed — but I was recently tagged on Facebook, and it reminded me how much I love my friends, and Cry Face, and this here blog.
Speaking of things I love, I’m kind of obsessed with this Postal Service cover of “Against All Odds”:
All that said, I have a proposal: in honor of the Olympics, and Phil Collins, why don’t we pretend that I don’t suck at updating my blog, and instead just hold hands and forgive each other (read: you forgive me)? Work for you? Good. I’m back, and I promise, I’m going to be better.
Guys, did you think I forgot the Hump Day Cry Face??? That could be because I almost did, but it’s only before midnight here in fair D.C., so there’s still time! And I’ve got a good one for you. Here’s the description this week’s Cry Facer sent along with her photo:
This gem was captured via iPhone in a McDonald’s I had to drive TWENTY min off the highway to because I was lost but NEEDED it.
There’s more to that story, but I’m a good friend and will keep that to myself. Onto the photo:
She’s phenomenal, right? I planned to link to another photo of this fine lady doing another excellent CF, but turns out I haven’t posted it yet! I’m both ashamed of myself and thrilled that I have another gem to post, maybe next week. It’s like a double cheeseburger, but of CRY FACES.
Guess how long it’s been since a Hump Day Cry Face? A MILLION YEARS, that’s how long. Many people in my life have been reminding me that I suck at promoting my own Cry Face cause by doing a way better job than me of promoting my Cry Face cause. (This month, I’m bad at blogging and Cry Face. It can only go up from here!)
I’ll post some photos of my most loyal supporter next week, but this week, let’s take a look at an amateur Cry Facer, who was educated by some of the best fake best friends from home ever. I’ve been told that he wants to remain anonymous because he is an extremely important person, so let’s ignore silly things like names and focus instead on the CF:
Aw, Cry Face, I’ve missed you. Thanks to the original Critters for the tip and the constant support. When Cry Face makes it into an a book that sells at Urban Outfitters, you’ll get a shout out.
It’s me, Kathleen, your long lost backpacking blogger. I’m back from South America and I look tan! Wooohooo! I went to five countries in 32 days, had “stomach issues” and saw flamingos. Some other stuff too, I guess. Now this is going to sound lame, but one of the things I missed most while away was writing for this blog. Obviously though, M and M held down the fort quite well. In fact, I’m happy to still have a “job” with this blog. And a job it will be, because I still do not have a real one. Haha.
It’s good to be back!
Oh, and just because it’s Wednesday, here is a special edition South American adventure Machu Picchu hump day cry face. (Yes, it was taken with a timer. What of it?):
You end a sentence/phrase with a preposition, your AP English teacher has a heart attack. You arrange a sentence/phrase so that it doesn’t end in a preposition, you sound like an elitist douche. When given the choice, I’ll obviously go for the latter.
Anyway, seeing that Madeline (the “guest” slash obviously permanent blogger) has beat me to breaking our dry spell, I was overwhelmed with Catholic guilt. Friends, it’s not that I haven’t wanted to blog in the past few days. I really have. It’s just that I’ve been too overwhelmed with work, to the point that blogging would have caused me even more Catholic guilt. So I cut my losses.
Now that I’m home on break, I have a little more time on my hands. In light of the upcoming holiday o’ food, I’ve decided to share a random list of some things for which I am thankful. In no particular order…
1. Stovetop stuffing. And while we’re at it, the cranberry sauce that looks like the can in which it came (now I’m super paranoid about the preposition thing, dammit). We’re not exactly fancy in my family.
2. Michael Franti. I saw him for the first time back in July, and I fell further in love with him when I saw him at the 9:30 Club in DC last Wednesday. Even if you think you wouldn’t like his music, I’d encourage you to go to one of his concerts. He has an amazing ability to put on the BEST SHOW EVER. His energy is just unbelievable. It didn’t hurt that he made me laugh, made me cry, and made me chant “Barack Obama” all in the span of three hours. And perhaps most impressively, Mr. Franti makes me feel like I’m a good dancer, even when I’m sober (!!!). Take a look at my favorite song off of his newest album:
If you don’t like that song, you should probably just give up on life. You clearly don’t have a soul.
3. While we’re thinking about him, Barack Obama. And Michelle, Malia, and Sasha. Also Joe and Jill Biden.
4. That my finger didn’t entirely fall off today at the nail salon. The entire story would call for a blog post in itself, but I’ll just say that it involved a bloody electric buffer, a sadistic manicurist, and sanitation standards that would have made a cockroach shudder.
5. My ability to entertain myself. My friend Rachel thinks that I could have my own reality show because of the embarrassing shit I do in the privacy of my own space. I’m not sure I agree with her (although, hey, people do watch The Real Housewives of Atlanta), but I am grateful for this skill of mine. The other day, for instance, I caught myself singing “99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall.” Out loud. In a British accent. Riiiight.
6. That I’m not pregnant.
7. That I’m not morbidly obese. (I honestly think about this on a daily basis.)
8. Goat cheese, breakfast sandwiches, salsa, bourbon, etc. etc.