Tag Archives: tyra banks

from the creator of the smize…

Before we begin this post, an important statement from your favorite SWTCTW bloggers: “As of Tuesday, May 11, your fearless bloggers now prefer to be referred to as “intoxibellas”, for so many reasons. We will not answer to anything else. We appreciate your understanding and cooperation.  Thank you.”

The world as we know it changed today with the announcement of Tyra Banks’ new project, appropriately titled Bankable Books.  Professional smizer TyTy, who claims to be an avid fan of fantasy novels and says she shakes when she enters bookstores, has written (read: paid someone to ghost write) a new series of books that will whisk us away in to a magical land. I cannot even begin to explain… it’s better to post what she wrote.

The story happens in a make-believe place called Modelland – every girl in the world wants to go there because it’s where “Intoxibellas” are trained.  Intoxibellas are drop-dead beautiful, kick-butt fierce and, yeah, maybe they have some powers too.  (But I’m confirming NOTHING! Ha. You gotta wait for the book.)  The story follows a teen girl and her friends who find themselves magically transported to Modelland, even though they’re really not supposed to be there. (Okay, now, that’s ALL I’m saying!)

Modelland has always been a part of my mind and my heart.  As you might know, I step into a bookstore and I shake (really!) because I love books so much.  Ever since I was a kid, I couldn’t wait to pick up a new book and see what worlds the writers had created for me. I especially loved books with strong girls and women – you know, girls with guts, smarts and attitude – and then one day it came to me… MODELLAND!   I’m getting it ready for you through my new division called Bankable Books and now I’m shaking for a different reason…  I’m excited that you’ll be able to read about this magical world that’s been living in my dreams for so many years.

Ahem. That explains so much. Clever points for the name… Modelland (in case you were wondering, it’s pronounced like Model Land) must have been a real stretch!  Secondly, “intoxibellas” sounds like it could be Italian for “drunk girls”. Perhaps it is.  Is it, Mal? Gah, I don’t have all day so I’m going to stop before I really get going. Please share your thoughts on this in the comments section.  You owe it to the world.

I just hope the folks on the Nobel panel are taking notice of this literary contribution.

[Posted by Intoxibella]

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Filed under adventures, blogging, celebrities, education, humor, pictures, pop culture, random, the arts, Uncategorized, weird

’cause down the shore everything’s alright.

ring-dance-picture2

Greetings, readers! It’s your favorite Jersey Shore-correspondent-turned-guest-blogger here, Madeline!  I’ll be filling in for Kathleen while she’s gallivanting around South America, living life in the adventurous way expected from twenty-somethings.  Personally, I defy those expectations by spending most of my free time watching the teevee with my dog.  How exciting for all of us. 

Kathleen has left some pretty big flip-flops to fill but she assures me that I’m well prepared as I’m unemployed and still suffering from regular bouts of post-college depression.  Still, this is a big task so I’ll start off slowly and in the way most entertaining to me: by talking about myself!  So that we can all become better acquainted I’ll follow the SWTCTW tradition set by Mallory and Kathleen: 

About Madeline

pictured above, your favorite bloggers and guest blogger

(is it weird that we have this many pictures of us snuggling in beds together?)

 

People/things not to be trusted: curling irons, Tyra Banks, humidity, decaf coffee.

 Unhealthily obsessed with: all things French, high heels, Bruce Springsteen, Madeleine Albright, Ireland, cocktail dresses.

Favorite Sports: skiing, tailgating, group e-mailing.

Favorite Foods: champagne, brie, peanut butter.

Six word memoir: I’m Madeline! Nice to meet you!  (Okay so that’s a temporary one but it works!)

[Posted by Madeline]

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family feud: the brady bunch style.

Even the most perfect TV family is not so perfect- in real life. Florence Henderson, who played Mrs. Brady, and Christopher Knight, who played Peter Brady, are in a bit of a tiff. For those of you that aren’t VH1 whores like me and my friends, Christopher Knight met “America’s Next Top Model” winner Adrianne Curry (Tyra, girl, you messed that one up.) on “The Surreal LIfe”. They fell in love, apparently. “The Surreal Life”, by the way, is the most disasterous/repulsive of all celebrity reality shows. I’m willing to bet that 5/8 members have had a sex tape released on the internet. Yeah Mini-Me, I’m talking about you. The other beautiful coupling that has been derived from this show was Brigitte Nielsen and Flavor Flav. Give me a second, I need to go vomit.

Anyway, Knight and Curry went on to have their own reality show, “My Fair Brady”. To the genius that thought of the title: ouch. You slay me. And as you can imagine, hilarity, disaster and severe marital dysfunction have ensued.

So Flo told reporters last week that their marriage was a mistake and that they were pressured into it by the reality show, etc. She said, “They didn’t take my advice at all! And as you may have seen, they did get engaged and they did get married. Maybe I will counsel the divorce.” Let the record state that she is a certified hypnotherapist and the terrible twosome had asked for her help.

Naturally, Peter Brady is mad at Mommy. But guess what Peter/Christopher, old Flo (who now does denture commercials) is RIGHT. Adrianne Curry is a mess, and not in the hot Project Runway Christian Siriano way. And here is how you know things are really bad: he responded to his fake mom’s comments via his MYSPACE page. Ugh! Haha.

It is no secret Florence and Adrianne do not see eye to eye. In truth, I can empathize with both sets of views. But….in the struggle I have hoping one day these two women will bridge their generation and philosophical differences, calling my marriage a sham helps so very little.

I put forth the hope that opne day both Adrianne and Florence, both of whom have played an integral role in my life, will find a way to come together in a peaceful and respectful way. In the mean time, the sanctity of my marriage should not be called into question.”

Whatever, dude. You can’t expect to “marry” and reality TV train wreck and not have anybody watch or comment!

I’m anxiously looking forward to the rest of the Brady family getting involved. Man, this would have been a great episode.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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