Guys, I’ve had so many thoughts in my head that I’ve wanted to tell you about, but instead of telling them to you, I watch Super Size Me (ten years after the rest of the country) and fall asleep. Sorry about that. The good news is that Google Holidays keep me on track. They taunt me, saying “YOU CAN’T IGNORE ME. YOU MUST BLOG ABOUT ME.” And I oblige, because I’m not one to mess with the Google.
Google Holiday: Happy St. Patrick’s Day. As you might have suspected, Google is honoring America’s favorite excuse to day drink and wear green hats that look like beer steins. (Hypothetically speaking, of course.) Since I celebrated my St. Patty’s Day approximately three years ago up in Hoboken — and since I have “school” and “a job” — I’m taking it easy today, just cold wearing green pants and going about my day as usual.
What I was Googling: tostitos salsa ingredients. I’ve surely mentioned here before that I love salsa. If DC legalizes marriage between a human and a condiment, I’m running down to the city court with a jumbo-sized jar of Tostitos Chunky Salsa Medium. Not that I’m picky. I love almost every salsa I’ve ever tasted, and though I eat it in frightening quanties (like, say, half a jar on a pair of scrambled eggs. Did I just admit that publicly?), I figure there are worst things I could be addicted to. Like heroin, or McDonald’s. (Am I right, Morgan Spurlock?!)
But then I read this article in the NYT, and it made me feel all inauthentic for loving mass-produced American brands just as much as I love the salsa from the amazing hole-in-the-wall taco place around the corner from work (where I’m eating lunch today, HUZZAH!). This opening section, in particular, bothered me:
“Everybody here thinks they know what Mexican food is,” said Nicholas Cox, the chef at La Esquina in NoLIta. “Especially if they’re from Texas or California.” (Ed. note: Ha! So true.)
Salsa, in particular, has emerged as Mexico’s most misunderstood culinary export. In Paris, Mexican restaurants make it with minced cornichon pickles and ketchup; in Japan, with green shishito peppers and Kewpie mayonnaise; in American factories, with corn syrup and red bell peppers.
In the spirit of all things Morgan Spurlock and Food, Inc., does my salsa have CORN SYRUP in it?! If it did, I’m not sure that I would really care and/or change anything about my salsa habits, but I became determined to find out the truth. And damn, Tostitos makes it a challenge to find out what’s in their salsa. I pored over their website, Googled like a mad woman, read a few blogs, and finally discovered that Tostitos Chunky Medium Salsa is nothing but tomato puree, diced tomatoes in tomato juice, jalapeno peppers, onions, vinegar, salt, garlic powder, and natural flavor. (Thanks to Off Her Cork for answering that one for me.) And while natural flavor might be a leetle sketchy, this makes me feel okay about the fact that I ate crackers dipped in salsa for dinner last night. Or, at least, as okay as I could be with that level of pathetic-ness.
I guess what I’m trying to say here is HAPPY ST. PATRICK’S DAY! Pound some Guinnesses and listen to this song on repeat, because it’s the best:
[Posted by Mallory]