Not only do I want a baby pig, I now also want a baby monkey. They can be friends. Hey, did you know Christmas is 39 days away? (Hint hint.)
[Posted by Kathleen]
Category Archives: animals
youtube clip of today: baby monkey.
Filed under animals, babies, definitely not politics, humor, music, pop culture, random, weird, YouTube
youtube clip of today: parrot dance.
Would someone mind telling me why I find the following video so entertaining? I mean, I just don’t love “Whip My Hair.” In the same way I’m creeped out by Justin Bieber, I can’t get over the fact that I’m listening to a NINE YEAR OLD sing about whipping her hair back and forth. That said, I cackled through this whole thing:
Happy Halloween weekend, little monsters!
[Posted by Mallory]
youtube clip of today: panda swag.
This video is frighteningly entertaining:
File under: Animals and Children That Have More Rhythm Than I Do.
[Posted by Mallory]
youtube clip of today: merengue dog.
This dog is decidedly a better dancer than I am:
But does anyone else find it a leetle creepy that this dude is getting all saucy with a golden retriever? (Or that this is being filmed in a strip mall parking lot with a bunch of the dancing man’s friends dressed up in ponchos from Party City?) Either way, thanks for the tip, Potski!
[Posted by Mallory]
because everyone loves looking at puppies.
First, puppies casually being perfect:
And, second:
Oh, yeah, that’s just an adorable monkey carrying an adorable puppy away from a fire after a pipeline explosion in China. My heart can’t take that shit!
Speaking of shit, the girl next to me at work listens to the radio during the day. When you listen to the radio during the day, you hear some of the same songs over and over, like Katy Perry’s “California Gurls” [Ed. Note: really, with the “gurls”? How does that add to the song?]. I have heard “California Gurls” at least four times today, and while I used to enjoy the song for its airy pop wonderfulness, I’m starting to hate it. Four times in eight hours is way too many times. (But ask me again when I’ve been drinking, and dancing.) You really should read this, though.
I’m trying to blog more, kids. I really am! Send me good, motivational vibes. And funny things.
[Posted by Mallory]
i laughed so hard i cried.
This was passed along to me in the form of an email forward from an A-MAZING FAN-TASTIC Chicago correspondent. Seriously though, the six word title is no joke. I was in tears probably for twenty minutes because of this. I obviously passed it along to everyone I know. My buddy quickly became obsessed with it (and the popularity it brought him in the office), so he started digging around a bit. Well, it wasn’t just an email passed along. In fact, this comes from David Thorne, who is a well-known internet humorist. I have no doubt that this email exchange is real though– creating humor in every day life is kind of his thing. You can find more hilarity on his website, 27b/6. Okay, enough with the introductions. Read every word. Get ready to laugh.
From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.15am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Poster
Hi
I opened the screen door yesterday and my cat got out and has been missing since then so I was wondering if you are not to busy you could make a poster for me. It has to be A4 and I will photocopy it and put it around my suburb this afternoon.
This is the only photo of her I have she answers to the name Missy and is black and white and about 8 months old. missing on Harper street and my phone number.
Thanks Shan.
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.26am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Poster
Dear Shannon,
That is shocking news. Luckily I was sitting down when I read your email and not half way up a ladder or tree. How are you holding up? I am surprised you managed to attend work at all what with thinking about Missy out there cold, frightened and alone… possibly lying on the side of the road, her back legs squashed by a vehicle, calling out “Shannon, where are you?”
Although I have two clients expecting completed work this afternoon, I will, of course, drop everything and do whatever it takes to facilitate the speedy return of Missy.
Regards, David.
From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.37am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Poster
yeah ok thanks. I know you dont like cats but I am really worried about mine. I have to leave at 1pm today.
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.17am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Poster
Dear Shannon,
I never said I don’t like cats. Once, having been invited to a party, I went clothes shopping beforehand and bought a pair of expensive G-Star boots. They were two sizes too small but I wanted them so badly I figured I could just wear them without socks and cut my toenails very short. As the party was only a few blocks from my place, I decided to walk. After the first block, I lost all feeling in my feet. Arriving at the party, I stumbled into a guy named Steven, spilling Malibu & coke onto his white Wham ‘Choose Life’ t-shirt, and he punched me. An hour or so after the incident, Steven sat down in a chair already occupied by a cat. The surprised cat clawed and snarled causing Steven to leap out of the chair, slip on a rug and strike his forehead onto the corner of a speaker; resulting in a two inch open gash. In its shock, the cat also defecated, leaving Steven with a foul stain down the back of his beige cargo pants. I liked that cat.
Attached poster as requested.
Regards, David.
From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.24am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster
yeah thats not what I was looking for at all. it looks like a movie and how come the photo of Missy is so small?
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.28am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster
Dear Shannon,
It’s a design thing. The cat is lost in the negative space.
Regards, David.
From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.33am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster
Thats just stupid. Can you do it properly please? I am extremely emotional over this and was up all night in tears. you seem to think it is funny. Can you make the photo bigger please and fix the text and do it in colour please. Thanks.
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.46am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster
Dear Shannon,
Having worked with designers for a few years now, I would have assumed you understood, despite our vague suggestions otherwise, we do not welcome constructive criticism. I don’t come downstairs and tell you how to send text messages, log onto Facebook and look out of the window. I am willing to overlook this faux pas due to you no doubt being preoccupied with thoughts of Missy attempting to make her way home across busy intersections or being trapped in a drain as it slowly fills with water. I spent three days down a well once but that was just for fun.
