Category Archives: six word memoirs

six words to run the world.

Back when we used to blog semi-regularly, when we disappeared for a while, we’d usually apologize by starting our next post with “OH HAHA HEY REMEMBER US?” But at this point it’s been nearly a year, so fuck that. Sorry we’re not sorry. We’ve been off doing, like, really important things. (No, that’s not true. But we both did start Tumblr bloggies, because, frankly, they’re easier to keep up with because all you have to do is reblog other people’s photos and nice quotes and YouTube videos and you’re under no obligation to even write six words about them. We never formally admitted that here because then it would be like Six Words was over, and I don’t ever want it to be over. WE CAN’T QUIT YOU, SIX WORDS. Now that I’ve mentioned it, though: Kathleeny can be found at everythingisavesselforgoatcheese.tumblr.com and I’m at playingthedrumswithamaraca.tumblr.com. Only one of us has a Tumblr with a six-word title, and it’s me, so I win.)

I’ve been thinking about this here neglected bloggy lately for two reasons:

  1. On Thanksgiving, I randomly read a bunch of my old Thanksgiving posts, and then I felt all emo and missed it here.
  2. Kathleen and I are MAJOR runners now, and when naming our team (read: just the two of us) for an upcoming race, she offered “Six Words to Run the World” as an option, and then I felt all emo and missed it here.

Now that the obligatory re-introduction part is over, let me tell you about how Kathleen and I run now. First, you should probably know that in college, Kathleen and I did a lot of powerwalking (as in we powerwalked like six times total over the course of four years) because we really hated running. We called it our P-Dubs club, and talked about making t-shirts with hilarious sayings like “Running Is for Cowards” and “Runners Find the Dead Bodies.”

Fast forward a few years, and we started running because Kathleen found a Women in Politics 5K and obviously we had to participate. An important thing happened during this run. While neither of us experienced some bullshit like a runner’s high, the race organizer people (or one of the organizers’ boyfriends who had a digital camera, because this run took place on a college campus and wasn’t very legitimate) took an epic photograph of Kathleen and me, wearing matching t-shirts and holding hands as we triumphantly crossed the finish line. (Keep in mind, this was a 5K. Kathleen’s boyfriend ran more than a 5K, uphill, to watch us run ours.)

In theory, this photo was really fucking adorable. In practice, Kathleen looks adorable and I look like a man. Two people who knew it was me said “Holy shit, you look like a dude” upon seeing the photo, and one person who saw the photo and didn’t know the back story thought it was an unattractive male acquaintance we had just been discussing. Naturally, that shit had to get FatBoothed. In all her pixelated glory, here she blows:

If a FatBoothed photo of the ugliest photo ever taken of you doesn’t keep you running, nothing will.

I know what you’re thinking, and no, you cannot have my number, and no, this is not about to become a running blog. I mostly just wanted to show you this photo and say hello. I’ve missed you.

[Posted by Mallory]

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just six words and a picture.

A note left by Rep. Patrick Kennedy on his father’s grave (Ted Kennedy). Warning: if you have a bleeding liberal heart, this may make you weep. This picture comes from the White House’s Flickr stream.

“Dad, the unfinished business is done.”

[Posted by Kathleen]

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just six words and a picture.

This screen shot comes from Time.com:

Picture 2

How fitting that it’s a donkey.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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all grown up and buying domains.

Readers, we’ve gone legitimate! That’s right, SWTCTW now has its very own domain name. We are free of the shackles of the unwieldy .wordpress! HOORAY! Visit us now at www.sixwordstochangetheworld.com. (Don’t worry, www.sixwordstochangetheworld.wordpress.com will still work, but that’s just SO much typing.)

[Posted by Mallory and Kathleen]

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just six words and a picture.

lady gaga

Lady Gaga is actually a fembot.

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kimberley vlaminck stars in “star face”.

I hope you thought my post title was as clever as I did. Anyway, this story broke a few days ago, but I’ve been DYING to share it with you. So meet Kimberley Vlaminck.

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Yes, those are star tattoos on her face. Fifty-six, to be exact. According to the 18-year-old Belgian though, she only asked for three but the tattoo artist didn’t understand her. She then says she “fell asleep” and woke up like that. Well, I don’t have any tattoos, but from what I’ve heard they hurt. A lot. I can’t really see someone falling asleep while a needle was poking ink into the skin on their face. Call me crazy. The tattoo artist, Rouslan Toumaniantz, says that she did indeed ask for that and that she was awake the entire time. Want to see what Mr. Toumaniantz looks like? I thought so:

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Rawr? Ha. Wowie. I mean, really, she should not be THAT surprised if she is telling the truth (but I doubt it). Despite an eye witness saying that Kimberley did in fact ask for 56 stars, Rouslan is being a nice guy and offering to pay for half of the removal, which would cost roughly$14,000. The cost of the original tattoo? About $90. Learning from other people’s mistakes? Priceless.

