dating advice from a fourth grader.

When I was in elementary school I wrote a “book” about visiting the boardwalk during a storm.  Except that it was actually about visiting the doardwalk because the letter b was hard to wrap my mind around.  Then I wrote a book about a dog named Penny who had puppies.  Both were illustrated by the author.  Neither was any good (of course, my mom would tell you otherwise). 

Alec Greven, a fourth grader at Soaring Hawk Elementary School in Castle Rock, Colorado, has also written a book.  The only difference between his book and my book is that his is a national best seller.  Alec wrote “How to Talk to Girls” when he was eight as part of a school project.  Based on his life experiences and playground observations the book contains such advice as:

Sometimes, you get a girl to like you and then she ditches you.  Life is hard, move on!

Tip: About 73 percent of regular girls ditch boys; 98 percent of pretty girls ditch boys. 

(from Chapter One: The Facts of Life)

It should be noted that those statistics are not national figures, they pertain only to Alec’s observations of girls at Soaring Hawk Elementary.  The book impressed his teacher and principal so much that they decided to sell it for three dollars at the school’s book fair, where it became the fair’s best-seller.  Harper Collins published the book last month and now Alec is dispensing his dating advice to boys of all ages all over the country.  Some of his best advice?

“You also have to be aware that girls win most of the arguments and have most of the power.  If you know that now, things might be easier.”  (Chapter One: The Facts of Life)

That is a fact of life, indeed.  Way to go Alec.  To enjoy all of Alec’s advice you should probably buy his book or ask Santa to bring it to you for Christmas.  In the meantime, enjoy some more of Alec’s innocent wisdom:

Many boys who have crushes don’t know how to act around a girl. Some boys tease girls they like and are mean to them. Some boys say silly things to girls and act goofy. Some boys think they are acting cool by showing off.

This is not a good approach.

. . . . . . . . . . . . .

Whatever happens, just don’t act desperate. Girls don’t like desperate boys

. . . . . . . . . . . .

The right thing to do when you have a crush is:

  • Never show off too much
  • Don’t be silly and goofy
  • Control your hyperness (cut down on sugar if you need to)
  • Make sure you have good friends who won’t try to take the girl you like.

 

I know what my brother is getting for Christmas . . .

[Posted by Madeline]

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2 Comments

Filed under crushes, definitely not politics, humor, news, pop culture, random, the arts, Uncategorized

2 responses to “dating advice from a fourth grader.

  1. Mp

    Looooovveee IIIITT!!!!

  2. I think that it is a very interesting and amusing article. Practically all its main points are true.

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