I have amended and attached the poster as per your instructions.
Regards, David.
From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.59am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster
This is worse than the other one. can you make it so it shows the whole photo of Missy and delete the stupid text that says missing missy off it? I just want it to say Lost.
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.14am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster
From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.21am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster
yeah can you do the poster or not? I just want a photo and the word lost and the telephone number and when and where she was lost and her name. Not like a movie poster or anything stupid. I have to leave early today. If it was your cat I would help you. Thanks.
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.32am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Awww
Dear Shannon,
I don’t have a cat. I once agreed to look after a friend’s cat for a week but after he dropped it off at my apartment and explained the concept of kitty litter, I kept the cat in a closed cardboard box in the shed and forgot about it. If I wanted to feed something and clean faeces, I wouldn’t have put my mother in that home after her stroke. A week later, when my friend came to collect his cat, I pretended that I was not home and mailed the box to him. Apparently I failed to put enough stamps on the package and he had to collect it from the post office and pay eighteen dollars. He still goes on about that sometimes, people need to learn to let go.
I have attached the amended version of your poster as per your detailed instructions.
Regards, David.
From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.47am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Awww
Thats not my cat. where did you get that picture from? That cat is orange. I gave you a photo of my cat.
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.58am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Awww
I know, but that one is cute. As Missy has quite possibly met any one of several violent ends, it is possible you might get a better cat out of this. If anybody calls and says “I haven’t seen your orange cat but I did find a black and white one with its hind legs run over by a car, do you want it?” you can politely decline and save yourself a costly veterinarian bill.
I knew someone who had a basset hound that had its hind legs removed after an accident and it had to walk around with one of those little buggies with wheels. If it had been my dog I would have asked for all its legs to be removed and replaced with wheels and had a remote control installed. I could charge neighbourhood kids for rides and enter it in races. If I did the same with a horse I could drive it to work. I would call it Steven.
Regards, David.
From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.07pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Awww
Please just use the photo I gave you.
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.22pm
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww
From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.34pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww
I didnt say there was a reward. I dont have $2000 dollars. What did you even put that there for? Apart from that it is perfect can you please remove the reward bit. Thanks Shan.
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.42pm
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww
From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.51pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww
Can you just please take the reward bit off altogether? I have to leave in ten minutes and I still have to make photocopies of it.
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.56pm
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww
From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 1.03pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww
Fine. That will have to do.
—-
You’re welcome.
[Posted by Kathleen]
Filed under animals, humor, pop culture, random, Uncategorized, weird
youtube clip of today: kitten’s hat.
Ur hat iz stoopid.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: love kittens, hate cats. Why is it that cute kitten videos are always entertaining?
Hope your Monday was as productive as mine!
[Posted by Kathleen]
newest olympic mascots will haunt dreams.
I don’t know why, but people get super excited about the Olympic mascots. I’ve written about them before— and here I am again. So move over, 1996 Atlanta mascot Izzy. Move over, Fuwa, the 2008 Beijing mascots. Ladies and Gentlemen, the new Olympic gold medal winners of fug: Wenlock and Mandeville, the official mascots of the 2012 London Olympic games. Feast your eyes on these!
Somebody PLEASE make the first openly gay Olympic mascots joke, so I don't have to.
Yikes! You might be asking yourself, “What the friggity frig are those?” The article from the Guardian does its best to explain:
The pair are based on a short story by children’s author Michael Morpurgo that tells how they were fashioned from droplets of the steel used to build the Olympic stadium.
Droplets of steel, you say? Well, alright. How… abstract.
Maybe it’s because I’m 24 now (wahhhh) and an old lady, but I don’t really understand the necessity for these new-fangled Olympic mascots. Is the torch not enough for us? If you think I’m wrong, please let me know. Maybe I’m the only one that fails to see the value in a duo of one-eyed, flippered, Nickelodeon-show-reject, don’t-look-if-you-have-epilepsy monstrosities.
Consider your dreams haunted, readership! You’re welcome!
In other news, guess what? Today is Wednesday, which means tomorrow is Thursday, and that’s the day before Friday! Huzzah!
[Posted by Kathleen]
Filed under animals, celebrities, humor, news, pictures, pop culture, sports, thoughts, Uncategorized, weird
a monday roundup of random stuff.
Just a friendly reminder, courtesy of PostSecret.
GUYS. Guess what? I’m officially done with grad school. Do you know what that means?! I’ll tell you: I get to wear a hood and stand out in the sun wearing polyester on Friday, and I get my nights and weekends back. Let’s celebrate with a collection of assorted finds from the Internets:
- From HuffPo, proof that most people shouldn’t have children and a picture of tiny baby hedgehogs.
- From NYT, a bizarre story about how people aren’t allowed to wear pajamas in public in Shanghai anymore. Kind of makes me want to wear my flannel nightgown to run to the grocery store, just to celebrate my freedom.
- From my new favorite music blog, I Am Fuel, You Are Friends, a free 32-song mix that you should download immediately so that it can be the soundtrack to your summer. (Stomp, clap. STOMP CLAP.)
- And finally, a graphic that rates the trustworthiness of different kinds of facial hair. Never gets old. Beards for LIFE.
Happy Monday, everyone! And a happy belated birthday to co-blogger Kathleen! I think we successfully proved this weekend that your mid-twenties don’t really have to be any different from college. Thank goodness for that.
[Posted by Mallory]
six words to change the world. 