So there is your SWTCTW life lesson of the day. Whose side are you on?

[Posted by Kathleen]

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six words celebrates its first birthday!

BABIES!

It's our bloggy baby's first birthday!

So, we just drank a bottle of champagne, ate three pounds of food (some of it vegetables, I swear!), and spent an hour trying to create some sort of “Best of SWTCTW” list. The problem is, all of our posts are so amazing, and we are so witty and entertaining and wonderful, that it’s hard to pick just a few select posts. Slash we drank a bottle of champagne and it’s just too hard to deal with stuff like that. 

The point of all this is that Six Words To Change The World turned one today!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SWTCTW! We were very excited when we realized this today, and you should be too. If you’ve been with us for the whole year (Dave, Susannah, Carlos, Mike, Abbey, Kelsey, Maddy, etc., we’re looking at you), thank you from the bottom of our bloggy hearts. (Kathleen: “I was just about to say, ‘Please write “bloggy hearts.” I hate you so much.'”) But seriously, thank you, everyone, for reading. Stick with us, and hopefully we can celebrate our second anniversary together next year. Until then, enjoy a little champagne, or maybe some cake, or maybe just this video (we’re still laughing, a LOT, a year later):

We love that baby, and we love you. 

xoxo,

Mallory and Kathleen

[Posted by Mallory and Kathleen]

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mwhahaha APRIL FOOLS! gotcha good, clowns!

As the smart ones among you may have realized, Six Words is not dying! We would and could never do such a thing! Where would we get our sense of purpose? Where else could we rant about bikini jeans and leggings as pants and the Republican party?

It’s funny how few people catch on to April Fools jokes. I’m one of them, but I thought I was just a gullible person who rarely knows what day it is. Last year, for instance, I totally fell for Gmail’s Time Machine feature, which claimed to allow you to send emails from the past to cover your ass. I found myself debating the ethics of such a tool, and chalked it up to the genius of the amazing nerds at Google who, frankly, are welcome to take over the world.

With our teensy attempt at an April Fools joke, we got a chance to see who REALLY cares about our blog. We got some great reactions to the initial announcement:

Lynn: no more blog?!! sad day – but please don’t grow up and get a little serious!! 

Rachel: WHY???????

Abbey: Why oh why are you stopping your blog??

Some earnest attempts to change our minds:

Karen: why??

me: i know, i knowww

Karen: no entiendo

me: we just haven’t been good at updating it, you know? we think its time to move on

Karen: what if i bought you giant cheetos?

And some relieved, if angry, after-the-fact responses:

Shannon: you got me.

Susannah: GAH! you totally got me. i unsuscribed in google reader and everything. wtf

Daniel: you guys really scared me

Kelsey: you not funny bitch.

In the end, this little gag made us really appreciate our readers. Not to get all Ram Dass on you, but we’re obviously not trying to make a living off of our blog. We’re just trying to write about, well, whatever we want to write about, and if people enjoy a post here and there, that’s great. When even a handful of people really care enough to get upset about “the death of our website,” as one of my friends put it, then Six Words is more than worth it. We’ll keep writing if you keep reading. No more tomfoolery, we promise.

[Posted by Mallory]

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the shoe heard round the world.

Remember that Iraqi reporter who threw his fancy footwear at the (former!) leader of the free world’s head?  Ahh yes, Muntazer al-Zaidi!  That silly prankster!

Now, as you could have gathered from my liberal bleeding heart wimpy sappy Obama obsessed blog,  I wasn’t W’s biggest fan.  But, to quote Austin Powers (and I will NEVER EVER quote it again, by the way.  I promise.), “Who throws a shoe? Honestly?!”

To commemorate the Muntazernator’s horrible aim (or W.’s cat-like reflexes, which no doubt are a result of his frequent cat naps), the Iraqis in Sadaam Hussein’s hometown, Tikrit, have unveiled a six-foot statue of a shoe.  Cool?

Now that is CLASSY.  One and a half tons of pure class with a tree sticking out of it.  Just in case you are dumb like me and can’t read Arabic, the inscription says “Muntazer: fasting until the sword breaks its fast with blood; silent until our mouths speak the truth.”

Ah, now that is poetry.

Muntazer, by the way, is in jail.  He is facing charges of assaulting a visiting head of state.

And please note about the title of this post, I KNOW that you can’t hear a shoe around the world.  I’m only making a nerdy historical reference to “the shot heard round the world”.  It’s a line from a poem written by Emerson about the start of the Revolutionary War.  WOOO LIBERAL ARTS!

[Posted by Kathleen]

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just six words and a picture.

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Tony says PETA is grrrrrrrrrrrrrrreat! Errr…

or

Little Timmy wants a new cat.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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