As much as it pains me to give one more second of publicity to the Jersey Shore kids, I feel obligated to post this… I did chuckle a bit. And as BuzzFeed put it, “Snooki’s acting shows way more range than Kristen Stewart’s.” See for yourself, readership!
[Posted by Kathleen]
Filed under blogging, celebrities, definitely not politics, humor, movies, pop culture, sex, TV, weird, YouTube
Gaga’s new video for “Alejandro” was released today on the Youtubes, and I just had to watch it. (Me and my roomsies are huuuuuuge fans.) From the very start, let me just say that I get a leeeetle irked with musicians who are so popular they think I want to watch a 9+ minute music video of them lip syncing (“Thriller” excluded, obvi.). Before I go on any more, feast your eyes on this!
This is one of those things where you have to sit back and wonder– is she trying to make a social statement or is she desperately trying to remain culturally relevant by being weird?
First scene: a commentary on gays in the military? Also, she looks like Johnny Depp. Then there is the usual shocking scene that is sure to get every “pro-family” group (hey, did you see THIS?!) denouncing practically everything, where she simulates sex in nude undies! Yawn, Gaga. It’s been done. Cue the religious symbolism montage! A commentary on the oppression of women in the Catholic church, or a “Like a Virgin” rip-off? COME ON. Annnnnnnd then she is a fembot. Normal. That’s happened before, too. To sum up the rest of the video: sex, sex, gay men, sex, allusions to religion, sex, Gaga trying to have sex with gay men, fembot, obligatory rockstar scene with cool side angles and sun glasses, Gaga ooh la la, machine gun boobs, ambiguous social conflict scenes, sex. Oh, and sex!
I think I have some Gaga-trying-to-shock-me fatigue. But that song sure is catchy. ALE-ALE-JANDRO. ALE-ALE-JANDRO.
[Posted by Kathleen]
Thank you, GQ, for this brilliant and way too entertaining chart. (Click to enlarge)
I love how it connects Sarah Silverman, Jimmy Kimmel, Matt Damon and Ben Affleck. Remember that?
[Posted by Kathleen]
Filed under blogging, celebrities, humor, music, news, pictures, pop culture, sex, Uncategorized, weird
I don't know what bothers me more, the !!!! or the comic sans font. Whatever, TGIF.
It’s freaky Friday, y’all. While only one of these stories is really freaky, it’s so freaky that it dominates the non-freaky stories. Let’s just get to the point:
Have a wonderful weekend everybody! I hope your daily dose of weird was satisfying. More and longer posts next week, I promise. XOXO.
[Posted by Kathleen]
Lady Gaga is actually a fembot.
Filed under blogging, celebrities, dance, fashion, humor, music, pop culture, random, sex, six word memoirs, thoughts, weird
Oh boy, here we go.
So after many months of wondering what this whole Google Reader thing was, I decided to set up my page. For good measure, I threw in a bundle of celebrity news sites. And what a day for celebrity news! In case your Google Reader isn’t set up yet, or you don’t stalk celeb blogs, guess what?! Leighton Meester, best known as Gossip Girl‘s Blair Waldorf, has a sex tape. And it’s not with Chuck Bass. According to Perez and the Superficial and Pink is the New Blog and all of our faithful celeb bloggers, a couple-year-old sex tape of Leighton Meester is allegedly available online. My office computer is blocking most of the links, but it appears that this is pretty legit. Feel free to try to investigate a little more yourself. The Superficial has photos, and Tyler Durden’s linking to something, but I can’t even access his blog because it’s adult content. Ha.
I mean, I suppose something scandalous like this was bound to happen with someone from the GG cast. My typical frustration with stuff like this — and especially with stars who get all riled up when something scandalous is released — is, “If you are even moderately famous, why would you even consider making a sex tape of any kind? It WILL get out. So if you make one, be prepared for it to go viral. That’s just the way it works.” But with Ms. Meester, I almost feel sorry for her. She appears to have made this thing way before she was famous, and now it’s going to become this huge scandal and her grandma will think she’s a whore, or something. She couldn’t really have seen that coming. (That’s what she said?)
