Tag Archives: campaign 2008

talk to your parents about mccain.

Get it?  It’s like an anti-drug commercial?  Teehee.

And my obsession with Blake Lively thrives.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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bartlet, meet obama. obama, meet bartlet.

This comes via NJ correspondent, Madeline.  Maureen Dowd had a stroke of genius and asked Aaron Sorkin to write the scene (aka write her column for her) of a meeting between Barack Obama and the fictional (sadly) president from the West Wing, Jed Bartlet.  For the record, Jed Bartlet is from New Hampshire.

Anyway, here it is.  Straight from the New York Times.

BARACK OBAMA knocks on the front door of a 300-year-old New Hampshire farmhouse while his Secret Service detail waits in the driveway. The door opens and OBAMA is standing face to face with former President JED BARTLET.

BARTLET Senator.

OBAMA Mr. President.

BARTLET You seem startled.

OBAMA I didn’t expect you to answer the door yourself.

BARTLET I didn’t expect you to be getting beat by John McCain and a Lancôme rep who thinks “The Flintstones” was based on a true story, so let’s call it even.

OBAMA Yes, sir.

BARTLET Come on in.

BARTLET leads OBAMA into his study.

BARTLET That was a hell of a convention.

OBAMA Thank you, I was proud of it.

BARTLET I meant the Republicans. The Us versus Them-a-thon. As a Democrat I was surprised to learn that I don’t like small towns, God, people with jobs or America. I’ve been a little out of touch but is there a mandate that the vice president be skilled at field dressing a moose –

OBAMA Look –

BARTLET – and selling Air Force Two on eBay?

OBAMA Joke all you want, Mr. President, but it worked.

BARTLET Imagine my surprise. What can I do for you, kid?

OBAMA I’m interested in your advice.

BARTLET I can’t give it to you.

OBAMA Why not?

BARTLET I’m supporting McCain.

OBAMA Why?

BARTLET He’s promised to eradicate evil and that was always on my “to do” list.

OBAMA O.K. –

BARTLET And he’s surrounded himself, I think, with the best possible team to get us out of an economic crisis. Why, Sarah Palin just said Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac had “gotten too big and too expensive to the taxpayers.” Can you spot the error in that statement?

OBAMA Yes, Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac aren’t funded by taxpayers.

BARTLET Well, at least they are now. Kind of reminds you of the time Bush said that Social Security wasn’t a government program. He was only off by a little – Social Security is the largest government program.

OBAMA I appreciate your sense of humor, sir, but I really could use your advice.

BARTLET Well, it seems to me your problem is a lot like the problem I had twice.

OBAMA Which was?

BARTLET A huge number of Americans thought I thought I was superior to them.

OBAMA And?

BARTLET I was.

OBAMA I mean, how did you overcome that?

BARTLET I won’t lie to you, being fictional was a big advantage.

OBAMA What do you mean?

BARTLET I’m a fictional president. You’re dreaming right now, Senator.

OBAMA I’m asleep?

BARTLET Yes, and you’re losing a ton of white women.

OBAMA Yes, sir.

BARTLET I mean tons.

OBAMA I understand.

BARTLET I didn’t even think there were that many white women.

OBAMA I see the numbers, sir. What do they want from me?

BARTLET I’ve been married to a white woman for 40 years and I still don’t know what she wants from me.

OBAMA How did you do it?

BARTLET Well, I say I’m sorry a lot.

OBAMA I don’t mean your marriage, sir. I mean how did you get America on your side?

BARTLET There again, I didn’t have to be president of America, I just had to be president of the people who watched “The West Wing.”

OBAMA That would make it easier.

BARTLET You’d do very well on NBC. Thursday nights in the old “ER” time slot with “30 Rock” as your lead-in, you’d get seven, seven-five in the demo with a 20, 22 share – you’d be selling $450,000 minutes.

OBAMA What the hell does that mean?

BARTLET TV talk. I thought you’d be interested.

OBAMA I’m not. They pivoted off the argument that I was inexperienced to the criticism that I’m – wait for it – the Messiah, who, by the way, was a community organizer. When I speak I try to lead with inspiration and aptitude. How is that a liability?

BARTLET Because the idea of American exceptionalism doesn’t extend to Americans being exceptional. If you excelled academically and are able to casually use 690 SAT words then you might as well have the press shoot video of you giving the finger to the Statue of Liberty while the Dixie Chicks sing the University of the Taliban fight song. The people who want English to be the official language of the United States are uncomfortable with their leaders being fluent in it.

OBAMA You’re saying race doesn’t have anything to do with it?

BARTLET I wouldn’t go that far. Brains made me look arrogant but they make you look uppity. Plus, if you had a black daughter –

OBAMA I have two.

