Tag Archives: celebrity gossip

six degrees of john mayer’s manhood.

Thank you, GQ, for this brilliant and way too entertaining chart. (Click to enlarge)

I love how it connects Sarah Silverman, Jimmy Kimmel, Matt Damon and Ben Affleck. Remember that?

[Posted by Kathleen]

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mariah carey is practically a nun.

Oh huge news!  Mariah Carey has spoken out about her decision to abstain from sex with husband Nick Cannon until marriage.

“It’s not that we had NO intimacy, we just didn’t have complete intimacy. It’s just me, and my feelings.
I definitely don’t want to push it on anybody else. But we both have similar beliefs, and I just thought that it would be so much more special if we waited until after we were married. And it was, and it still is.”

Aww, cute.  Wait a second… didn’t they get married after just two months of dating?

Wow, those two months must have been really hard for them.  Celebrities are so funny!

[Posted by Kathleen]

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michael jackson is an old man.

Michael Jackson turns 50 today. Out of sheer classiness, I am going to refrain from making jokes about young boys (but it’s difficult). But I will post his quote:

“I feel very wise and sage, but at the same time very young.”

Wise? Nah. Sage? For sure no. But he feels young? I believe him.

And just for kicks, here’s a slideshow of M.J. through the years. My my my, he’s changed:

http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/CelebrityCafePhotos/popup?id=793259

[Posted by Kathleen]

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david duchovny’s life imitates his art.

Your SWTCTW bloggers (and beloved friends) love the show ‘Californication’. For those of you who do not know the show, it’s basically Hank Moody (David Duchovny’s character) having sex with anything that walks. That sounds crass, but it’s a really witty, well-written show that actually has a plot. As you can imagine, I’ve been a leeeeeeeeetle preoccupied singing ‘Kumbaya’ with my fellow Democrats and have been neglecting all other news. So I was surprised/unsurprised to read that Duchovny is going into rehab for a sex addiction. Uh oh. That can’t be good. Here is D’s statement to People Magazine:

“I have voluntarily entered a facility for the treatment of sex addiction. I ask for respect and privacy for my wife and children as we deal with this situation as a family.”

He’s married to Téa Leoni. Shame on you for being a dirty boy, David. And it’s sad that life imitates art. But here’s the difference: Hank would nevah evah go to rehab for a sex addiction to try and get better.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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gwen birthed zuma nesta rock rossdale.

Another celebrity baby is born, another crazy name. Yawn. Kidddddddding. Kind of. Another boy for Gwen Stefani! World, get ready for Zuma Nesta Rock Rossdale. Interesting choice. But I do have to say that Gwen and Gavin sure know how to ensure their kids are badass. Rock as your middle name? Rock on.

UPDATE:  Read about how the name was chosen here.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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kerry’s not just a democratic partier.

Our former Democratic presidential nominee, Sen. John Kerry is also a real partier. Or so these pictures, dug up by TMZ, would suggest. But here’s the thing–I don’t believe what the pictures suggest.

Because let’s face it, if you’re black out drunk and you run into anyone, and I mean ANYONE you know, you’re going to make them take pictures with you. And they, by default, will appear plastered as well. If you don’t believe me, please refer to Mallory’s cry face photos. I don’t know how to put this delicately, but John Kerry also has a permanent case of the drunk eyes. It’s not his fault. So basically, I believe the statement from his office:

“As Sen. Kerry and two friends left dinner at the Straight Warf restaurant on Nantucket and walked down the dock, a large group on a boat recognized Senator Kerry and asked if they could have a photo taken. The group came off the boat and onto the dock, took a photo with Sen. Kerry and his friends, and then Sen. Kerry and his two friends immediately walked away. End of story.”

These biddies, according to TMZ, are sophomores and juniors in college. But they’re also constituents! And, it has been reported, one of them was drinking out of a (gasp!) penis straw. Sophomores and juniors, you say? Yeah, that sounds about right.

So here are some of the pictures. What do you think?

The girl in the green dress has made a spectacular collegiate showing in these photos. I’d personally like to extend my congratulations and sheer appreciation that she wisely chose to wear underwear that night. I’d also like to send my condolences to you, dear girl, because now everybody that goes on the internet knows you’re a sloppy drunk/the annoying girl that makes dumb faces in EVERY FREAKING PHOTO. (You all know the kind of girl I’m talking about.)

So despite thinking the photos aren’t that big of a deal, please, make all the jokes you want, because John Kerry looks like real Democratic, um, donkey. (Read: he looks like a huge ass.) These pict-chas are hysterical. If this was me and my girrrrrrls, helllllz yeah, I wouldn’t just Facebook ’em, I’d tag ’em too! Which means I’m serious.

And here is my final thought. Even if he is partying with a bunch of college sluts like a huge douche, whatever. At least he’s partying. Because we all know the Republican party is neither a republic, nor a party. Discuss amongst yourselves.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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even stevens? nah, shia’s fairly tipsy.

Shia LaBeouf made a teeny bit of an oopsie–as in, a DUI. Side note, but trying to spell his last name makes me feel as if I’m typing while drunk. It never looks right, and it rarely is. I always have to Wikipedia that shit and then copy and paste. And don’t even get me started on trying to say it. Okay, back to “the news”.

A few nights ago, he was just cruising around in his truck with a friend (who happens to be a girl. Grrr.) and accidentally ran into another car and flipped his truck. Eek. Fortunately, everyone else involved was treated for only minor injuries, but Shia had to have surgery on his left hand and banged his knee up. Ouch. According to his PR person, who is for sure having the worst week ever, he’ll be back to filming Transformers 2 in a month.

This is not the first time he’s gotten in trouble for being plastered. He was arrested last fall for being a jackass at a Walgreen’s (nice work, buddy). He did, however, have a pretty cute mugshot. Even with glassy eyes. See?

Yeah, I’d, um, “date” that. Rawr.

This whole thing is devastating to me, because, let’s face it, the only reason I went to see the ridiculous aliens attack Indiana Jones movie is due to the fact that he was in it. (Sorry, Alicia.) I’ve got a thing for him, but this is not to his credit. I mean, I can’t fantasize about him driving us around in his truck along the California coastline (and me looking gorgeous) if I’m frightened that’s he’s so drunk he’ll drive us right off the edge. UGH.

Whatever, Shia. You got lucky this time. And everybody loves a bad boy, just don’t do it again.

Oh, and just for the irony, here is something he said on Letterman after his Walgreen’s fiasco:

“Drinking and driving is one thing, but drinking and shopping … it’s just as bad.”

Um, I’m going to say drinking and driving is worse, but maybe that’s just me.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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