coleslaw and some pumpkin pie, anyone?

Killer Tofu

In case you hadn’t noticed, I’m a big fan of the New York Times, and in between important receptionisty phone calls, I like to peruse the website in an effort to make myself feel smarter. Because I’m a huge health nut (HAH!), I was drawn to this article on “The 11 Best Foods You Aren’t Eating Yet.” Let’s play a little free association game with the list:

  1. Beets: Whatever happened to Doug Funny? That was a great show. In the spring, a band came to my school and played a cover of one of The Beets’ songs, and that really made me happy. Also, did you know that there are people who go on Wikipedia and list all of the characters from a given TV show? Take a look at the list for Doug here.
  2. Cabbage: Mmm coleslaw and fish tacos. Cabbage and mayonnaise (hah, speaking of Doug) are the new peanut butter and jelly. No?
  3. Swiss chard: I haven’t the faintest idea what this is, but it makes me think of swiss cheese, which makes me think of my roommates, which makes me miss college.
  4. Cinnamon: The other day I found a bowl of atomic fireballs at work, and since my day had been so un-challenging in general, I decide to challenge myself to eat a fireball. Good god that think was hot! I barely finished it, but because I’m a dedicated eater who hates to lose any kind of contest, I prevailed.
  5. Pomegranate juice: I like this stuff. But did you know you can get a pomegranate martini these days? If you ever catch me drinking any kind of flavored -tini, smack me and pour the drink in my face, then order me a beer.
  6. Dried plums: Ha ha, see what they did there? They’re trying to trick you into eating PRUNES! Don’t be fooled!
  7. Pumpkin seeds: For some reason, I ate a lot of these when I was in Italy. I would get them at one of those adorable street stands, or at the massive totally American grocery store in my apartment building. I would eat them until my lips burned from all the salt (YUM) and the seeds had to be forcibly removed from my grip.
  8. Sardines: This is making me think of Popeye, but I think he just ate spinach. Hmm.
  9. Turmeric: Come again?
  10. Frozen blueberries: I know people say that frozen fruit is a delicious, healthy snack, but I like to keep my frozen desserts filled with chocolate and high in saturated fat.
  11. Canned pumpkin: “When you die, if you get a choice between going to regular heaven or pie heaven, choose pie heaven. It might be a trick, but if not…mmmmm, boy!” I love Jack Handy.

That was fun, but now I’m hungry.

[Posted by Mallory]

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