BARTLET – who was 17 and pregnant and unmarried and the father was a teenager hoping to launch a rap career with “Thug Life” inked across his chest, you’d come in fifth behind Bob Barr, Ralph Nader and a ficus.

OBAMA You’re not cheering me up.

BARTLET Is that what you came here for?

OBAMA No, but it wouldn’t kill you.

BARTLET Have you tried doing a two-hour special or a really good Christmas show?

OBAMA Sir –

BARTLET Hang on. Home run. Right here. Is there any chance you could get Michelle pregnant before the fall sweeps?

OBAMA The problem is we can’t appear angry. Bush called us the angry left. Did you see anyone in Denver who was angry?

BARTLET Well … let me think. …We went to war against the wrong country, Osama bin Laden just celebrated his seventh anniversary of not being caught either dead or alive, my family’s less safe than it was eight years ago, we’ve lost trillions of dollars, millions of jobs, thousands of lives and we lost an entire city due to bad weather. So, you know … I’m a little angry.

OBAMA What would you do?

BARTLET GET ANGRIER! Call them liars, because that’s what they are. Sarah Palin didn’t say “thanks but no thanks” to the Bridge to Nowhere. She just said “Thanks.” You were raised by a single mother on food stamps – where does a guy with eight houses who was legacied into Annapolis get off calling you an elitist? And by the way, if you do nothing else, take that word back. Elite is a good word, it means well above average. I’d ask them what their problem is with excellence. While you’re at it, I want the word “patriot” back. McCain can say that the transcendent issue of our time is the spread of Islamic fanaticism or he can choose a running mate who doesn’t know the Bush doctrine from the Monroe Doctrine, but he can’t do both at the same time and call it patriotic. They have to lie – the truth isn’t their friend right now. Get angry. Mock them mercilessly; they’ve earned it. McCain decried agents of intolerance, then chose a running mate who had to ask if she was allowed to ban books from a public library. It’s not bad enough she thinks the planet Earth was created in six days 6,000 years ago complete with a man, a woman and a talking snake, she wants schools to teach the rest of our kids to deny geology, anthropology, archaeology and common sense too? It’s not bad enough she’s forcing her own daughter into a loveless marriage to a teenage hood, she wants the rest of us to guide our daughters in that direction too? It’s not enough that a woman shouldn’t have the right to choose, it should be the law of the land that she has to carry and deliver her rapist’s baby too? I don’t know whether or not Governor Palin has the tenacity of a pit bull, but I know for sure she’s got the qualifications of one. And you’re worried about seeming angry? You could eat their lunch, make them cry and tell their mamas about it and God himself would call it restrained. There are times when you are simply required to be impolite. There are times when condescension is called for!

OBAMA Good to get that off your chest?

BARTLET Am I keeping you from something?

OBAMA Well, it’s not as if I didn’t know all of that and it took you like 20 minutes to say.

BARTLET I know, I have a problem, but admitting it is the first step.

OBAMA What’s the second step?

BARTLET I don’t care.

OBAMA So what about hope? Chuck it for outrage and put-downs?

BARTLET No. You’re elite, you can do both. Four weeks ago you had the best week of your campaign, followed – granted, inexplicably – by the worst week of your campaign. And you’re still in a statistical dead heat. You’re a 47-year-old black man with a foreign-sounding name who went to Harvard and thinks devotion to your country and lapel pins aren’t the same thing and you’re in a statistical tie with a war hero and a Cinemax heroine. To these aged eyes, Senator, that’s what progress looks like. You guys got four debates. Get out of my house and go back to work.

OBAMA Wait, what is it you always used to say? When you hit a bump on the show and your people were down and frustrated? You’d give them a pep talk and then you’d always end it with something. What was it …?

BARTLET “Break’s over.”

Thoughts?

I thought the best line was, “The people who want English to be the official language of the United States are uncomfortable with their leaders being fluent in it.”  Oh, Jed Bartlet.  So wise.

I miss the West Wing.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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sarah palin is mccain’s vp choice.

Interesting choice McCain. Sarah Palin is the governor of Alaska. And it’s so blatantly obvious that you’re fishing for Hilllllllz voters. But remember that sexism that Hillary faced? Yup. You’re going to alienate some of your base. Oh, and remember how you criticized Barack for being young and inexperienced? She hasn’t finished her first term as governor as Alaska. Hmmm. Is she ready to lead? Let the hypocrisy begin.

Okay, I chose a bad picture.

So she is kind of hot in that Tina Fey way. But Sarah Palin, I’d rather see Tina Fey in the White House than you. And Tina would never have those heinous bangs.

One last thought. If I were her, I’d be a little insulted. Because they don’t want her because of her, they chose her because she’s a woman and they’re aching to take away from Barack’s thunder.

