Tag Archives: pam beesly

by | September 26, 2008 · 3:31 am

“yes.” (that’s what she said. zing!)

SPOILER ALERT!

So after three glasses of wine, a delicious meal that someone else cooked for me, a gourmet cupcake, and 45 minutes of mediocre hilarity, JIM PROPOSED TO PAM! Yeah whatever maybe it was at a rest stop but it was perfect and I cried a little. Take a peek at the expert commentary I shared with my friend Doobie:

daniel: hey mallo bar
me: DOOBIE DID YOU WATCH??!!
daniel: uh, of course!
me: i may have teared up a little
daniel: im sorry, but that proposal was super lame
me: aw see i liked it!
it was spontaneous!
and romantic!
in its own way!
daniel: and totally weak
me: oh whatever.
daniel: girls

The moral of the story is that Jim and Pam are perfect, and Sarah Palin is the worst human alive ever.

UPDATE (or the reason Doobie and I are no longer friends):

me: sir you are now famous because you are on the blog
daniel: hahahah woah, dont bring my future wife into the pictue
i would never propose to palin in that manner
daniel: i would do her up right, and hide a ring in her box of ammunition during our Adirondack hunting expedition. Then, as she took aim at the mammoth polar bear, she would see the glint of the diamond and fall deeply in love with me. (after she took down the bear with a headshot)

Sigh.

[Posted by Mallory]

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Filed under crushes, humor, TV, weddings

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by | July 24, 2008 · 10:18 pm

on bears, beets, and battlestar galactica.

You people may not know this, but I am an extremely mature human being. (Perhaps you gathered that from my previous posts.) In fact, I am so mature that last night I went out and had only ONE glass of wine! This is historic! Sure, I may have also eaten Smartfood for not one but two meals earlier that day, and maybe I stole the wine I was drinking from my mom, and maybe I drank my glass of wine while trying to one-up my new Denver friends with fratty college stories, but that is beside the point. And the point is, I drank in moderation and then went to work the next day. Which means I am basically an adult.

Speaking of work, guess what I did today? I know what you’re thinking, but I didn’t get a chance to end the war in Iraq or invent a kind of cheese that doesn’t make you fat (there’s always tomorrow). I did, however, get to stuff checks into envelopes for nearly six hours. The thing is, I was REALLY good at stuffing the checks into the envelopes. I don’t mean to brag, but other people actually complimented me on my speed. Just saying. Perhaps I’ll nix the grad school plan and find a way to use my envelope-stuffing skills full time.

Anyway, here’s a photo of my coworker and me taking a break:

In other news, it’s almost Friday! YAY!

[Posted by Mallory]

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Filed under drinks, post-college depression, random

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by | June 20, 2008 · 5:59 pm

ahem. dunder mifflin, this is pam.

God

As I’ve mentioned, this summer I have been putting my college degree to good use by temping as a receptionist. Things can get pretty boring when the phones aren’t ringing and no one’s on gchat, so I have had to find more creative ways to keep myself occupied (mostly just by lowering my standards of things I find entertaining). My favorite activity is imagining that my office is actually as fun as Dunder Mifflin’s Scranton branch, complete with all of the characters. As a receptionist-temp, I’m a Pam-Ryan hybrid, minus Pam’s Jim (bummer, I know), and Ryan’s douchebagginess. This week my boss is kind of a Toby, a friendly low-talker. I really wish we had a Creed around here to keep things interesting.
 
Along with mastering Pam’s friendly, perky phone voice, I’ve learned a lot from my work as a receptionist. For starters, that I’m never supposed to actually call myself a receptionist. I am the all-important “Office Manager.” Maybe I’ll get business cards. I also finally learned how to work a fax machine, which is huge, and my rate of accidentally hanging up on people when using the fancy office phones has dramatically decreased. (Speaking of office technology, did you know that there’s a machine that folds letters in thirds for you? How great is that?!) I’ve learned how to say goodbye in secretary language: “Mmm buh-bye.” And that people have some really great names: I’ve spoken to a man with the last name of McCool, a dentist named Dr. Wyte (I have money on the fact that he made that up), a technician named James Bond, a fellow receptionist named Echo, and my friend got an email from my favorite so far, a Dr. Booger. Isn’t it fun being so immature?

One more thing:

Yummy

YUM.

[Posted by Mallory]

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