Guys, I know. I have posted like four times in the past year, Kathleen is officially Internet dead, I’ve missed 18 Google Holidays, all I post is videos, OUR PETS’ HEADS ARE FALLING OFF. But I don’t know…it’s hard to get out of a blogging rut! I don’t know how people with jobs and babies and stuff manage to blog and also exercise and feed themselves. It’s amazing!
My little sis just posted a link to this video on my wall, and it made me realize that I still haven’t posted this on the bloggy! I have, of course, seen it about a million times. (Sorry Mads…you’re way out of the loop.) When I recently visited Miss Mouse in NYC, we lounged in her bed and watched this maybe five times in a row. And then the day after that, I watched it about five times in a row with Debbie and Kels. I just can’t get enough. So if you’re like Maddy and have been living under a rock slash hiding from the world under your lima bean hat, allow me to introduce you to Marcel the Shell with Shoes On:
I thought after I graduated from college, I would become less of a Facebook fiend. Sadly, I’m in my sophomore year after graduation and I probably spend more time on the social networking black hole than ever.
I enjoy cyber-stalking on Facebook just as much as the next guy, but there are several types of Facebookers that drive me absolutely insane. This article categorizes them perfectly. Without a doubt, the Sympathy-Baiter is by far the worst, followed closely by the Chronic-Inviter.
By the way, if you read this article and believe yourself to be none of the above, there is a good chance that you are all 12.
The weekend is within our grasp, friends! Here are some quick and things to look at before you go out for a raging Friday night and Mallory and I roadtrip to New Jersey for a conference with some of our bloggy correspondents (aka our best friends from college…minus a few. You’ll be missed!)
Facebook is turning five years old, and we haven’t gotten tired of it yet. Check out this piece (I may or may not know the journo behind it.) and DEFINITELY watch the video to see a 96-year-old man talk about the single most devastating factor to my college GPA. Click HERE to read the story!
This is weird. All 14-year-old Corby Cowart wanted to do was taste the rainbow. His mother said yes, and he went to grab a bag of Skittles and he found a bag of cocaine in the Skittles box. Yikes. He said he knew what it was because he watches the TV show “COPS”. Dammit, I HATE IT when stupid shows on the teevee actually teach kids stuff. (Please refer to the story about Grayson Wynne) According to Corby and his mama, the manager of the CVS laughed it off. Seriously? The manager disputes the claim. Of course.
Don’t copy that floppy! A hilarious old video to prevent the young folk from copying computer games on the floppy disks. Stunningly bad acting, floppy disks and a Fresh Prince style rapper? Yup, welcome back to the 90s.
Katie Holmes made her much anticipated “So You Think You Can Dance” appearance last night. BORING. Honestly, all she did was walk around and occasionally twirl. And the lip syncing was out of control. Not impressed.
Despite the fact that I write for a blog that often focuses wacky celebrity gossip, and despite the fact that I’m a young person with plenty of access to and knowledge of technology, I often entirely miss major pieces of pop culture news. As in, some things on “I Love 2009” will be totally new to me. A few recent cases in point: I’m just starting to know the words to “Just Dance” — don’t talk to me about “Poker Face,” because I don’t know that I’ve heard it. I also don’t understand some basic Facebook commands. Yesterday, whilst Facebooking stalking (that I know), I clicked some button that was apparently the wrong button to get where I wanted to go. And I was flat out mocked by my companions, including my sister, who told me that she was ashamed to be related to me.
I’m not super concerned about things like this. I know that Lady GaGa wears weird apparatuses (apparati?) on her head, and I know how to use Facebook to find out which of my middle school friends are knocked up. That’s about all I need. But I have been hearing an awful lot about this movie called Up. In the past 24 hours or so, a bunch of people have been talking about it, and it’s gotten to the point where I can’t pretend to understand the references anymore. (Comments like “Oh, ha ha, yeah, the dog with the talking collar” or “Right, houses tied to balloons, genius” only work for so long.)
Being the modern day Nancy Drew that I am, I YouTubed that shiz, and here’s what I found:
Now, while that preview is cute, it doesn’t exactly make me want to leave work early, pick up some Red Vines, and run to the nearest theater to see the movie. I do have faith in Pixar, though (like Google and Mac, they seem to never screw up), and comments on Rotten Tomatoes are astonishingly good. And if the movie can make me cry within the first 15 minutes, as one Rotten Tomatoes commenter said Up did for her, you know I’ll be an easy sell.