We here at SWTCTW still love you, B!
[Posted by Mallory]
Filed under celebrities, news, pop culture, sex, TV
Hello, SWTCTW readers! Here is Chris’ weekly SYTYCD update!
Mallory brought up an interesting point – which is that some people may not be familiar with the summertime awesomeness that is SYTYCD. I’m not really sure how this could be the case and I’m too frightened to explore the deep dark world in which this scenario could be possible. So, taking her hypothetical point to heart, I’ve prepared a quick tutorial based on the dancing kid video she posted last week.
During the first weeks of the show, we are entertained with audition footage from various locations around the country. (Please resist any obvious comparisons here to American Idol.) If they were to audition for the show, Mallory’s dancing kids – we will call them Suzy and Steve because Mallory once told me how much she likes those names – would have stood in line at one of the audition spots, awaiting their big break. I think it is clear to all of us that Steve is really the shining star of the pair. Suzy is cut, her SYTYCD career is over. Now for Steve. He has got good musicality, but does he have what it takes to compete? Steve gets put in the choreography group to see if he can learn and perfect a routine with other dancers. He’s good, but I doubt we will be seeing him in Vegas. There’s not much for a 5-year old to do there anyway. That’s basically how the selection process works.
The four hours of SYTYCD we got this week marked the end of this audition process. Tyce Diorio is one of the judges for one of these auditions. Tyce is normally a choreographer for the show, and we saw this week that he is apparently a bitchy queen. You may think this is harsh, so to back myself up, cue bitchy queen montage (at exactly 30 seconds):
But enough about Tyce. One kid in the Los Angeles auditions named Nathan was probably one of the most impressive male auditions of the season. The problem: he is 17 and you have to be 18 to participate. The judges were so taken by his performance they gave him a ticket to Vegas for next season when he is eligible. Nathan was followed by a Stacy who literally danced like she had stuck her finger in an electrical socket. No ticket for Stacy. She should call Suzy to commiserate.
I will leave you all for this week with Sex. No, this isn’t a joke. And he was back this season as well… in a dance-off.
I realize there are no clips of good dancing in tonight’s post. Fret not, readers. We have an entire summer of SYTYCD watching together.
[Posted by Chris, via Kathleen]
Of all the ridiculous things I’ve read today, this trumps them all.
Poor Tyler Frost. All the senior in high school wanted to do was escort his lady love to her sinful, pagan public school prom and maybe move in sync to the musical stylings of Taylor Swift, and whatever Godless slow-jam-last-dance song those high school kids are listening to these days. And his school suspended him.
That’s because Tyler’s school, Heritage Christian School in Ohio, forbids dancing, rock music, and fun. IT’S JUST LIKE THE MOVIE FOOTLOOSE! It doesn’t specifically say fun, but whatev. Might as well. But you know, there are other reasons as well. Here is part of the statement from the school’s principal, Tim England:
In the Old Testament, Joseph was in a place of temptation and he fled. Unlike this situation, he didn’t put himself in that place. Proverbs 4:23 says, “Keep your heart with all diligence for out of it are the issues of life.” II Timothy 2:22 says, “Flee also youthful lusts but follow after righteousness faith charity and peace with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart.” When the school committee, many years before I became the principal, set up the policy regarding dancing, I am confident that they had the principle of fleeing lustful situations in mind. The question as I see it is, should a Christian place themselves at an event where young ladies will have low cut dresses and be dancing in them? Isn’t it contrary to the example of Joseph and the verses that I stated?
I did some research and came across Friendlyatheist.com, which fights Bible fire with Bible fire. Thanks for providing us with the verse, FriendlyAtheist!
Ecclesiastes 3:1-4 (King James Version)
1To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
2A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
3A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
4A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
All sassiness aside, I think there’s something deeper here. Dance, whether Mr. England chooses to acknowledge it or not, is embedded in the history of humanity. As cliche as it is, people use dance to express themselves. People dance at weddings– Christian weddings– to celebrate and show joy. Little children dance (read= jump up and down and wave their arms) when they’re happy, and they just don’t know why. In fact, there’s a budding genre of dance called Liturgical dance. It’s a prayer in the form of dance. Some people find dance so beautiful and spiritual that they use it as a way to praise the Lord.
