Tag Archives: silly john mccain

the most telling picture ever taken.

A picture is worth a thousand words, right, Johnny?  Doesn’t he look like a dinosaur? HAHA.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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john mccain loses the numbers game.

Oh Johnny. It was only a simple question. Politico reporters Jonathan Martin and Mike Allen asked how many houses you have. McCain’s answer is priceless.

“I think — I’ll have my staff get to you. It’s condominiums where — I’ll have them get to you.”

What was that, buddy? You don’t know how many houses you and Cindy own? Well that can’t be good. Now I’m not good at math, but I’m pretty sure I can answer that question for myself. (Um, zero. Oh the joys of living in your parents’ house.)

Okay, so he doesn’t know how many houses he has, but here are some other basic addition questions that I hope John can answer without needing his staff to bail him out:

  • How old are you?
  • How many children do you have?
  • How many days are in a week?
  • How many states are in the union?

Hopefully those are elementary, my dear Watson.

So what did B have to say about the whole thing?

“If you don’t know how many houses you have, then it’s not surprising that you might think the economy is fundamentally strong.”

Zing! Well put. Most of us, John, can count our houses on one hand. Well, one finger. Your choice which finger you use when counting.

Politico did some digging around (apparently the staff didn’t get to them on that?) and discovered the number is at least eight. Johnny obviously wouldn’t be able to handle adding one more (say, the White House). So let’s do Senator John McCain a huuuuuge favor and make sure we don’t rock the boat by changing the number from at least eight to at least nine. It’s the kind thing to do.

And on a sidenote: Barack, I’ve been clinging to my cell phone for dear life waiting for that text message. Please, just let me know!

Update: WashPo does a McCain house(s) tour. Check it out. It’s like MTV Cribs.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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youtube clip of today: dream ticket.

Ohhh Britney. (Sorry, Walsh) Ohhh John McCain. If given the choice though, I’d put Brit Brit at the top of the ticket.

Teehee, this video is sillly.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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i’m afraid that’s really his best.

Instead of, I don’t know, talking about the issues, our friend Johnny McCain has stooped to a new low–and purely out of jealousy. He newest campaign ad compares Barack to Britney and Paris. And John, I know it sucks to not be the most popular kid in school–but the reason Barack is so popular is not because he parties a lot and is famous for no reason other than being rich, or is a talented singer/dancer but a tragic trainwreck (sorry, Britty) that people just can’t stop caring about.

It’s because he’s on to something really special. Something that you, John, can’t deliver. And people want change. One last thing, he was the editor of the Harvard Law Review and used to teach Constitutional law. He’s not dumb. I, in no way, am inferring that Paris and Britney are dumb. And I’m SURE that wasn’t McCain’s intent either. Right?

And this just in! The Hilton family donated the maximum amount possible to McCain’s campaign! Haha OUCH. So they’re probably not happy that he compared Barack to Paris in a negative light… Thanks to Jon Stewart for doing that research for me! Watching Jon Stewart and blogging at the same time is divine. You should try it sometime. I can only hope Jon’s (not the John previously mentioned) wit will rub off on me. Mmm, a girl can dream.

Here is the ridiculously dumb, immature and ineffective campaign ad:

And here is what Saint B had to say about it:

“Given the seriousness of the issues, you’d think we could have a serious debate. But so far, all we’ve been hearing about is Paris Hilton and Britney Spears. I mean, I do have to ask my opponent, is that the best you can come up with? Is that really what this election is about? Is that what is worthy of the American people?”

Well done, Mr. Obama. You are a gentleman and a scholar. Now go kick McCain’s ass.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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john mccain is no james mcavoy.

As a full time blogger (read: unemployed and uninsured, so going out into the real world poses a threat to my health. I could get hurt!), it is my responsibility to creep around the internet at 4 a.m. looking for inspiration.

I stumbled across a video about silly, ornery, old John McCain. Apparently, he called his wife a c-c-c-c-c-cunt. I have trouble even typing it. Did Cindy McCain do something so terrible? Nope. She jokingly told him that he was balding. Um, hello, J? When you’re 300 years old, you’re bound to bald. Here is what he said to her:

“At least I don’t plaster on the makeup like a trollop, you cunt.”

Wowie! So we know how he really feels. John and Cindy 4eva! I don’t particularly like Cindy McCain, but I would never call her that. I would call her a Stepford Wife, recipe-stealing, identity-stealing recovering drug addict, home-wrecking other woman, but never a cunt. That is NEVER okay. His excuse? He was tired. Um, fine. But as Wonkette pointed out, he’s going to be tired a lot if he becomes president.

The only time I have ever not been offended at all by the word was with James McAvoy and the infamous typewriter scene in Atonement. (Which incidentally, led to the infamous library scene. Rawr!) And even then, as he was typing, my mind kept wondering…Is he really going to type that? Looks like it, but they wouldn’t…oh no! OH MY GOD. HE DID! And for the record-James McAvoy, you can call me anything you’d like.

But I digress.

Barack gets called out for calling a reporter “sweetie”, which, he admits, is a bad habit. At least it’s a casual term of endearment. But nobody calls McCain out for being a complete cotton-headed-ninny-muggins (the worst insult among Santa’s elves, duh) to his wife. Why? I think this video does a really good job at explaining it:

What are your thoughts, you cunts? Did I say that? It’s late, I must be tired.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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