In case you haven’t figured out Facebook yet, here is a quick guide to Facebook etiquette. You might get a little chuckle out of this. It’s quite silly, and because Facebook is so deeply embedded in our culture now, you will at the very least be able to relate to it a little. Sorry I haven’t been posting much! That changes today!
Oh man, white people love musical comedy. Now I’m personally not a huge fan of musical comedy, but something about this music and the visual is entertaining. Enjoy.
Given the content of this video, it’s no surprise that the dude, Corey Vidal, is wearing obnoxious t-shirts from ads that tend to interrupt a serious facebook sesh. And just so the intellectual property is protected, I feel obligated to tell you that Corey isn’t actually singing, but he does a fairly hilarious job pretending to. The actual a cappella group is a few dudes that call themselves Moosebutter. Cool name?
(Side note: Alicia, I’ve found you a husband! This guy can lip sync the theme songs from all of your favorite movies!)
And ummm…I just remembered how the theme song to Jurassic Park might be one of the most beautiful pieces of music ever. EVAH. Will I pay 99 cents for it on iTunes tonight? You know it.
So yesterday I’m just driving along, listening to my beloved iPod, when “Hand In My Pocket” by my beloved Alanis comes on. This time, however, was different from the 500,000 other times I listened to it. I still sang poorly and confused the verses, but this time the song really resonated with me. I mean REALLY resonated. So I put that shiz on repeat. Alanis and her harmonica were slaying me. Then it hit me. Uh oh. I am now an angsty 20-something and Alanis’ music actually applies to me. (And everyone else, but you know what I mean.)
I began to evaluate my life. I’m very happy, yet emo at the same time. I’m with someone who finds my jokes tolerable (I’m funnnnny!), I’m working on a campaign (trying to be an agent of change and save the world) and living at home (if you live at home post-college, there is no explanation needed), going to South America post Election Day (backpacking around in hopes of finding some adventure), and hopefully going to grad school next fall (read: I’m not entirely sure what I want to do in life other than see the world and blog. But this will buy me some more time. Kidding…kind of.)
But who cares? No big deal. I want mooooooooooooooooooooooooooore.
That being said, I come up with a new plan every day. Two days ago, I decided I wanted to become an alpaca farmer. Seriously. I saw some Alpacas at a local fair and fell in love with the little bucktoothed buggers. They’re completely heinous and totally hilarious. What can I say? I have an affinity for inner beauty. I took a picture of one. He is my new muse:
Cute, right?
I’m all over the place. Just tonight I have looked at jobs with National Geographic, HuffingtonPost, and political consulting firms. Three weeks ago I envisioned myself moving to Seattle. Who knows? Maybe tomorrow I’ll decide to go to med school. Or maybe I can just get a pair of scrubs and pretend…
While this is definitely my quarter life crisis, I don’t think it’s unhealthy. I’m in no real hurry. I am, in fact, only 22–although I feel like a dinosaur when I get Facebooked by people born in the 1990s. I’ve still got a lot of questions that need to be answered. Like, what is a fire, and why does it…what’s the word…burrrrrrrrrrrrn. (That’s two Little Mermaid references in one post. Heyyyyo.)
When I do settle down, I’ll be ready for it. And like I said before, I’m happy right now. I’d try and describe how I feel some more (it’s half my blog I can talk about feelings all I want!), but hey, Alanis puts it best.
And what it all boils down to
Is that no one’s really got it figured out just yet
’cause I’ve got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is playing the piano
And what it all comes down to my friends
Is that everything’s just fine fine fine
’cause I’ve got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is hailing a taxi cab.
Forbe’s released their list of the top 400 wealthiest people in the universe yesterday. The list, which says marital status, is like a guidebook for golddiggers! (Though I suppose if you are a real golddigger, you don’t care what their marital status is.) And guess who was on it? Marky Mark Zuckerberg! He is the youngest person on the list–he’s 24–and has a sweet 1.5 billion dollars. Damnnnnn. I wish I had created something as addictive as Facebook from my dorm room too. Most of the time in my dorm room was spent watching Law and Order with our South Korea Correspondent. And it was awesome.
So when I was looking at pictures of MZ (just in case I ever run into him), something struck me about this photo.
See it? Haha.
Rumor has it that Mark has a girlfriend, Priscilla Chan, who also works on Facebook. Oh well. I hate the new Facebook anyway.
Perhaps I can set my sights on Beanie Babies founder Ty Warner. He’s apparently single. Kiddddding.
six words to change the world. 