Tag Archives: college

solo cab rides are pretty lonely.

Collegeee

So last night I went out with two of my friends from elementary school (look at the longevity there). We went to a Rockies game, which is always a good time, and then stopped by a bar to see another friend’s band play. Various events in the night got me slightly freaked out about this whole being-an-adult thing (that is, if you consider living at home, temping as a receptionist, and still making bad decisions with alarming frequency being an adult). For starters, at the baseball game we sat in front of these obnoxious kids (including boys who were wearing strangely short shorts) who felt the need to comment on every aspect of the game, and loudly say things like “Should we take the shooters now?” I was blissfully happy eating my burrito, drinking my Coors Light, and staring at the mountains, so I was more entertained than annoyed by these strangers, but from an objective perspective, I could see that they were irritating as hell. My friends and I joked about this and laughed at the antics of these young hooligans, and then I realized…that was me. And I’m not talking that was me like waaay back in college a month ago, but that was me approximately a week ago, at a different Rockies game. People like that aren’t exactly loved by the rest of the population. How long can I get away with shit like this?

After it was clear that the Rockies were going to win (take THAT, Cleveland), we went to the bar to watch my friend’s band play. The band turned out to be awesome, and it was generally a great time. One of the highlights of this little concert was watching the hammered parents of the band members acting like college students, which means they were dancing on tables and making out in corners. This seems to answer the earlier question with a resounding “You can get away with shit like this for a long time! You can get blacked out on a Tuesday and grind up on strangers even when you have children of your own!” And even though I assume, if I’m being honest with myself, that I probably will be one of those parents one day, it still doesn’t seem quite right.

So after watching these drunk adults for a few hours, my elementary school friends left and I decided against my better judgement to stay for a while. After dancing like a hippie to the next band, whose lead singer had one of the greatest Jewfros I’ve ever seen, I started thinking I should go home, and I called a cab. Because my other friends didn’t have important things like filing invoices and answering phones to do the next day, they decided to stay. Which means I had to take a cab home alone. Now, I’m not the type of person who necessarily hates being alone, but I felt self-conscious and pathetic hopping into that yellow sedan all by my lonesome. I knowww that adults do that sometimes — I’ve seen it in the movies — but I didn’t like it.

As much I want to end this bit of rambling with a Carrie Bradshaw-esque conclusion that ties this all together with a neat analogy and an “I couldn’t help but wonder,” (i.e., “And I couldn’t help but wonder…was my fear of being alone in the cab indicative of a larger fear of being alone…forever?), I really don’t know where I’m going with this. I think part of me is still devastated that a night out is no longer a trip to a campus bar where everybody knows your name, you can pay for beer on your meal plan, and you can walk home in five minutes. I’m also not entirely sure what I can do with this borderline-alcoholism that we all pick up in college now that I’m (GASP) not in college. On the weekends, when my drink of choice is still a whiskey coke in shady water bottle form, it’s easier to pretend that nothing’s changed. But this whole “work” thing, this whole “growing up” thing, is really cramping my style. Thank god for grad school.

[Posted by Mallory]

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Filed under definitely not politics, post-college depression

cry face WILL change the world.

Ladies and gentlemen, pimps and players, allow me to introduce you to the Cry Face.
 
Cry Face is a little thing a friend of mine invented accidentally back in high school when she was so cold that she actually felt like crying. Until my sophomore year in college, the Cry Face lay dormant, waiting to be released to the world. For no reason in particular, one night my friend Katie challenged me to get everyone I met that night to do the Cry Face. When we realized a) how ridiculous all people look while doing a Cry Face and b) how willing even strangers are to make this strange face and then be photographed, we knew this thing had potential. For the next few years, it was my personal mission to get as many people as I could to do Cry Face.
 
Boys wearing oxfords love Cry Face:

 
 
Asians love Cry Face:

The Crnkovich family (at their annual reunion) loves Cry Face:

Huge groups of people visiting Italian tourist destinations love Cry Face:

And you know what? I think even God loves the Cry Face (yes, that is the Vatican. I swear my dad is a good enough Catholic that he’s still protected from eternal damnation):

Okay, I think you get the idea. But don’t think there won’t be more where that came from. There are dozens of other photos waiting to be shared with the world.
 
When Cry Face first started getting big (and strangers began emailing me photos of their friends doing Cry Face), I started to think, hey, I could make a book of Cry Faces! It’s the kind of book that would be sold at Urban Outfitters, that customers would read and enjoy while waiting in line, but would never actually shell out the $14.95 to bring it home to put on their coffee tables. Thanks to Al Gore’s invention of the Internet, it is much easier to share Cry Face with the masses. My long-term goal? That you, you eventual millions of readers, will share your Cry Faces with Kathleen and me through this blog. Send us your best photos of you, your friends, your favorite celebrity, or your co-worker’s great-grandmother rocking the Cry Face. Extra points always go to large groups or those doing Cry Face in an inappropriate place (see Vatican, above). I swear, this thing’s going to change the world.

[Posted by Mallory]

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Filed under cry face