Tag Archives: dying

by | September 10, 2008 · 4:59 am

law and order makes us fat.

According to a recent study, I could place the blame on Law and Order and all 17 of its spin-offs for the fact that I eat a lot.  I’m not kidding.  Law and Order, and other crime shows, apparently makes us eat a lot.  I am an avid Law and Order fan–uh oh.

In the study, titled “The Sweet Escape,” researchers conducted four experiments revealing that “consumers who have been recently reminded of their own impending mortality” spend more on groceries — and actually eat more of those groceries.

Oooh, clever title.  Anyway, Law and Order and others are the catalysts for reminding us of our own impending mortality?  What?  Whatev.

“We found that when people think about the fact that they’re going to die someday — not now, but someday — they want to consume more of everything,” says Naomi Mandel, co-author of the study and an associate professor of marketing at Arizona State University. “We find this with snacks and drinks but also all kinds of different foods: frozen foods, meats, vegetables, everything.”

And they connect this to Law and Order.  I can’t believe they spent money on this study.  I have, in my opinion, a better theory to explain the connection between snacking and Law and Order.  None of this “impending death” mumbo jumbo.

Let’s look back to the experiments of scientist Ivan Pavlov.  He is known for his work with dogs, making them salivate at the sound of a bell.  Basically, it has to do with mental association.  He would ring a bell and give the dogs food.  Eventually, they would salivate at the sound of the bell with or without food present.

People like to snack when watching TV, right?  So swap out a bell for the signature Law and Order gavel DunDun noise and take away the food…voila!  We have been trained liked Pavlov’s dogs to feel hungry while watching Law and Order.  And being that Law and Order is on 22 out of the 24 hours in a day, this training does not take long to do.  Really, all it takes is one week of being sick and watching TV all day every day, or just a few weeks of watching one or two episodes a night.

That, my friends, is why we eat when we watch Law and Order.  That is why Law and Order makes us fat.

Just for fun, here is Sesame Street’s parody of Law and Order: SVU, Law and Order: Special Letters Unit.

Oh, and just because The Office is the BEST SHOW EVER and Jim is dreamy, dreamy, oh so steamy and smart, here is his Pavlov’s dogs trick on Dwight:

[Posted by Kathleen]

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by | September 1, 2008 · 7:55 am

diamonds are a girl’s dead friend.

Everyone has their own way of grieving after a loved one has passed away, but this walks the thin line between “do what you need to do to get by” and “that’s really weird”.  I’m just going to say it the bluntest way possible, because I don’t know how else to explain it.  You can turn dead people’s ashes into diamonds.  Yup.  They’re called remembrance diamonds.  If this is something you think you might be interested in, a company in Switzerland, called Algordanza, will help you out.  Imagine all the awkwardness that this could prompt!

Woman 1:  Those diamond earrings you’re wearing are just GORGEOUS!  Did your husband buy those for your anniversary?

Woman 2:  Oh no!  It’s my Great Uncle Walter!  He just died a few months ago.

Woman 1:  Ahh, I see.  So the diamonds are a family heirloom?

Woman 2:  No, the diamonds are literally my Great Uncle Walter.

Woman 1:  Errr…did you get the sympathy card I sent you a few months back?

And this bling does not come cheap.  Reuters gives us a figure around $7,488…sometimes less, sometimes more.  Eeek.

So what are people doing with these diamonds?  Obviously they turn them into jewelry or keep them in a box.  But one widow had a touching idea–mount the diamond into the table where her hubby used to sit at the local pub.  Of course!  If I’m ever turned into a diamond, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE place me at The Cellar.  (If you went to Richmond, you know what I’m talking about.)

So how popular are these things?

In its first year, 2004, the company sold one diamond. These days it is creating about 60 a month, which Brimer attributes to word-of-mouth recommendations and media coverage, as Algordanza does not advertise.

I was discussing this with my manly, bearded friend Neil.  Neil, who is pursuing his Masters in Marketing or something weird like that, said he could come up with a good pitch for remembrance diamonds if given some time.  The world is waiting, Neil.  This should be a toughie.  I encourage all readers to think of witty advertising for this and to post it as a comment.  Maybe someone could convince Lindsay Lohan to wear one.  Or Lil’ Jon can put them in his teeth or something.  That’s sure to jumpstart the trend.

As if this couldn’t get creepier, the technology to make diamonds from ashes can also be applied to make synthetic diamonds from other materials…such as hair.  SICK.

Bobby Thurman — of Nelson Funeral Service in Arkansas, which offers diamonds to both burial and cremation clients — decided to have LifeGem make a diamond from combined samples of his own and his family’s hair.

“My family will cherish this diamond for generations, and I expect other families will want to do the same,” Thurman said.

I’m expect most families DO NOT want to do the same, Bobby.  But whatev.

I’m sorry for the morbid six word title/subject, but I couldn’t let this go by without sharing it.  And the title is kind of clever, no?

[Posted by Kathleen]

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