geez louise, jennifer, please slow down!

I don’t really like driving in the car with my mother. When she reminds me to “slow DOWN, Kathleen” or “there’s a stop sign 50 feet ahead”, I remind her that I have been driving since 2002. SO THERE! Now that VH1 has ‘I Love the New Milennium” (why, Hal Sparks, why?!), I feel as if my age has been validated and 2002 is just as far off as “I Love the 80s”. Anyway, my mother always calls me out on speeding. Today, I will be victorious when I show her this!

Jennifer Bitton, you speed demon! She was caught speeding 22 times within a 45 day period by a camera in Scottsdale, Arizona. With speeds going up to 92 MPH! GASP! Umm…has anyone driven in New Jersey? It practically says 92 MPH on the speed limit signs. Anyway, Jennifer is in a wee bit of trouble because of this. I doubt if she had been pulled over by real cops she would have this many tickets. Because, you know, as her mugshot shows, she is fairly cute? By the way, she lives in Las Vegas. Draw your own conclusions.

But right now she’s in jail, and will most likely have to serve some mandatory jail time and pay fees. That sucks.

Here is what bothers me the most–none of the news stories answer the question WHY she was speeding. Was she late for work every day? (Understandable.) Was she late for some sort of class? (Pretty understandable.) Was she just having uncontrollable cravings for the Baconator at Wendy’s? (Absolutely understandable.)

I need answers! Tell us, Jennifer! The world needs to know!

[Posted by Kathleen]


Filed under definitely not politics, news, random

3 responses to “geez louise, jennifer, please slow down!

  1. Beefchocolatecheesesaltgarlic

    Mmmmm…. Baconator….

  2. susie q

    She was late everyday for work poor neiman marcus!!

  3. susie q

    She is saying she did not get her rights read to her. Another jennifer lie because that’s all she knows how to do. All day evryday lies!!!

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