Tag Archives: richard simmons

here’s to sweatin’ to the oldies.

Number of times I engaged in a political debate with my sister in the past 24 hours: 3

Number of fun-size Snickers bars currently in my belly: 300

Number of days (PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE) until Barack Obama is elected as our next president: 4

Number of beers I plan to drink tonight: 17

Number of days until Halloween: 0!!!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN, MY LITTLE GHOULS AND GOBLINS!

This evening I will be celebrating by dressing up as the one, the only, Richard Simmons. Think afro, tiny neon shorts, and tall white socks. I will obviously be having sex tonight.

So crack open a ice cold Bud Light and a bag of candy corn, pull something wacky out of your costume box (you have one too, right?), and do the Monster Mash.

Make it a good one! 

[Posted by Mallory]

Advertisements

Leave a comment

Filed under adventures, celebrities, dance, drinks, food, pop culture, RIP, YouTube

richard simmons: sweatin’ to the congress?

Here is a delightful thought for your Thursday afternoon! Fitness master and supreme god of the tacky workout videos Richard Simmons alluded to his dreams of someday being a member of the US Congress. He’s already at the Capitol–today he testified to the House Education and Labor Committee about childhood obesity. Here is what went down. This, of course, comes from CNN’s Political Ticker.

In a half-serious, half-jocular tone, Simmons described his approach to the hearing, saying, “I want to have the respect of a congressman, I want to talk like a congressman, and maybe, someday, I’ll be a congressman.”

But you already have our respect RS! People don’t respect congressmen and women that much. In fact, they are the least liked branch of government! I bet more people watch your workout videos (god love them) than C-SPAN. Then, he cited Jesse Ventura as an example of celebrity-gone-politician. Just me, but if I was going to make a case for that, I don’t think I would use “The Body” as my example. Maybe Ronald Reagan? Whatev. He continued,

“After this congressional hearing, I will go home,” Simmons said, “I will talk with my Dalmatian dogs, I will pray to God and then I’ll see what else I can do to help.”

He would have dalmatians. And he would talk to them.

I personally think it would be kind of fun to have him in the House, as long as he’s right on with his policy and votes the way I want him to. Haha. I mean, this man has made millions of middle-aged people get off the couch and sweat to oldies, all while prancing around saying “I’m a pony! I’m a pony!” in short shorts. If elected, do you think he would wear a suit? The idea of Richard Simmons in anything other than shorts shorts just seems…unethical. That aside, just think of all the things he could inspire his fellow members of Congress to do! To prove how Richie can move mountains, I found a youtube video of his epic workout tapes, but somebody updated it and put it to the greatest song ever recorded–“Walk It Out” by DJ Unk. Haha. Anyway, enjoy. And in the great words of JFK, ask not what your country can do for you, but what Richard Simmons can do for your country.

[Posted by Kathleen]

2 Comments

Filed under celebrities, politics, random, YouTube