Tag Archives: diets

dear god, am i skinny yet?

Now that I’ve been eating somewhat like a skinny bitch for the past, oh, four days, I’ve started looking pretty good. Take a look at this picture of me, just hanging out poolside:

Not bad, right? 

Okay, actually, I’ve successfully not consumed diet pop or meat since whenever I finished Skinny Bitch (a whopping four days ago, OKAY?!). I was feeling really inspired yesterday and decided that I was going to be a vegan until I go to New York on Thursday, but I went to a Mexican restaurant today, and Mexican food without cheese would be a crime against humanity. So I cracked. Also, if we’re getting technical, the skinny bitches said that to be truly healthy, you’re not supposed to have any alcohol besides organic red wine. Yesterday I maybe had a shot of tequila with my family friends at 11:45 a.m. They made me do it.

So my progress is as follows:

  • I was a true Skinny Bitch-style vegan for three hours yesterday.
  • I was more or less a “vegan” for a little over 24 hours.
  • I have been a vegetarian for four days.
In my book, that ain’t bad. Let’s see what happens this weekend when I spend many drunken days/nights with my bacon-and-chicken-nugget-loving friends. Wish me luck.

[Posted by Mallory]

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Filed under animals, celebrities, drinks, food

excuse me? did you say cookies?

Ladies and gentlemen, we have a new diet fad. The cookie, that’s right, COOKIE diet. Obviously I got a little too excited when I first read about it and had such high expectations. The man who came up with it (a MAN came up with a cookie diet?) is named Dr. Sanford Siegal.

Apparently all you eat is cookies! Brilliant! Except for the fact that they need to be Siegal’s cookies and not snickerdoodles, chocolate chips, thin mints, tagalongs, sugar cookies or anything else that tastes delicious. You slay me, Dr. Siegal. Also, with the cookie diet you take in a mere 800 calories a day. I like my cookies to be about 800 calories each.

Listen, Sanford– it’s not me, it’s you. I just don’t see things working out between us.

[Posted by Kathleen]


Filed under definitely not politics, food, random