Tag Archives: john mayer

six words has a guest post!

Hey all! How about a Sunday evening guest post? Inspired by the category of people/things not to be trusted on our About Us page, they developed the following list of the most notable celebrities who are NOT to be trusted.

Celebrities Who Are Not To Be Trusted

There are certain celebrities who, quite frankly, leave me feeling a little uneasy. It may be that prolonged exposure to the limelight has had a deleterious effect on their sanity, or perhaps they’re just naturally odd. Whatever the reason for their bizarre behavior, one thing is certain: I woudn’t want to be put in a room with any of these seven nutjobs.

Joaquin Phoenix

Phoenix had a promising start as a young actor in films such as Parenthood and Gladiator, but ever since his bizarre appearance on the David Letterman show, sporting a hobo-esque beard and generally acting like a sociopath for most of the interview, Phoenix appears to have lost his grip on reality. His pseudo-documentary I’m Still Here solidified his status as certified creeper. The whole “am I going crazy or am I just pretending to go crazy” shtick didn’t fool anybody, and the movie was a deserved failure.

Katherine Heigl

Like many others, I was very impressed by Heigl’s performance in Knocked Up, and entertained hopes that she would pick up where Scarlett Johansson had left off in the sophisticated-and-beautiful-actress category. Unfortunately, it appears she is a complete diva on set and intolerable to work with. Beyond this, her habits of slandering and insulting the people who helped her get her career off the ground have made her quite a few enemies in Hollywood, and for good reason.

Tom Cruise

Little needs to be said about why Cruise made the list. His antics of the past decade include the infamous couch-jumping episode, his advocacy of Scientology, and above all, TomKat. The minute I heard that Katie wouldn’t be allowed to make a single unpleasant noise while in labor with her first child because of the Scientologist belief that it would cause psychological damage to the newborn, I knew my worst suspicions about Cruise were true.

John Mayer

It’s easy to be seduced by the sultry strains emanating from Mayer’s guitar, but it seems like every month there’s a new revelation about what a seedy character he is. Recent highlights include his interview with Playboy in which he famously uttered the n-word, claiming it was all right because he had a “hood pass”; in other words, that the white, affluent Mayer somehow had gangsta cred. To say about 50% of what comes from his mouth is offensive would be a conservative estimate.

Mel Gibson

Exceeding even John Mayer’s offensive capabilities is none other than Mel Gibson, whose controverisal film The Passion marked a turning point in his career from action movie hero to ultra-conservative anti-Semitic wacko. As if his depiction of Jews in The Passion wasn’t offensive enough, the recording of his anti-Semitic tirade while being arrested for drunk driving was the nail in the coffin.

Angelina Jolie

Angelina is the only member of this list I actually still have respect for, but that doesn’t mean I would trust her with my kids (if I had kids). Her romantic history includes a fling with Billy Bob Thorton that achieved record levels of creepiness, which were then completely destroyed by her confession of being romantically involved with her brother. That’s right, her brother.

Sarah Palin

I debated whether it would be right to add Sarah Palin to this list, but although ostensibly a “politician,” she’s really as much of a celebrity as everyone else on this list. I’m pretty sure I don’t need to go into the details of the hundreds of groan-inducing moments on the campaign trail running as vice presidential nominee in 2010. What’s remarkable is that she continues to hog the limelight two years after America decided they couldn’t bear the thought of her being a heartbeat away from the presidency.

K. Wallulis is a writer.

[Posted by Mallory]

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six degrees of john mayer’s manhood.

Thank you, GQ, for this brilliant and way too entertaining chart. (Click to enlarge)

I love how it connects Sarah Silverman, Jimmy Kimmel, Matt Damon and Ben Affleck. Remember that?

[Posted by Kathleen]

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let’s just call it beard friday.

Whelp, DC is back to work after a four-day (!) run of snow days. Luckily, I’m a lowly student/part-time employee so it’s just another lazy Friday for me. In theory, it’s not supposed to be lazy. Not at all. But there was…well…a lot of wine last night, and then the walking in the snow this morning, and this girl is sleepy. (My life is hard. I know.)

But there are some things to talk about in the blogosphere! First, Sarah Palin is an idiot and Stephen Colbert is awesome. I mean, we knew that, but that clip illustrates it yet again. The pure, unadulterated hatred I feel toward Sarah Palin actually scares me a little bit. Somebody. make. her. stop.

Speaking of making people stop, take a look at John Mayer’s interview with Playboy, if you haven’t already. Reading that thing is exhausting. I can’t imagine what it’s like inside his head.

It’s all okay though, guys. Because today is BEARD FRIDAY. That just means I’m going to show you these images:

If someone wanted to send me a bearded man with a bag full of breakfast sandwiches, I wouldn’t be upset.

