diamonds are a girl’s dead friend.

Everyone has their own way of grieving after a loved one has passed away, but this walks the thin line between “do what you need to do to get by” and “that’s really weird”.  I’m just going to say it the bluntest way possible, because I don’t know how else to explain it.  You can turn dead people’s ashes into diamonds.  Yup.  They’re called remembrance diamonds.  If this is something you think you might be interested in, a company in Switzerland, called Algordanza, will help you out.  Imagine all the awkwardness that this could prompt!

Woman 1:  Those diamond earrings you’re wearing are just GORGEOUS!  Did your husband buy those for your anniversary?

Woman 2:  Oh no!  It’s my Great Uncle Walter!  He just died a few months ago.

Woman 1:  Ahh, I see.  So the diamonds are a family heirloom?

Woman 2:  No, the diamonds are literally my Great Uncle Walter.

Woman 1:  Errr…did you get the sympathy card I sent you a few months back?

And this bling does not come cheap.  Reuters gives us a figure around $7,488…sometimes less, sometimes more.  Eeek.

So what are people doing with these diamonds?  Obviously they turn them into jewelry or keep them in a box.  But one widow had a touching idea–mount the diamond into the table where her hubby used to sit at the local pub.  Of course!  If I’m ever turned into a diamond, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE place me at The Cellar.  (If you went to Richmond, you know what I’m talking about.)

So how popular are these things?

In its first year, 2004, the company sold one diamond. These days it is creating about 60 a month, which Brimer attributes to word-of-mouth recommendations and media coverage, as Algordanza does not advertise.

I was discussing this with my manly, bearded friend Neil.  Neil, who is pursuing his Masters in Marketing or something weird like that, said he could come up with a good pitch for remembrance diamonds if given some time.  The world is waiting, Neil.  This should be a toughie.  I encourage all readers to think of witty advertising for this and to post it as a comment.  Maybe someone could convince Lindsay Lohan to wear one.  Or Lil’ Jon can put them in his teeth or something.  That’s sure to jumpstart the trend.

As if this couldn’t get creepier, the technology to make diamonds from ashes can also be applied to make synthetic diamonds from other materials…such as hair.  SICK.

Bobby Thurman — of Nelson Funeral Service in Arkansas, which offers diamonds to both burial and cremation clients — decided to have LifeGem make a diamond from combined samples of his own and his family’s hair.

“My family will cherish this diamond for generations, and I expect other families will want to do the same,” Thurman said.

I’m expect most families DO NOT want to do the same, Bobby.  But whatev.

I’m sorry for the morbid six word title/subject, but I couldn’t let this go by without sharing it.  And the title is kind of clever, no?

[Posted by Kathleen]