A bakery in the Dirty Jerz has refused to make a three year old a birthday cake. That’s terrible, you say. Right? Well, not as terrible as what I’m going to tell you next. The three year old’s name is Adolph Hitler. Yes, as in the worst person ever. The mini fuhrer’s parents, Heath and Deborah Campbell, named their child Adolph Hitler and then were appalled that the ShopRite bakery refused to write “Happy Birthday Adolph Hitler” on the cake. I cannot get over this. How can this be surprising to them?
I wonder if they’ll be surprised when he gets thrown into lockers and beat up in middle school, high school, college, life.
And you think little Adolph has it bad? He has two sisters…ready?
Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie and JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell.
OUCH. But back to the bakery and cake in question.
According to the news story,
A spokeswoman for ShopRite said that this was not the bakery department’s first run in with the Campbells – a similar request was denied two years ago when the shop also refused to daub swastikas on baked goods for the family.
Interesting. But whatever you do, PUHLEASE do NOT call the Campbells racists! They’re not racists! Heath Campbell will tell you that Dolphie has black friends AND mixed race friends that even went to his birthday party. Oooooh, it’s the “I’ve got friends that are x” defense. Yeah, we’ve heard that one. It’s like when Sarah Palin defended her hateful anti-gayness by saying she has gay friends. This defense, we all know, is very weak.
“If we’re so racist, then why would I have them come into my home?” he asked.
I can’t answer that, but rather I ask the question “why would any parent let their child into the Campbells’ home?”
I blame Heath and Deborah completely, so despite having a terrible name, I hope Adolph had a good birthday. And when he is old enough, I hope he has the desire and courage to change his name. Maybe to Martin Luther King or something. That would be awesome.
[Posted by Kathleen]
six words to change the world. 
Gawd, some parents are just twits, is all. That they are psychologically unsound makes me fear for the children, you what I mean? Really.
Wow, you should send this to the stuffwhitepeoplelike.com guys. They would be appalled. I mean which decent white person names their kids like that?
Twit parents or not, they still have a right to name their kids whatever they like, and they should also be able to get a cake with their kid’s name on it. I think it’s weird, too, but I think we need to stop being so hung up on language and worry more about intention. In this case, the intention was to get a cake. The business didn’t make the cake because they deemed the cake would be inappropriate. Looking at it from this perspective, now who’s being a twit?