Tag Archives: crocs

another great overheard in new york.

Here at SWTCTW, we’re obligated to report on everything that delights us in the world of croc-hating. Ergo, I must share with you another great Overheard in New York, courtesy of McKorea:

Ten-year-old tourist girl wearing pink Crocs: Smoking is bad for you!
Smoking queer: Crocs are for retarded kids who can’t tie their own shoes.

Perhaps a little harsh, but remember people: CROCS NOT OKAY UNLESS YOU ARE DOING YARD WORK OR ARE UNDER THE AGE OF FOUR.

[Posted by Mallory]

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Filed under fashion, humor

the skinny bitch with the mac.

Yesterday, I gave in to two popular trends that I’ve been resisting for quite some time: I bought a Mac, and I began reading Skinny Bitch. Big day for me. I’ve been needing a new computer for oh, about two years, but because I am not what we call “technology savvy,” I avoided buying a new one for fear that I’d be so overwhelmed by all the features that I’d sob while pounding on the keyboard with one hand and shoving a Wendy’s breakfast sandwich into my mouth with the other. Speaking of breakfast sandwiches, unless you’ve been living under a rock for the past few years (or were muffling your friends’ advice with the sound of crackling bacon), you’ve heard of Rory Freedman and Kim Barnouin’s book Skinny Bitch. According to everyone in the world, it will make you become a vegan and weep at the sight of a hamburger. The thing is, I quite enjoy things like pepperoni pizza, dairy, diet coke, and Big Macs. Rory and Kim want me to stop eating those things, so it naturally took me a while to crack the book. But more on that later.

Back to my new friend, Mr. MacBook. Kathleen already makes love to her Mac thrice daily, and everyone else who owns one practically begs you to cross over to the Dark Side. But I wasn’t ready. I had mentally added “Apple computers” to the list of things I will never understand (along with cars, economics, the appeal of Rock Band, how to do my own hair and eye makeup, fax machines, etc.). Then it got to the point where my old, “trusty” Gateway computer could barely open Gmail without crashing, and I decided I had to make a decision. PC or Mac? Mac or PC? ARGHHHH!

I don’t know much about computers, so the technical stuff doesn’t faze me much. Here’s what I wanted: a laptop that was pretty, and a laptop could function while holding my bajillions of songs and photos. That’s all. I went back and forth for a while, and my friend Katie ultimately convinced me. Her MacBook had recently crashed (yeah, you thought that wasn’t supposed to happen, didn’t you?!), which initially sent me running back to the Dell Web site to pick out a nice navy blue computer. Then Katie told me that even though her Mac crashed, she would get another one again in a heartbeat. Plus, even though Macs can crash, PCs crash about a zillion times more. That was all I needed. I creeped around online for a little while, where my new debate became black MacBook or white MacBook? White MacBook or black MacBook? (And if you know me, you know that I am hopelessly indecisive and decisions like this are truly agonizing for me.) I finally settled on white (looks cuter in my bedroom — that was seriously part of my rational — and the letters on the keyboard won’t rub off), and then scampered off to the Apple store. Now here I am, assuming the “Kathleen,” blogging on my Mac from my bed. So far, no regrets.

Now about that scary vegan book. So far, I like it. I mean, you have to love a couple of girls who say things like, “Now don’t piss and shit yourselves, but…” Although they do look like skinny bitches (a brand of human I tend to hate):

Some of their claims seem a leetle out-there, but on the whole I think they’ve got a point. Is it likely that I’ll actually become a vegan? Um, no. I don’t know if I could live a life that didn’t include cheese, ice cream, or whiskey. But I’m halfway through the book, and so far I’ve decided to give up diet pop and at least try to not eat meat for a while. I’ve been working on the diet pop thing this summer anyway, and frankly, the book’s descriptions of slaughterhouses are enough to make even my father consider becoming a vegetarian. Luckily, I’ve become addicted to fake-meat breakfast sausage, and I’ve never been a huuuge meat-eater, so I may be able to stay on the bandwagon longer than, say, Kathleen. 

So in a way, I’m now that girl. But I think I’m okay with it. I’ll keep you posted on my progress. If you catch me practicing Scientology or wearing Crocs, though, please feel free to institutionalize me.

[Posted by Mallory]

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Filed under animals, drinks, food, pop culture, technology

high heeled crocs? my eyes bleed.

At SWTCTW we reserve the right to rant about things have no real relevance other than just being fugly or annoying. So here’s a little rant. And before I start, let me be the first to admit that I own a pair of Crocs. They’re baby blue (I know that doesn’t make it better, perhaps even worse? Haha) and perfect for what I used them for– getting from my dorm room to the hall bathroom or laundry room. They were never a fashion statement. And they shouldn’t be. But what the Crocs company has done now, however, is unforgivable. They have just gone too far this time and I won’t stand for it anymore! Are you ready? Feast your eager eyes on these!

UGGGGGGGGGGGGGGH! There are no excuses. How can you possibly justify wearing these? Oh, I need to be comfortable at my best friend’s wedding, so let me just slip on some foam monstrosities with a heel because a heel makes it dressy? Puhlease. Suck it up like the rest of the world. Even the high heels for babies were more attractive than these crimes against humanity. If ever you are given the choice between Crocs high heels or going barefoot, do yourself and everyone else a favor. GO BAREFOOT.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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Filed under fashion, pop culture, random