some random news stories you’ll like.

Being that this is my first post of the day, I was going to say good morning, but it’s lunch time now. So I hope you had a good morning and a yummy lunch.

• You’ve probs heard about the Montauk Monster by now (not to be confused with the Montag Monster, which is obviously Heidi from “The Hills”). Honestly, this thing looks like Satan’s deformed lap dog and would totally beat out any Chinese Crested Hairless for the world’s ugliest dog competition. Perhaps it can be entered next year posthumously? Anyway, this creature is quite the beast. I’ve been like the freaking Nancy Drew of the internet stalking this thing. Here’s the best news source I can come up with: an interview with the three girls that found it. First aliens, now this? I’m never leaving my bed again. For reallllls.
• Surprise, surprise! The jobless rate (“Jobless”, by the way is a nickname a friend of mine gave me. He’s a meanie.) is now up to 5.7% for the month of July–which is a four-year high. But wait…we couldn’t possibly be in any sort of recession, right? Remember what McCain’s buddy said? It’s all in our heads. Now, I don’t have the numbers on this, but I’m going to go out on a limb and make a bold statement. As the unemployment rate rises, so does the number of bloggers. Yeah, I’d put some money on that.
• OMFG, the grown ups don’t like Gossip Girl. There’s sex, drugs and drinking in it. In high school! GASP. Without going to school for millions of years and having a Ph.D, let me clear this up for anyone that is confused. GG is to teenagers what soap operas is to 50 year old women who have time to watch the teevee all morning and afternoon. People live vicariously through this stuff, and you’re a dumb-dumb if you don’t recognize that. Trust me, not all high schoolers are having good sex. You know you love me. Xoxo, Gossip girl.
• Bon Jovi kind of saved Bill Clinton. Oh man, I don’t want to quote Bon Jovi songs and make bad jokes, so I’m going to spare myself the humiliation. Read the story if you care.
• Watch out Segway, Toyota now has the Winglet. And it looks cooler. Oh man, if you’re in DC look out for the Segway tours. Those people look ridiculous. Hmm…I wonder if Bush can fall off of this too? Most likely. And, because it’s a Toyota, it probably gets better gas mileage. Question, is there enough space to put a tree-hugging, granola eating democratic bumper sticker on it? And does it have an iPod adapter built in?
• First, people try and deprive the poor of the social services they so desperately need. Now, they’re trying to deprive the less fortunate of a cheeseburger from Mickey D’s. IS THERE NO JUSTICE IN THIS WORLD?! Read this article and let me know what you think. No, that’s not fast food I smell, it’s racism. Or rather, as blog God Christian Lander (My hero! Sigh) put it so delicately, white people knowing what’s best for poor people.

Okay, that’s all I got…for now. Stay busy at work, fools! I will continue to blog.

[Posted by Kathleen]