by Mallory |
July 24, 2008 · 10:18 pm
You people may not know this, but I am an extremely mature human being. (Perhaps you gathered that from my previous posts.) In fact, I am so mature that last night I went out and had only ONE glass of wine! This is historic! Sure, I may have also eaten Smartfood for not one but two meals earlier that day, and maybe I stole the wine I was drinking from my mom, and maybe I drank my glass of wine while trying to one-up my new Denver friends with fratty college stories, but that is beside the point. And the point is, I drank in moderation and then went to work the next day. Which means I am basically an adult.
Speaking of work, guess what I did today? I know what you’re thinking, but I didn’t get a chance to end the war in Iraq or invent a kind of cheese that doesn’t make you fat (there’s always tomorrow). I did, however, get to stuff checks into envelopes for nearly six hours. The thing is, I was REALLY good at stuffing the checks into the envelopes. I don’t mean to brag, but other people actually complimented me on my speed. Just saying. Perhaps I’ll nix the grad school plan and find a way to use my envelope-stuffing skills full time.
Anyway, here’s a photo of my coworker and me taking a break:
In other news, it’s almost Friday! YAY!
[Posted by Mallory]
Filed under drinks, post-college depression, random
Tagged as being incredibly mature, check stuffing, drinking, drinking in moderation, dunder mifflin, important jobs, jim halpert, maturity, pam beesly, someone find me an apartment in DC, the office, wine, work
by Mallory |
July 3, 2008 · 10:48 pm
This week I’ve been working evenings as a receptionist, which makes for a pretty boring job because no one calls corporate offices at night. As long as I answer the phones, I’m allowed to play on the internet (read: blog), watch TV, and read. Last night, once most people were gone from the office, I put on the show that has become my summertime obsession: Jon and Kate Plus 8. For those of you who are missing out on this brilliant show, let me give a brief synopsis: Two perfect people named Jon and Kate got married, couldn’t get pregnant on their own, and turned to fertility treatments for help. They had twin girls, and luckily one of them is nice. Then Jon and Kate wanted one more baby, but they accidentally had six at once, all of whom are perfect and adorable little biracial children. The show is about nothing more than their daily life, but somehow it is absolutely riveting. You can find a marathon on TLC pretty much every day. My sister got me hooked during a marathon back at the beginning of the summer, and I’m officially addicted. For a while, I was embarrassed about this addiction, but I’ve discovered that pretty much everyone secretly loves the show. I was most comforted to learn that my friend’s 26-year-old boyfriend and his roommates watch it whenever they can.
The point is, I love Jon and Kate. That’s why last night, when the head security guy at my work tried to tell me that Jon and Kate are bad parents, I took serious personal offense. I think that the Jon and Kate Debate of ’08 (don’t judge me, I’m really bored) got me even angrier than the heated two-hour political discussion that followed it. (A sample: Him: “Ohh I guess you’re one of those people who believes in global warming…” Me: “Global warming is not Santa Claus! It’s not the notion that Jesus rose from the dead! It’s not something you BELIEVE in, it’s scientific fact!”) I won’t go into any more details, but let the record show that the Gosselins deserve to be sainted, the show is genius, and I currently plotting to kidnap Aaden. Also, I might have to marry an Asian man so that my kids look like that. To put ourselves in an even better mood leading into this three-day weekend, let’s look at more pictures of my favorite TV family:
Aaden, come with me. I have candy.
P.S. Kathleen says she is going to write a post about how Jon and Kate don’t love each other. But don’t listen to her. She’s lying and she doesn’t know what she’s talking about. Jon and Kate are perfect.
[Posted by Mallory]
Filed under babies, TV
Tagged as aaden, answering phones, biracial children, global warming, jon and kate, jon and kate plus 8, kathleen is a liar, perfection, sextuplets, the gosselins, TLC, TV, twins, work