[Posted by Mallory]

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who says i can’t get stoned?

I’m a little embarrassed to admit this, because of interviews like this, but I’m in love with the new John Mayer single. I even like the video, and find it strangely depressing and authentic-seeming:

Thoughts?

[Posted by Mallory]

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it might be a quarter-life crisis.

Or maybe just a bold career move.  Either way, TMZ.com (the real “gotcha” journalists) is reporting that John Mayer will be hosting a weekly variety show on CBS, maybe as early as January 2009.

The show will be “a music, variety and sketch show in the ’60s mold,” according to TMZ.  I’m sure there were a few successful variety and sketch shows in the ’60s but my mind goes right to “The Brady Bunch Hour.”  Technically, that was a show of the 70s but that’s what I’m picturing and I just don’t know what to make of the thought of deliciously-jeans-and-teeshirted John Mayer in one of these outfits:

There’s no word yet from John Mayer’s people about a variety show but Johnny did have this to say on his blog (yes, he has a blog; yes, I read it sometimes; yes, it would have been much cooler if he was the mystery guest blogger):

Hi out there…
thought I’d check in to let you all know what’s up in my world…

I’m working on the next CD, which I’m sure you will immediately hate until you eventually love. I’m basing out of LA because I’m working on a side project that is extremely cool. (I’ll tell you about it soon.)

A side project that is extremely cool?  Is that singer/songwriter/celebrity blogger code for “musical variety show of the 60s mold?!”  Probably.  John Mayer’s a pretty funny dude and I certainly wouldn’t object to seeing more of him but I’m just not sure how I feel about this.  Then again, I have an aversion to most change. 

What are your thoughts?  Can he pull it off?  Is it Rock ‘n’ Roll?  Will you watch?

While you debate, let’s take a trip back to where it all started:

[Posted by Madeline]

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everyone deserves music. and ice water.

As Kathleen mentioned, we are very sorry for being so delinquent the past few days. It may not seem like it, but blogging is stressful! Sometimes you just don’t want to blog, but then your millions of fans (or your sister) are all “Heeey why no blogging the past few days?? I’m angry! Write more!”

The reason for my lack of blogging is that I had a visitor this past weekend and was out actually living my life. Exciting, right? (I was extremely proud of myself for not looking at the blog for a full three days…normally I can’t last three minutes). My friend Katie was visiting from Maine, so we were running around doing lots of fun things. Most notably, we attended the Mile High Music Festival, which was absolutely amazing but also absolutely exhausting. Sitting out for hours in 95 degree heat is not exactly relaxing.

The first day of the concert, Kelsey, my sister Maddy, Katie, and I came — we thought — well-prepared, with snacks, flasks hidden under our dresses, and plenty of water. We didn’t consider the fact that water warms up pretty quickly when it has no ice in it, and so by about 2:00 p.m., our water was a few degrees away from boiling. From 3:00 to 4:00, I actually thought I might die. I was sort of limping from stage to stage, clutching my throat, and begging every beer man I saw for some of the ice that was keeping the beers cold. (“Please sir! Can I have some ice?!”)

Though my martyrdom was reaching epic proportions, I was aware that I wasn’t the only one at the concert who was dying of heat. It was very entertaining to see people fighting for the tiniest amounts of shade in the strangest of places: under a large pole, behind a row of porta-potties, beside a trash can, etc. People were getting desperate, man.

Luckily, things cooled off by about 5:00, and then everyone stepped away from the porta-potties, regained their senses, and focused on the music. It was about this time that we were upgraded to VIP tickets, which means we got free beer and wine, free food, a nice cool tent to sit in, and shuttle rides from stage to stage. Baaaaaller. Then we got to see Spoon, which got us all going (read: dancing like crazy, unashamed hippies). It was Michael Franti and Spearhead, however, that made the weekend for me.

Now, I’m not a huge Michael Franti fan. It’s not that I don’t like him; I just don’t know a lot of his stuff. But Katie, being the best fake hippie among us, wanted us all to go, and we obliged. His show was awesome. He had that intangible thing that only a few artists have that makes a concert truly kickass, whether or not you know the music. He had everyone in the crowd dancing like maniacs, and he was clearly having a great time, which makes a huge difference. After his performance, we were all blissfully happy and more or less remained that way for the rest of the weekend.

I won’t go through every single performance we saw over the course of the weekend (that could take a while), but let’s talk about John Mayer for a second.

The entire festival was extremely well-organized, and as part of that, all of the artists were very punctual. They started and ended exactly when they were supposed to, every time. So we’re all lounging around waiting for John Mayer to come on at 6:00 on Sunday, and at 5:30 people start cheering. We stand up and see that some dude has taken the stage and has begun to sing “Start Me Up.” We were confused. Our conversation went a little something like this:

“Wait, that can’t be John Mayer.”

