Tag Archives: joe the plumber

joe the plumber says he’s “horny”.

As much as I hate to contribute to it by writing about it, I’m always interested when Joe the Plumber manages to extend his 15 minutes of fame– even if only for a millisecond.  How on earth does he do it?!  Well this new JTP blip on the media screen is fairly hilarious.  Thank you WashPo’s The Sleuth for the important news!  Joe recently spoke at the Media Research Center’s “DisHonors Awards”.  I know you’re DYING to know what that is; it sounds gripping!  Apparently all the people who hate democracy get in one room to slam the liberal media.  Doesn’t that sound fun?  Umm…boooooooring.  So good old Joe the Plumber/Journalist gets up there to accept some bogus award about really sticking it to the socialists.  Naturally, the neocons are clapping for this pure paradigm.  He eloquently expresses his humble appreciation:

“God, all this love and everything in the room – I’m horny,” declared Joe, whose real name is Samuel Wurzelbacher.

And cue the chirping crickets.  Rawr?

When you get that special feeling, Joe, you should just go on home, slip into something more comfortable (but really, is there anything more comfortable than the JTP flannel shirt?  I don’t think so!), light some cheap smelling candles, pour yourself a fine glass of boxed wine and run a nice bubbly wubbly bubble bath for yourself.  But for the love of all things holy and sacred, DO NOT tell your sexually oppressed conservative friends how you feel!

I was going to go off on a HUGE multiple-paragraph tangent about the so-called liberal media but I’m going to keep this as short as possible…aka one paragraph.  Guess what, folks?  The liberal media smear is spin concocted to protect the Bush Administration and its followers from the press.  By turning the American people against the press, the news stories– which contained the truth — were seen as biased and became irrelevant.  But reporting on the horrors of war and unveiling the lies of the government is not liberal bias, it’s the job of the press.  Take Rachel Maddow and Keith Olbermann out of the equation now, please, because they have equal and opposite forces named O’Reilly and Hannity.  We’re talking about the journalists whose names you do not know.  There is an unspoken vow among journalists to bring the truth to the people– a sort of Hippocratic Oath, if you will.  Challenging and questioning a president, Congress, the government, or taking on the rest of the media?  That is their function in society.  If the media were so liberal, we would have had a Democratic president years ago.  Trust me.  I’m appalled that the liberal media excuse and tactic is still being used and people are still buying it.  (McCain lost.  Sarah Palin sucked.  Get over it.  It was their fault.)  Now that Obama is president, the press will do its job to report everything that goes on.  In fact, Obama seems to be losing the media fight when it comes to selling his economic plan, is he not?  Not so liberal afterall…And I’m spent!

Now back to the important stuff.  A most appropriate music video in honor of JTP:

And one last uber-serious thought:  Has Akon ever sang about something other than sexytime?

[Posted by Kathleen]

Advertisements

2 Comments

Filed under blogging, celebrities, humor, news, politics, pop culture, random, sex, the hill, thoughts, Uncategorized, YouTube

joe the plumber, great american journalist.

plumber_add

As Mallory reported earlier, Joe the Plumber is now Joe the Reporter, reporting from Israel.  For Pajama Media, whatever that is. (I frequently blog from my bed, am I part of Pajama Media?)  Essentially, after watching one of his videos, I would ever-so-kindly, but bluntly, suggest that he stick to plumbing.  Let’s take a look at it, shall we?  Watch Joe the Buffoon give his version of the straight talk to the media (and be a huge horse’s ass) here.  Best part is how he says “I’m not the story”, (as he points to the dude with the Kenny G. hair in a ponytail.  That hair is newsworthy.) but clearly, he is.  And that’s how he likes it.

Somehow, this joker managed to get about two solid weeks of press attention.  The first time was just chance, but every time after that, it was because he wanted it.  Ooh, Joe is going on the campaign trail with McCain!  Ooh, Joe isn’t ruling out a run for Congress in 2010!  Ooh, Joe just got an agent!  Now, if he didn’t want publicity, why would he hire an agent?  After all, he’s just a regular guy!  My favorite Joe moment, up until now though, was after the election when Joe decided to backstab McCain and Palin.  Yup, that got him another 15 minutes of fame.

So here is the transcription of him confronting “The Media”. Dun dun dun…

JOE: The story here is people are being killed and the media’s slanting it and trying to make it Hamas is, uh, as far as, that Israel’s being bad. Do you believe Israel is bad?

Oooh!  Good question, Joe! Has Israel been naughty?

REPORTER: Do I believe it?

JOE: Yeah, do you?!

Do ya, punk?

REPORTER: I’m Israeli, so…

JOE: So answer the question!

Objection!  The reporter is badgering the…reporter!

REPORTER: No, I don’t think Israel is bad.

JOE: Do you think Israel has every right to protect itself?

