Did they seriously make “Where the Wild Things Are” into a movie? (Let me answer my own question: yes, they did.) Are you okay with this?! (I’m clearly struggling with it.) What are your thoughts? It seems kind of dark and twisty…
So yesterday I’m just driving along, listening to my beloved iPod, when “Hand In My Pocket” by my beloved Alanis comes on. This time, however, was different from the 500,000 other times I listened to it. I still sang poorly and confused the verses, but this time the song really resonated with me. I mean REALLY resonated. So I put that shiz on repeat. Alanis and her harmonica were slaying me. Then it hit me. Uh oh. I am now an angsty 20-something and Alanis’ music actually applies to me. (And everyone else, but you know what I mean.)
I began to evaluate my life. I’m very happy, yet emo at the same time. I’m with someone who finds my jokes tolerable (I’m funnnnny!), I’m working on a campaign (trying to be an agent of change and save the world) and living at home (if you live at home post-college, there is no explanation needed), going to South America post Election Day (backpacking around in hopes of finding some adventure), and hopefully going to grad school next fall (read: I’m not entirely sure what I want to do in life other than see the world and blog. But this will buy me some more time. Kidding…kind of.)
But who cares? No big deal. I want mooooooooooooooooooooooooooore.
That being said, I come up with a new plan every day. Two days ago, I decided I wanted to become an alpaca farmer. Seriously. I saw some Alpacas at a local fair and fell in love with the little bucktoothed buggers. They’re completely heinous and totally hilarious. What can I say? I have an affinity for inner beauty. I took a picture of one. He is my new muse:
I’m all over the place. Just tonight I have looked at jobs with National Geographic, HuffingtonPost, and political consulting firms. Three weeks ago I envisioned myself moving to Seattle. Who knows? Maybe tomorrow I’ll decide to go to med school. Or maybe I can just get a pair of scrubs and pretend…
While this is definitely my quarter life crisis, I don’t think it’s unhealthy. I’m in no real hurry. I am, in fact, only 22–although I feel like a dinosaur when I get Facebooked by people born in the 1990s. I’ve still got a lot of questions that need to be answered. Like, what is a fire, and why does it…what’s the word…burrrrrrrrrrrrn. (That’s two Little Mermaid references in one post. Heyyyyo.)
When I do settle down, I’ll be ready for it. And like I said before, I’m happy right now. I’d try and describe how I feel some more (it’s half my blog I can talk about feelings all I want!), but hey, Alanis puts it best.
And what it all boils down to
Is that no one’s really got it figured out just yet
’cause I’ve got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is playing the piano
And what it all comes down to my friends
Is that everything’s just fine fine fine
’cause I’ve got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is hailing a taxi cab.
Due to my post-college depression, I don’t like change. Except when it comes with a healthy dose of hope and a large helping of Barack Obama. Haha. But you know what I mean. I feel myself especially threatened emotionally when staples from my younger years are changed. When I learned that Hasbro is totally changing the game of Clue, I immediately found myself drowning my sorrows in a box of Cheez-Its while whining “I’m so olddddddd” to my poor dog. I not crazy, I swear.
Clue is very near and dear to my heart! It was one of the few board games that I could actually win as a child. Monopoly taught me at a young age that I was miserable at math and business, but Clue, ah Clue– Clue made me feel as if I could one day work for the C.I.A. I was just THAT GOOD at finding out who killed Mr. Boddy in what room with what weapon.
According to the AP, the new Clue is updated to fit in with “tabloid culture”. I love me some tabloids, but geeez louise, keep it out of my board games.
The six characters’ last names remain the same, but their first names and bios have been updated. For example, Miss Scarlet is now Kasandra Scarlet, a famous actress often featured in tabloids. And Mr. Green is now Jacob Green, an African-American “with all the ins.”
HAHA oh man. “With all the ins”. What does that possibly mean? Hmmm. I wonder if he makes his final accusations in ebonics? One of my favorites, Colonel Mustard is now Jack Mustard, an ex-football player. Professor Plum is now a video game designer. I’m not making that up. How are we supposed to feel smart playing this game if our characters have gotten dumber?! And here is the greatest part of all, each character now has a special power to help them solve clues. LIke superhero powers? WHAT ABOUT MY SHARP AND NIMBLE MIND?! Ahh this is too much to handle. But wait, there’s more. No more revolver, lead pipe or wrench–instead we have a dumbbell, trophy or poison. Poison? Ehh, alright. Giving us Chuck Norris’ right leg would have been more practical than a dumbbell. Now there’s a weapon.
Clue has even gotten nouveau riche on us. There’s now a spa, theater and a guest house. Mr. Boddy’s classy, beautiful mansion wasn’t good enough. They made it a McMansion!
They are taking the original Clue off the shelves this fall. Go get it now, or forever be burdened with this travesty.
RIP Colonel Mustard. You will be missed. Here he is, in all his glory.
I can think of only one positive thing to say about this whole ordeal. Perhaps with this new version Miss Scarlett will finally be the slootbag we all knew she was/wanted her to be. Perhaps.
He moved from Poland just 5 years ago. But whatever, kid. You might have gotten into the entire Ivy League and a million other good schools (for sure the University of Richmond, heyyyyy) but this doesn’t change the fact that your name (Lukasz Zbylut) is going to get butchered by every professor you meet- just like the rest of us!
I also suffer from post-college depression and am taking it out on this defenseless, but brilliant, child. Do not judge me.