Tag Archives: bacon

meaty business cards for carnivorous people.

Let me preface this by saying this was passed on to me by one of the manliest men I know.  RAWR!  Okay, now we can begin.

Meat lovers, rejoice!  Now you can integrate your carnivorous ways into the business world.  How, you ask?  BUSINESS CARDS MADE OUT OF BEEF JERKY.

I’m not making that up.

Here is a picture from their Web site, www.meatcards.com:

meatcardsHilarious and brilliant!  Here’s more from the Web site:

Screw die-cutting. Forget about foil, popups, or UV spot lamination. THESE business cards have two ingredients:
MEAT AND LASERS.

Unlike other business cards, MEAT CARDS will retain value after the econopocalypse. Hoard and barter your calorie-rich, life-sustaining cards.

MEAT CARDS do not fit in a Rolodex, because their deliciousness CANNOT BE CONTAINED in a Rolodex.

Now if only they could make business cards out of bacon…

[Posted by Kathleen]

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Filed under blogging, definitely not politics, food, humor, news, pop culture, random, thoughts, weird

dear readers, i present food porn.

My officemate Erica (who has her own fabulous food blog called Bacon Concentrate — check her out and make her famous!) introduced me to Tastespotting, the most wonderful blog ever. It just has lots of pictures of food! Basically, any food-lover can send in their own handiwork and have it displayed on le blog. Which is both wonderful and really, really torturous. Just ask my keyboard, which is now covered in my saliva. I feel like this site shouldn’t be safe for work. Here are some samples:

bagel

(Originally from kitchenmischief.blogspot.com)

toast

(Originally from voodoolily.blogspot.com)

pork

(Originally from latimes.com)

cake

(Originally from spicyicecream.blogspot.com)

Yeah, you’re welcome.

[Posted by Mallory]

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Filed under blogging, food

bright green, bacon, and born-again bloggers.

So I’ve been having a life/blog crisis. Here’s what’s up: I’ve been really busy this semester, as you may have guessed since I basically haven’t blogged since W. was president. I’m still pretty busy, but less overwhelmed by my busy-ness. I wanna get back to blogging.  Two of my friends at work have blogs, so we talk about them all the time. And my roommate will say things like, “Oh, did you hear about [insert weird news story here]? It’s the type of thing you guys would have blogged about.” PLUS, there are things in my life that happen that I feel the urge to tell about 200 friends and strangers. (Stats have been low lately, shocking.) The point is, I MISS BLOGGING.

I threw this idea out to Kathleen today, and she’s totally on board:

Me: i vote let’s start blogging again for real. i have a lil more time on my hands now, and i know you could use a break from job-applying and craigslist searching, and i miss it. LET’S DO IT GIRLFRIEND.

Kathleen: holler hey.  i like it.  FOR REAL. 

As you see, we are very important and articulate and passionate about our blogging. HOLD US TO IT.

Here’s an example of something that I feel the need to share with you, dear readers who still care about us: a few hours ago, I visited the site www.baconfreak.com (it’s, um, a long story?) and the following song lyrics came on, out loud, on my WORK COMPUTER, quite audibly, in my crowded office: “Just gimme my bacon…”

Then, a little bit later, I shadowed my officemate for a settlement conference. I didn’t know I’d be attending the conference, so I am wearing my basic business casual casual attire. Picture me, in a room full of 50-75 lawyers in suits, wearing bright green pants.  

 No, they weren’t quite that bright, and no, I was not wearing that wig. But still, it was awkward. Thanks J.Crew, you preppy assholes.

Ladies and gentlemen, if only for moments like these, I’m back.

[Posted by Mallory]

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Filed under adventures, blogging, food, humor, post-college depression

you thought the baconator was cool…

I have a friend who loves bacon. Let’s call her Katie, because that’s her name. In college, we would make fun of her for sneaking scraps of bacon off of our plates when we weren’t looking. She once toyed with the notion of inventing bacon bread. Bitch really, really loves bacon. And she’d do a lot for bacon, but I don’t think she’d do this:

bacon bra

(That photo is officially the most awkward one I’ve ever saved to my Desktop.)

Ladies and gents — but really, just gents — meet the Bacon Bra. Taco Bell is putting bacon in its burritos, so why can’t some random woman wear bacon for a bra? 

My friend Doobie alerted me to this wonderful new invention:

doobie:  so you wanna see the best invention ever?
me:  YES!
doobie:  http://www.stylelist.com/blog/2008/04/11/bringing-home-the-bacon-bra/
me:  oh. my. GOD.
doobie:  hahaha awesome right?
me:  okay, but the bacon is raw
so youd have to like peel it off a boob and fry it before you eat it
doobie:  hmmm id just suck it up
me:  and eat the raw bacon?
doobie:  yup

Oh, boys.

[Posted by Mallory]

dear god, am i skinny yet?

Now that I’ve been eating somewhat like a skinny bitch for the past, oh, four days, I’ve started looking pretty good. Take a look at this picture of me, just hanging out poolside:

Not bad, right? 

Okay, actually, I’ve successfully not consumed diet pop or meat since whenever I finished Skinny Bitch (a whopping four days ago, OKAY?!). I was feeling really inspired yesterday and decided that I was going to be a vegan until I go to New York on Thursday, but I went to a Mexican restaurant today, and Mexican food without cheese would be a crime against humanity. So I cracked. Also, if we’re getting technical, the skinny bitches said that to be truly healthy, you’re not supposed to have any alcohol besides organic red wine. Yesterday I maybe had a shot of tequila with my family friends at 11:45 a.m. They made me do it.

So my progress is as follows:

  • I was a true Skinny Bitch-style vegan for three hours yesterday.
  • I was more or less a “vegan” for a little over 24 hours.
  • I have been a vegetarian for four days.
In my book, that ain’t bad. Let’s see what happens this weekend when I spend many drunken days/nights with my bacon-and-chicken-nugget-loving friends. Wish me luck.

[Posted by Mallory]

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Filed under animals, celebrities, drinks, food

just six words and a picture.

The Katie Jane Tracy 22nd birthday edition!

You’re worth more than 1,000 words.

Happy birthday, KTray. One more thing:

[Posted with love from Kathleen and Mallory]

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Filed under crushes, random, six word memoirs

posh would never wear these things.

Now I’m aware that the fashion gods decided that platform shoes are in again. I also must acknowledge that I tend to love Free People, as it is a brand that enables my not-so-secret desire to be a hippie. (A fake, well-dressed hippie, of course.) But those shoes! Look at those things! I don’t think the Spice Girls would have even worn them back in the ’90s. And according to their description, they have a terrifying four-and-a-half inch heel. As a 5’11” girl with a general dislike for heels, height like that is enough to make me woozy. (The image that just popped into my brain as I pictured myself wearing the monstrosities: a just-born foal with its wobbly little legs, stumbling all over the place.) So uh, anyway, these shoes are hideous, happy Friday, and will someone please bring me a breakfast sandwich?

[Posted by Mallory]

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Filed under fashion