REPORTER: Yeah.

[pause]

JOE: You do?!

REPORTER: Yeah.

It’s called preparation, Joe.  It’s quite simple.  You see, if you think of questions beforehand, you don’t have to stall and have awkward pauses.

JOE: Have you said that on air?

REPORTER: I’m just a reporter.

Yeah, Joe.  You really nailed this one.

Ahhh, and that is why I cannot be a reporter.  Because being able to have public opinions about things, such as Joe the Plumber, is just too much fun to pass up.

[Posted by Kathleen]

Leave a comment

Filed under blogging, celebrities, humor, news, politics, pop culture, random, thoughts, travel, weird

when our work’s done for us.

Um,

Joe the Plumber becomes war reporter.”

That is funniest six-word headline I’ve seen all year! Because it is a joke! Right? Right? RIGHT?!

Ha ha ha ha no. It’s not a joke. Our economy has tanked, a hockey mom who doesn’t know a predicate from a condom was selected as a vice presidential candidate, and Joe the Plumber is going to Israel to be a war correspondent. 

According to Wonkette and the Australian newspaper that penned that knee-slapper of a six-word headline, Joe the Plumber is headed to Israel on the behalf of Pajamas Media to report on the recent outbreak of conflict in the Gaza Strip:

Wurzelbacher said he was going to let “Average Joes” share their stories and get the real story of what is happening.

“It’s tragic, I mean it really is,” Wurzelbacher told Ohio television station WNWO.

“I don’t say that in any little way. It’s very tragic, but at the same time what are the Israeli people supposed to do?” 

Wurzelbacher said he was not concerned about heading into a warzone for a 10 days. 

“Being a Christian I’m pretty well protected by God I believe. That’s not saying he’s going to stop a mortar for me, but you gotta take the chance,” he told WNWO.

And then, as if he has been taking public speaking lessons from Sarah Palin herself, he continues:

“If given the opportunity to do some good however minute it may be, or could be something really good, you gotta take that chance. You have to do it,” Wurzelbacher said of his new job.

Excuse me while I go put on my nightgown

[Posted by Mallory]

2 Comments

Filed under humor, news, politics, pop culture

whatever happened to good ol’ ralph?

I hate that I am posting so many article links without much commentary, but this is a pretty busy couple of days for me. Posting quick excerpts and links is a way for me to feel like I’m still involving myself and this blog in some sort of discussion, because obviously there are a LOT of things to be discussed right now. 

MSNBC’S First Read had a blurb in its afternoon political roundup today that I found pretty compelling:

At a rally at the University of Maryland, Independent Party candidate Ralph Nader criticized the way the media covers the presidential race, citing the fact that Joe the Plumber has gotten more political coverage than the Nader-Gonzalez tandem.

Of course you could make a lot of points on either side of the question of Ralph v. Joe, but it’s a question worth thinking about. Read a little more here.

[Posted by Mallory]

Leave a comment

Filed under news, politics, random, thoughts

palin pals around with democratic donkeys.

And by pals around, I mean wears them around her neck.  I can’t help but wonder if this was part of the $150,000 the RNC (AKA those who donated to the RNC–don’t you feel hoodwinked?) paid for.

The main point of this post was to point out how clueless Palin is.  I mean, the woman is legit wearing a scarf that screams vote Democratic.  (Where can I get me one of those?!)  Buuuut since I have your attention, let’s talk about that $150,000.

So much for being a small town hockey mom, eh?  That’s probably twice as much, if not more, than Joe the fake plumber makes in a year.  That’s more than a college education.  That’s health care for a small business.  That’s a ton of money to spend on clothes.

So I think the argument of Republicans being fiscally conservative is now thrown out the window.  Because, oh girl, some of those clothes…I could have gotten at Forever21 for twenty bucks.  And if I wanted to go “upscale”, I could still find them at Macy’s.  On sale.  Those clothes are pretty basic.  So we all know what the Republicans and Sarah Palin choose to do with their money.  They are not bargain shoppers.  I mean, look at the national debt.

What would you do with $150,000?  Where do your priorities lie?

How dare she talk about relating to Americans struggling to pay their bills and get their kids through school.  How dare she?  Oh doggone it, you betcha that Joe Six Pack doesn’t go on shopping sprees with the RNC’s plastic.

UPDATED:  From Politico, here is Johnny’s defense of the $150,000.

“She needed clothes at the time,” McCain told a group of Florida reporters.

And now, to add on to tragedy that is Sarah Palin, let me just attach a supposed copy of her report card and SAT scores, compliments of one of our DC correspondents.

OUCH.  Baby girl didn’t even break a thousand.

Sorry for ranting a bit.  I’m all fired up.

[Posted by Kathleen]

11 Comments

Filed under blogging, celebrities, fashion, money, news, politics, pop culture, random, thoughts