UPDATED: Sarah Palin is under investigation for abuse of power. Click here to read the AP story.

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blogging from the dnc, day 2.

Alright, let’s just face it. Live blogging isn’t going to happen. It’s like end of the day round ups. Haha. And this isn’t really edited.

Hello from Denver! (I hate when people say stuff like that. Aloha from Hawaii! Hola from Mexico! My apologies for being annoying). Mal, I wish you were here. I’ve had quite the Democratic day and I think I’m glowing with Democratness. Seriously glowing. I also have blisters that look like moon craters on my feet. Note to self- wearing brand new shoes in attempts to look good is not a wise idea when you’re going to be walking around and standing on your feet all friggin’ day. HOW COME I DO NOT KNOW THESE THINGS?! Anyway, day two of the convention had a few differences from day one. Yesterday appeared to be a lovefest. Today was all about policy and stickin’ it to old Johnny McCain.

Anyway, busy busy day today! A little continental brekky and we were off. A good family friend lives in Denver and offered us the use of a car during our stay in Denver. Imagine my surprise when it was a big, red 1995 Dodge Durango. I wanted to put a sign that said “this is a actually a hybrid car” on the back–I felt so un-Democratic! Ummmm, where’s my Prius with a Barack sticker? All kidding aside, it was great to have the Durango, and cruising around in the Durango was an adventure for sure. Thank the sweet lord I wasn’t driving. It’s a legitimate tank.  Oh, this is funny.  We parked the Durango and then lost it.  Yup.  We weren’t entirely sure where big red was.  But we found it.  Eventually.

Our first big event of the day was Emily’s List. I’ve never been so fired up about having two X chromosomes. Speakers wise, it was the grand trifecta of girl power. Hillary Clinton, Nancy Pelosi, and Michelle Obama. I know, I was giddy. People went berserk when HRC stepped out. I mean seriously cra-crazy. She was good, giving shoutouts to Barack and Michelle, and acknowledging the tragic loss of Congresswoman Stephanie Tubbs Jones. (STJ was a huuuuuuuuuge Hillary supporter, but was good about getting behind Obama.) It was a solid Hillary speech. Nancy came out, and I must say, she looked lovely in lavendar. During her speech, one Code Pink wacko screeched “Why aren’t you woman enough to impeach?!” She was booed. For those that don’t know who Code Pink is, they’re a group of extremist women (and every now and then a dude) who wear all pink and yell about impeachment. When the group started, they were anti-war. That’s cool. But now they are so radical and obnoxious that they are counteractive. They get kicked out of every event because they’re disruptive and rude. And to address the impeachment thing, here’s an easy way to explain it. If a house is on fire, the first thing you do is get the people out–not try and prosecute who set it on fire. Bush and Cheney are criminals, and hopefully the big book of the law will be thrown at their bums. But for now, let’s help the people of the nation. If you think Congress doesn’t get anything done now (which is false. The House passes everything. It’s the Senate’s fault. Cough LIEBERMAN cough) then imagine what it would be like with impeachment hearings. Okay. FOCUS.

So Michelle spoke next, clearly she looked impeccable. And here’s the interesting thing about her speech. On Monday night, she didn’t discuss policy at all. It seemed as if they were taking her away from that aspect of the campaign so as to soften her image. But at the Emily’s List event, she was all about policy. Education, health care, choice. You go girl. She seemed a little nervous though. Hmm.

Spotted: Gloria Allred, Chelsea Clinton, Betsy Myers (COO of Obama’s campaign/my hero)

One veterans event, and then the madness of the Pepsi Center. It felt like walking into a rock concert–a Barack concert, if you will. OHHHHHH. Sowwy. That was bad. Anyway, Mark Warner was boring. Yeah, I said it. BO-RING. It’s so obvious that man wants to be el presidente. He will run in eight years. And when I’m right, somebody please buy me a chocolate chip cookie. But there’s this new kid in town that shook things up. Montana Governor Brian Schweitzer was a hoot. He got up there in his sexy, sexy bolo tie (rawr) and smacked McCain around a bit. You know how people usually get fired up at the end of their speeches? I legit thought this man was ending his speech eight separate times. He was so fired up that I couldn’t help but be excited too. New political crush, for sure. Blahdiddy blah blah Deval Patrick blah blah. He’s cool. Oh, and then this lady from New York spoke. Um yes, Hillllllz! Now you all know from my previous posting that B is my boy. But Hill deserves some R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Her speech was well-written, well-delivered, and exactly what was needed to finalize unity and end the fissure between Barack and Hillary supporters. And oh girl, she had some zingers. That line about the Twin Cities? Priceless. My favorite part was when she asked the Hillary people if they were doing it just for her or the country. That’s what it’s all about. I think that’s why Barack eventually won. His campaign has been about the volunteers, the power of the people and starting a movement. Of course people love B. He’s just so lovable. But Hillary’s supporters, while caring about the country, seemed to be obsessed with Hillary and so focused on Hillary that they forgot about themselves. Don’t freak out on me, that’s just what I noticed. Oh, and Chelsea is looking awesome. Good for her for taking a large role in last night.

