do not pass go! stop cheating!

I'm repulsed.

To celebrate the 75th anniversary of Monopoly, the world’s most monotonous and dragged out board game, Hasbro has decided to punish us all by taking away the only thing that made it interesting … the cheating.  Goodbye dear, sweet, corrupt banker.  Hello micro chip and credit cards! No, I am not making that up.

According to pocket-lint, the new version is round and the coveted role of the banker is played by a soulless electronic console in the middle.  Noooooooooo!

No more cold hard cash when you pass Go. No more making it rain a rainbow of dollars to celebrate your minor successes.  Devastating!  It’s all credit now.  So when you do pass Go, you get $200 in credit, which you are supposed to invest in low rent properties?  Credit card companies are arguably just as corrupt as banks, if not more so, and HAVE YOU SEEN THE MARKET THESE DAYS? I digress.

It’s not like I was a huge fan of Monopoly– but as I’ve mentioned before, it did show me that I’m bad at math and hate business, so there’s some value to that.  It’s more that I hate it when companies try to modernize their most iconic products.  I nearly went off the deep end when they changed the game of Clue!  Poor Professor Plum is now a nerdy gamer. Alas, the winds of change are blowing and it’s giving me a chill.  On the bright side, Miss Scarlett remains skanky.

So for the sake of nostalgia, let’s play the old version before it’s too late.

I’ll be the banker!  And I want to be the wheel barrow.

[Posted by Kathleen]

Note: I missed blogging.  And the thought of not blogging the Olympics/my love for Apolo Anton Ohno made me depressed.  I’m back.  Again.

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2 Comments

Filed under blogging, humor, money, news, pop culture, random, thoughts, weird

2 responses to “do not pass go! stop cheating!

  1. Mallory

    Um. UM. UM! My friend Anne and I used to play Monopoly (or Colorado-oply) together all the time. (Because we were nerds and had no friends.) The whole point was that we cheated our faces off. We both sort of knew that the other cheated too, but that was the fun of it! This is totally unacceptable. The only game that’s ever benefited from modernization is Catchphrase, because you don’t have to spend the time replacing the cards yourself when you starting repeating clues. And lord knows that’s important when you’re playing for an entire weekend. (Beach Week, anyone?)

  2. Madeline

    The good news is that I can FINALLY beat my grandfather. I was embarrassingly old when I realized he had been cheating every single time we played. Bring it, Dada!

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