Hi, remember me? Yeah, it’s been awhile. Sowwy.
Lots of things have contributed to my lack of posting (turns out I had swine flu!), but no need to dwell on the past (oink, oink). To the future!
There have been SO MANY THINGS I have wanted to post about, and my wonderful friends continue to send me quirky things on the interwebs that they know I will adore– like this video from my friend Laura. I think I’ve watched it five times.
Or this Web site, www.peopleofwalmart.com, which has been sent to me by faithful readers Miguel and Civil War Dave.
These times are crazier than ever. Jon and Kate do nothing but fight, Fox News’ Shep Smith is starting to sound like a socialist fascist communist Democrat, the Republicans are threatening to teabag the American people and Jessica Simpson’s dog was eaten by a coyote! Yikes! Those are clearly the most important things going on in the world today.
And as if life in general wasn’t dangerous enough, Alexander McQueen has decided to introduce TEN INCH high heels to the world:
Grosssssss. I don’t know, but something about them reminds me of giraffe hooves (I’m a nature girl), which is oddly appropriate. There are more, you can see them here.
But hey, at least one thing is right in this world. Jim and Pam are getting hitched tonight! RAWR!
[Posted by Kathleen]
Filed under animals, blogging, celebrities, fashion, humor, news, pictures, politics, pop culture, random, thoughts, weddings, weird
I can hear hearts all over the world breaking. John Krasinski, who plays the oh-so-lovable Jim Halpert on NBC’s The Office, is officially engaged to Emily Blunt. The two have been secretly dating since November.
See for yourselves. And here is one of my favorite Jim moments.
[Posted by Shannon]
Happy snow day for you east coasters! Here is a clever meshing of clips from The Office into a musical. I like it! I like it! I mean, I LOVE musicals (just ask my musical-hating college roommate…) and I LOVE The Office. Perfect? Plus, you’ll remember some of the scenes from the show and laugh out loud awkwardly to yourself. Or perhaps you are one of the unfortunate who had to go to work or school today. (I, by the way, am still doing neither.) Then, you will laugh out loud awkwardly to yourself around other people. Eek. Good luck with that.
[Posted by Kathleen. YES I KNOW IT’S BEEN AWHILE.]
Filed under blogging, celebrities, crushes, definitely not politics, humor, music, pop culture, rando, the arts, TV, YouTube
So after three glasses of wine, a delicious meal that someone else cooked for me, a gourmet cupcake, and 45 minutes of mediocre hilarity, JIM PROPOSED TO PAM! Yeah whatever maybe it was at a rest stop but it was perfect and I cried a little. Take a peek at the expert commentary I shared with my friend Doobie:
daniel: hey mallo bar
me: DOOBIE DID YOU WATCH??!!
daniel: uh, of course!
me: i may have teared up a little
daniel: im sorry, but that proposal was super lame
me: aw see i liked it!
it was spontaneous!
in its own way!
daniel: and totally weak
me: oh whatever.
The moral of the story is that Jim and Pam are perfect, and Sarah Palin is the worst human alive ever.
UPDATE (or the reason Doobie and I are no longer friends):
me: sir you are now famous because you are on the blog
daniel: hahahah woah, dont bring my future wife into the pictue
i would never propose to palin in that manner
daniel: i would do her up right, and hide a ring in her box of ammunition during our Adirondack hunting expedition. Then, as she took aim at the mammoth polar bear, she would see the glint of the diamond and fall deeply in love with me. (after she took down the bear with a headshot)
[Posted by Mallory]
To commemorate the return of The Office in just one short week (yay! Jim Halpert!), I am posting this amazing video. So watch it. It will make you feel warm and tingly inside…that’s what she said?
[Posted by Kathleen]
You people may not know this, but I am an extremely mature human being. (Perhaps you gathered that from my previous posts.) In fact, I am so mature that last night I went out and had only ONE glass of wine! This is historic! Sure, I may have also eaten Smartfood for not one but two meals earlier that day, and maybe I stole the wine I was drinking from my mom, and maybe I drank my glass of wine while trying to one-up my new Denver friends with fratty college stories, but that is beside the point. And the point is, I drank in moderation and then went to work the next day. Which means I am basically an adult.
Speaking of work, guess what I did today? I know what you’re thinking, but I didn’t get a chance to end the war in Iraq or invent a kind of cheese that doesn’t make you fat (there’s always tomorrow). I did, however, get to stuff checks into envelopes for nearly six hours. The thing is, I was REALLY good at stuffing the checks into the envelopes. I don’t mean to brag, but other people actually complimented me on my speed. Just saying. Perhaps I’ll nix the grad school plan and find a way to use my envelope-stuffing skills full time.
Anyway, here’s a photo of my coworker and me taking a break:
In other news, it’s almost Friday! YAY!
[Posted by Mallory]
After a grueling spring semester with no new episodes of The Office or Ugly Betty due to a writers’ strike that I only partially understood (although the picture above does a pretty good job of explaining things), it looks like actors may be poised to strike this summer. Now, I don’t know a whole lot about unions, or strikes in general (except my mom’s own experience with striking nurses a while ago, and all I remember from that is that she was pissed because she didn’t want to strike), but it seems like an actor’s list of grievances would pale in comparison to the grievances of, say, a coal miner. And on top of that, how do they expect people to survive without television? If I can’t hang out with Jim Halpert and Betty Suarez and Eli Stone, what I am I supposed to do? Talk to REAL people? Go outside?? This is the 21st century, people. We need our TV.
At least we have Netflix. Netflix and Blush Chablis.
[Posted by Mallory]
As I’ve mentioned, this summer I have been putting my college degree to good use by temping as a receptionist. Things can get pretty boring when the phones aren’t ringing and no one’s on gchat, so I have had to find more creative ways to keep myself occupied (mostly just by lowering my standards of things I find entertaining). My favorite activity is imagining that my office is actually as fun as Dunder Mifflin’s Scranton branch, complete with all of the characters. As a receptionist-temp, I’m a Pam-Ryan hybrid, minus Pam’s Jim (bummer, I know), and Ryan’s douchebagginess. This week my boss is kind of a Toby, a friendly low-talker. I really wish we had a Creed around here to keep things interesting.
Along with mastering Pam’s friendly, perky phone voice, I’ve learned a lot from my work as a receptionist. For starters, that I’m never supposed to actually call myself a receptionist. I am the all-important “Office Manager.” Maybe I’ll get business cards. I also finally learned how to work a fax machine, which is huge, and my rate of accidentally hanging up on people when using the fancy office phones has dramatically decreased. (Speaking of office technology, did you know that there’s a machine that folds letters in thirds for you? How great is that?!) I’ve learned how to say goodbye in secretary language: “Mmm buh-bye.” And that people have some really great names: I’ve spoken to a man with the last name of McCool, a dentist named Dr. Wyte (I have money on the fact that he made that up), a technician named James Bond, a fellow receptionist named Echo, and my friend got an email from my favorite so far, a Dr. Booger. Isn’t it fun being so immature?
One more thing:
[Posted by Mallory]