Walking out of the convention area was like a carnival. If carnivals included the crazies screaming in your face with aborted baby fetus pictures. Sick. If you want to talk about baby killers, talk about the Bush administration sending young men and women to fight in Iraq. They are practically just babies, and they pay the ultimate price. But I digress. My favorites were the signs and screamers condemning “homo-sex” and screaming about Jeeeeesus. Newsflash, dumb-dumbs. JC stood for love, not hating on our fellow man and woman. The vendors were pretty funny though. The best sales pitch I heard was from a guy standing next to a crazy Christian. “We’re all going to hell!,” the vendor shouted. “Might as well buy buttons!” Well put, buddy. But despite a hearty chuckle, I did not buy the buttons.

Spotted: Bill Richardson, Jack Murtha, John Kerry and some other randos.

One party later and then we went back to the hotel. No Ben Affleck or George Clooney. But I’m looking. My feet are killing me. Time for bed. Day 3: Biden speaks.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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john mccain loses the numbers game.

Oh Johnny. It was only a simple question. Politico reporters Jonathan Martin and Mike Allen asked how many houses you have. McCain’s answer is priceless.

“I think — I’ll have my staff get to you. It’s condominiums where — I’ll have them get to you.”

What was that, buddy? You don’t know how many houses you and Cindy own? Well that can’t be good. Now I’m not good at math, but I’m pretty sure I can answer that question for myself. (Um, zero. Oh the joys of living in your parents’ house.)

Okay, so he doesn’t know how many houses he has, but here are some other basic addition questions that I hope John can answer without needing his staff to bail him out:

  • How old are you?
  • How many children do you have?
  • How many days are in a week?
  • How many states are in the union?

Hopefully those are elementary, my dear Watson.

So what did B have to say about the whole thing?

“If you don’t know how many houses you have, then it’s not surprising that you might think the economy is fundamentally strong.”

Zing! Well put. Most of us, John, can count our houses on one hand. Well, one finger. Your choice which finger you use when counting.

Politico did some digging around (apparently the staff didn’t get to them on that?) and discovered the number is at least eight. Johnny obviously wouldn’t be able to handle adding one more (say, the White House). So let’s do Senator John McCain a huuuuuge favor and make sure we don’t rock the boat by changing the number from at least eight to at least nine. It’s the kind thing to do.

And on a sidenote: Barack, I’ve been clinging to my cell phone for dear life waiting for that text message. Please, just let me know!

Update: WashPo does a McCain house(s) tour. Check it out. It’s like MTV Cribs.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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youtube clip of today: dream ticket.

Ohhh Britney. (Sorry, Walsh) Ohhh John McCain. If given the choice though, I’d put Brit Brit at the top of the ticket.

Teehee, this video is sillly.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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i’m afraid that’s really his best.

Instead of, I don’t know, talking about the issues, our friend Johnny McCain has stooped to a new low–and purely out of jealousy. He newest campaign ad compares Barack to Britney and Paris. And John, I know it sucks to not be the most popular kid in school–but the reason Barack is so popular is not because he parties a lot and is famous for no reason other than being rich, or is a talented singer/dancer but a tragic trainwreck (sorry, Britty) that people just can’t stop caring about.

It’s because he’s on to something really special. Something that you, John, can’t deliver. And people want change. One last thing, he was the editor of the Harvard Law Review and used to teach Constitutional law. He’s not dumb. I, in no way, am inferring that Paris and Britney are dumb. And I’m SURE that wasn’t McCain’s intent either. Right?

And this just in! The Hilton family donated the maximum amount possible to McCain’s campaign! Haha OUCH. So they’re probably not happy that he compared Barack to Paris in a negative light… Thanks to Jon Stewart for doing that research for me! Watching Jon Stewart and blogging at the same time is divine. You should try it sometime. I can only hope Jon’s (not the John previously mentioned) wit will rub off on me. Mmm, a girl can dream.

Here is the ridiculously dumb, immature and ineffective campaign ad:

And here is what Saint B had to say about it:

“Given the seriousness of the issues, you’d think we could have a serious debate. But so far, all we’ve been hearing about is Paris Hilton and Britney Spears. I mean, I do have to ask my opponent, is that the best you can come up with? Is that really what this election is about? Is that what is worthy of the American people?”

Well done, Mr. Obama. You are a gentleman and a scholar. Now go kick McCain’s ass.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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