“Yeah, why would he start so early?”

“And why would he be wearing a tank top?”

“And why would he open with a cover?”

“And since when is his entire left arm tattooed?”

“It must just be some random filler guy that they put onstage to kill time.”

“It really sounds like John Mayer, though.”

“Oh my god, is he wearing CAPRIS?”

The stranger onstage was, indeed, John Mayer, and he was, indeed, wearing a tank top, manpris, and black tennis shoes. Ouch. Other than the frightening wardrobe choice (where’s the womanly influence, Jen?), he was looking pretty good. Especially when he took his shirt off for the last song (sure, it was a little unnecessary, but who am I to complain?):

John, have you been working out?

Anyway…the concert was fabulous and you should all come next year. We’ll have a special SWTCTW section, with lots of ice and Coors Light.

Before I wrap this up, I have to recognize the two MVP’s of the concert. First, Mr. Michael Franti for reasons stated above:

Okay one more of him, courtesy of Katie, just because these are cool photos:

The second MVP award goes to Dave Matthews’ drummer, Carter Beauford, for being the jolliest human I have ever seen:

Carter, I dig you.

[Posted by Mallory]

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dammit, world, let me love adam!

Our bloggy friend Caroline over at Drunkinarowboat has posted a few times about how irritating it is when people get mad at you for liking mainstream music. In her articles, she talks about how much she loves Coldplay and John Mayer, and how, you know, we’re not supposed to like them because everybody likes them.

I’ve been thinking about this today for a couple of reasons. First, this quote was in Quotes of the Day today (yes, I know, I’m obsessed):

The remarkable thing about Shakespeare is that he really is very good, in spite of all the people who say he is very good. [Robert Graves]

I hear ya, Robert! I mean, who’s to say John Mayer isn’t to music what Shakespeare is to writing? (That could be just ever so slightly a stretch, but you see what I mean.)

Second, this morning over breakfast, I read a Coldplay-bashing article in the NYT magazine. In it, Virginia Heffernan spends an agonizing 15 paragraphs dissecting Coldplay’s MySpace page. No Virginia, not okay. She draws this impressive conclusion at the end:

Because it lacks the conviction of a real, florid MySpace page, [Coldplay’s MySpace page] is obscurely embarrassing. Yet, in a straightforward way, it underscores the embarrassment of Coldplay’s music — the mawkishness, suppressed arrogance, halfheartedness and squeamishness about rock stardom. When illustrated by the graphics here, embarrassment seems like an entirely worthy theme for very hard soft rock.

Wait, what? Either way, I’ll still going to consider it totally enjoyable and acceptable to loudly duet “Viva la Vida” in the car with my sister.

The third reason I’ve been thinking about all the elitists who hate popular music is that I’m going to a festival this weekend that several of my hippie/emo/elitist friends have condemned as “too mainstream,” as if the crunchy folk and the angry teenagers had the market cornered on music festivals. I think the lineup is amazing: headlined by Dave Matthews Band, John Mayer, and TOM PETTY, with other acts like Stephen Kellogg, Jason Mraz, Citizen Cope, moe., O.A.R., Spoon, Michael Franti and Spearhead, Brett Dennen, Ingrid Michaelson, Flogging Molly, The Roots, and The Black Crowes. Plus some others that didn’t make my short list. And yes, I did just want to brag a little bit, because how kickass of a lineup is that?

Even though I’m thrilled about the above mainstream/hippie/jam band acts that I’ll be seeing this weekend, I’m still annoyed that people are so condescending about it. I was talking to this kid at a bar about the concert, for instance, and of course he said that he wasn’t attending because it was “too mainstream.” He then asked me what my favorite band was. Here’s the moment where I know I’m about to be judged by a person like him, because, goddamnit, I just happen to be hardcore in love with the Counting Crows.

Now, why on earth should I be embarrassed about that? Alternative Elitist Boy at the bar seems to think I should be, but it’s not like I’d be admitting to owning every S Club 7 album ever made (did they even have more than one album, by the way? And didn’t they have a movie?).

The point is, everyone should just calm down, pour themselves a tall Jack and Coke, and admit that songs like “Mrs. Potter’s Lullaby” really are insanely good. (Incidentally, “Mrs. Potter’s Lullaby” is the song I request every time I’m hammered and someone pulls out an acoustic guitar. The fact that NO ONE ever knows how to play this song has never stopped me from begging.) Anyhoo, let’s take a listen to a live version and I’ll stop ranting:

[Posted by Mallory]

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