Taking away dance is denying an important act of humanity. Not that I, nor anyone else, should speak for the big guy upstairs, but I don’t think punishing someone for being human is what was intended.
Tyler and his stepfather, Stephan Johnson, went on CBS’ “The Early Show” this morning. Watch that. He said he doesn’t regret going to the prom. I sure hope not. I hope that he is allowed to walk at his graduation this year. And when he does, I hope he dances on stage.
And now, a song that I dedicate to dear Tyler. I hope you dance, dude.
[Posted by Kathleen]
Here is a quick piece of music news/a warning. Remember Creed? I’ll give you a moment while you cringe… are you okay? Yeah, those guys. Well, prepare for the second coming of the world’s worst faux-Christian rock band. (Second coming. Ha! Get it? Like Jesus?)
In an interview with Rolling Stone, Scott Stapp, the lead d-bag singer, calls the reunion a “a renewing and a rebirth”. I would venture to say it’s more of “a remistake and a reterrible”.
There are going to be plenty of tour dates…if you really care.
The guys already have demos and are looking to all the money making producers to scrounge up a hit single for them. Could we possibly see a Creed song featuring Timbaland? Maybe?
But what about Scotty’s solo CD?! He answers the most important question:
“It would be irresponsible for me to think about anything but Creed. This band is my first love and a first love that’s stood the test of time. It’s not hard to step away from any kind of personal agenda when you are totally fulfilled.”
A first love that stood the test of time… except when your band broke up for five years. Now, call me crazy, but it seems like perhaps Mr. Stapp realized a reunion tour might be his only chance to make lots of dollars. Maybe that’s what he means when he says totally fulfilled.
Some of you may wonder where all of this strong dislike for Creed comes from. Well first of all, the music sucks. But I think my real battle (if you couldn’t tell) is with Scott Stapp. Rolling Stone forgets to mention a few things. Creed broke up because Scott Stapp is a jerk. And it was all downhill from there. In 2006, he was arrested for public intoxication on the night of his wedding. His 6 year old son was the best man. Way to set a good example, Scott. Then, he was arrested for domestic abuse in 2007. Oh, and did you know he has a creepy sex tape with Kid Rock and a bunch of groupies on a bus?
KID ROCK.
Kid Rock and sex tape should not be in the same sentence. Ever.
So there you have it. You have been warned. Now please excuse me, I’m going to go listen to some Taylor Swift. THAT is music.
[Posted by Kathleen]
Filed under blogging, celebrities, music, pop culture, random, sex, thoughts, Uncategorized, weird
Stick ’em out and push ’em up, ladies, because it’s National Cleavage Day 2009! In South Africa. Haha. While we don’t officially celebrate the holiday here in the good old US of A, I’m sure some exceptions can be made if it really resonates with you.
Now I know you are thinking that some pervy dude who still lives in his parent’s basement came up with this holiday so that on the one day he actually stops playing video games and watching porn, he can see some real cleavage. I mean, that’s what I thought. In fact, it’s sponsored by Wonderbra and Cosmo and some proceeds from the day are dedicated to a good cause. You think I’m kidding? Here is the Web site:
http://www.wonderbra.co.za/nationalcleavageday.aspx
And even more reliable, the Wiki.
Wonderbra’s slogan for the day made me laugh out loud. “Firm supporter of the left and the right”. Five points to Gryffindor! Errr…or whichever Hogwarts house the creator of that phrase is in.
So do whatever you need to do to make it happen. And I think it would be extremely appropriate to pour yourself a nice glass of Cleavage Creek wine…
Also, since the girls might be exposed today, you should seriously consider purchasing a Tiddy Bear. What the hell is that, you ask? A Tiddy Bear is my newest infomercial obsession. Observe– A Tiddy Bear:
Can you even live without this? You need to protect your “shoulder”.
Happy Cleavage Day, y’all!
[Posted by Kathleen]
six words to change the world. 