by K |
May 11, 2010 · 2:03 pm
Before we begin this post, an important statement from your favorite SWTCTW bloggers: “As of Tuesday, May 11, your fearless bloggers now prefer to be referred to as “intoxibellas”, for so many reasons. We will not answer to anything else. We appreciate your understanding and cooperation. Thank you.”
The world as we know it changed today with the announcement of Tyra Banks’ new project, appropriately titled Bankable Books. Professional smizer TyTy, who claims to be an avid fan of fantasy novels and says she shakes when she enters bookstores, has written (read: paid someone to ghost write) a new series of books that will whisk us away in to a magical land. I cannot even begin to explain… it’s better to post what she wrote.
The story happens in a make-believe place called Modelland – every girl in the world wants to go there because it’s where “Intoxibellas” are trained. Intoxibellas are drop-dead beautiful, kick-butt fierce and, yeah, maybe they have some powers too. (But I’m confirming NOTHING! Ha. You gotta wait for the book.) The story follows a teen girl and her friends who find themselves magically transported to Modelland, even though they’re really not supposed to be there. (Okay, now, that’s ALL I’m saying!)
Modelland has always been a part of my mind and my heart. As you might know, I step into a bookstore and I shake (really!) because I love books so much. Ever since I was a kid, I couldn’t wait to pick up a new book and see what worlds the writers had created for me. I especially loved books with strong girls and women – you know, girls with guts, smarts and attitude – and then one day it came to me… MODELLAND! I’m getting it ready for you through my new division called Bankable Books and now I’m shaking for a different reason… I’m excited that you’ll be able to read about this magical world that’s been living in my dreams for so many years.
Ahem. That explains so much. Clever points for the name… Modelland (in case you were wondering, it’s pronounced like Model Land) must have been a real stretch! Secondly, “intoxibellas” sounds like it could be Italian for “drunk girls”. Perhaps it is. Is it, Mal? Gah, I don’t have all day so I’m going to stop before I really get going. Please share your thoughts on this in the comments section. You owe it to the world.
I just hope the folks on the Nobel panel are taking notice of this literary contribution.
[Posted by Intoxibella]
Filed under adventures, blogging, celebrities, education, humor, pictures, pop culture, random, the arts, Uncategorized, weird
Tagged as bankable books, drunk girls, intoxibellas, is this real life?, modelland, modelland books, nobel prize, photo tyra banks, smize, the smize, tyra banks, tyra banks books, tyra banks modelland, tyra banks pictures
by K |
October 6, 2008 · 8:17 pm
No, this is not something I overheard at a table of 8th graders. (Do I even know any 8th graders?) This is legitimate, scientific fact. Deborah Anderson of Boston University Medical Center and her colleagues discovered that Coca-Cola makes the defenseless little spermies explode. Seriously.
In honor of their epic discovery, Anderson and her colleagues were awarded an Ig Nobel prize. Not to be confused with the Nobel prize, the Ig Nobel prizes reward research with some snark and humor. So naturally, SWTCTW is impressed.
Because the Reuters news story describes some of the other winners better, here are the best parts:
The Ig Nobel committee made up a “nutrition prize” to go to Massimiliano Zampini of the University of Trento, Italy and Charles Spence of Britain’s Oxford University, who tricked people into thinking they were eating fresh potato chips by playing them loud, crunching sounds when they bit one.
The biology prize goes to a French team that found dog fleas can jump higher than cat fleas, while the medicine prize was awarded to a team at Duke University in North Carolina who showed that high-priced placebos work better than cheap fake medicine.
Dorian Raymer of the Scripps Institution in San Diego and a colleague won the physics prize for demonstrating mathematically why hair or a ball of string will inevitably tangle itself in knots.
How smart do you feel, knowing that dog fleas can jump higher than cat fleas? I’m feeling good. I also learned from this year’s economics winner that professional lap dancers make more when they’re most fertile. So ladies, take note. More useless knowledge that people spent lots of money on to study:
Past winners include the creator of the plastic pink flamingo, a researcher who recorded a mallard duck sodomizing a dead drake and a doctor who cured hiccups by applying digital rectal massage.
I guarantee you that when the big time Nobel prizes are announced, they won’t be nearly as entertaining as the Ig Nobels.
And guys, Coca-Cola has been proven ineffectual as a method of birth control. Don’t get any weird ideas.
[Posted by Kathleen]
Filed under blogging, crushes, definitely not politics, history, humor, news, pop culture, random, technology
Tagged as 8th grade, 8th graders, birth control, chips, coca-cola, coca-cola kills sperm, coke, coke kills sperm, deborah anderson, ig nobel prizes, ig nobels, lap dances, nobel prize, nobel prize winners, nobel winners, pink flamingos, pop, reuters, science, scientific research, scientists, soda, strippers, weird science