Tag Archives: stalking

tales from my morning news stalk.

Good mornnnnnnnnnnning! I have completed my morning news/gossip stalk, and because blogging about each of these would take all day I’m putting it all together in one glorious post. Don’t you judge me.

So now we find out that Jesse Jackson not only threatened the testicles of Saint Barack, he used the N-word too. Ohhh, no you did not! Here is what he said: “See, Barack been, um, talking down to black people on this faith-based – I wanna cut his nuts out. … Barack – he’s talking down to black people — telling n——s how to behave.” Bill O’Reilly, who broke the original story said they didn’t use this part because it was unnecessary. He called the person who leaked this (they don’t know who it is…yet) a “weasel” (that’s the pot calling the kettle black, Billy!) and then put the fear of God in us all but especially the poor sniveling soul that will eventually be homeless and miserable– “I have the waterboard over here. … We’ll find out.” As some of my friends say, “things that are unsurprising.”  You can read what I had to say before we learned Jesse dropped the N-bomb here.

But speaking of Barack, he pulled in a mere $52 Million for this quarter. No big deal. The Wonkette headline made me giggle: Hope Rides In On A $52 Million Unicorn. I assume the unicorn reference came from JibJab’s new video, which you can watch if you click here. Thoughts? Not as good as the Bush/Kerry one from 2004. But whatev.

One woman went for 20 years not knowing she had two monstrous tumors. When I say monstrous, I mean it. The tumors were just removed and she is now 140 lbs. lighter. ONE HUNDRED AND FORTY POUNDS. Damn, girl. Maybe there are two tumors where my love handles are? I should get that checked out.

Tonight should be amazing for political dorks who love great American pastimes in DC. It is the yearly Congressional baseball game, where all the politicians look to appear cool and revert back to their high school days. That’s right, the Republican congressmen and the Democratic congressmen, in a rivalry almost as intense as the Red Sox and Yankees, play each other. This is usually humiliating for the Dems, as the Republicans win every year. BUT DEMOCRATS ARE GOOD AT SPORTS TOO, OKAY?!

In TeeVee news, Scrubs is coming back for another season! Hoooray! Katherine Heigl managed to keep her miserable character on Grey’s for another season.

And for movies, The Dark Knight opens soon. Read anything on it, and they tell you that Heath was amazing. HEEEEEEEEEATH. WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY. I can’t wait. Also, Mal posted about ScarJo’s singing, so I felt this is a little relevant: Defamer made a list of the Top Ten Unlikely Vocal Performances from Non-Singing Actors. Ugh, I HATE Tom Cruise. He deserves to be on no list other than Top Creepiest Person of All Time.

Happy news stalking!

[Posted by Kathleen]

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i’ve got a crush on obama.

I am completely and utterly Barackupied. Those who know me know this. I received more phone calls and texts when Obama secured the Democratic nomination than I did on my birthday. And that is totally okay with me.

When you’re extremely involved in politics, you feel like you are on a first name basis with your candidate. It’s almost as if you are dating. But not, because that’s real creepy.

It still has many traits of a real relationship though:

Your friends begin to wonder where you are.
Ex-“Where is she? She said she was going to be here! Oh that’s right, she’s with HIM again.”

You are smitten. And when you are with your friends, you can find little else to talk about. You keep going until you see them roll their eyes. And even then, it’s hard to stop.
Ex-“Do you know what Barack did today? He gave hope to the entire world and then cured cancer! Isn’t he just so great?!”

You stalk him on Facebook and Google his name. When he loses, you feel like a loser. And when he wins, you feel like the wind beneath his wings. Cue the music.

You get mad at him when he messes up. It’s all you can think about and you’re embarrassed to tell your friends because you want them to like him. But word travels fast and they call you up to see how you’re doing. You scream at him via CNN, “WHY, OH WHY DID YOU HAVE TO SAY THAT?”

But you stand by your man. Then he does something so wonderful (like this) that you forget all about the pettiness and minor slip ups, and remember why you fell in love with him in the first place-the right stance on the issues that matter to you and the ability to really make a difference and really change the world.

I was furious when this came out because this was TOTALLY my idea. But I’m okay with it now.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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Filed under crushes, politics