Tag Archives: how we met stories

mom, i’m marrying a serial killer.

To take a quick break from sports, I’m going to write about another popular topic on SWTCTW- strange weddings. (For evidence of this, please click here and here) Everyone has heard the jokes about marriage being a life sentence and whatnot. This story is the perfect combination of all these things in a sick and twisted way. Oh man, my mind is whirling with puns and bad jokes that I could make. Okay, maybe just one… Nihita Biswas can literally call her future hubby the old ball and chain.

Confessed French serial killer Charles Sobhraj, who is 64 and serving a life sentence in Nepal, is engaged to marry Nihita, a 20-year-old Nepalese girl. Here is their how we met story: they met when she was applying to be a translator for one of his lawyers. (Cute? No?) Oh, and he is best known by his criminal nickname, “The Serpent”.

There are so many things wrong with this! Besides the whole killing people thing, I don’t think I could ever marry someone with a nickname that sounds like it comes from a Batman movie! (Sidenote: I am so excited for the new Batman movie. Why, Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeath, why? I love you.) What are his evil powers, besides the obvious? I wish this was an episode of Scrubs and you could see what goes on in my head. Damn my wild imagination.

Even though you can’t see what goes on in my head, use your own to imagine the conversation she had with her mother. Moms essentially all ask the same basic questions when it comes to learning about the new man in her daughter’s life. What is his name? What is he like? What does he do? Or in the case of marriage, they ask when the date for the wedding is. For the Serpent and his lady, this all depends on whether the Nepal Supreme Court accepts his appeal and let’s him out of his life sentence. Good luck with that. The point is, not one answer to any of the basic questions is good! How do even you answer ‘what does he do’?

Instead of answering all of these questions for the news story, the blushing bride to be commented on the 44 year age gap between them.

“I am mature enough to decide for myself,” she said. “Age does not make a difference.”

Age is the least of your worries, hun. I think your number one priority should be, umm, staying alive.

The Frenchman has in the past admitted to killing several Western tourists, and he is believed to have murdered at least 20 people in Afghanistan, India, Thailand, Turkey, Nepal, Iran and Hong Kong during the 1970s.

So this story isn’t quite Sunday New York Times wedding announcement material, but it’s still a wedding announcement. Congratulations to the happy couple? I demand an invite and there best be an open bar.

Here she is:

And here he is (looking mysterious and somewhat dapper?):

[Posted by Kathleen]

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Filed under news, random, weddings

yo, want 2 swing dance 2nite?

Everyone loves a good “how we met” story. You know, the kind that makes movies like Must Love Dogs (uggh, it kills me to think that I’ll never get those two hours of my life back) seem normal. I love it when my parents tell theirs. If you have ever read wedding announcements/seen 27 Dresses or care about that sort of stuff at all, you know the “how we met” story is the icing on the wedding cake.

But with all of the chick flicks out there to let us know how it should be, you know when a “how we met” story is really bad.

Ex- “Well, I was at one end of the bar and he was at the other. After all of his friends had tried with me, I finally agreed when he asked to buy me a drink because he seemed like the nicest and I wanted to have enough money left over for a cab. We ended up making out at the bar and he Facebooked me later that night.”

Here is my favorite though-this one truly takes the, err, wedding cake. An old friend recently got engaged. Out of pure obligation and a touch of nosiness, one of my BFFLs (LYLAS) asked his fiancée how they met. To this the fiancée responded:

“We met on MySpace. You got a problem with that?”

YES, I DO. But that’s because I hate MySpace with the passion of 18 million angry Hillary voters.

Obviously this girl was on the defensive. She knew that her story was anything but cute. She knows how it is perceived, so she lied to her parents. She told her parents they met swing dancing. SWING DANCING. Yup. Just off the top of my head, I can name a few trillion things more believable and plausible than that. But this brings to mind the question: where do you go to meet someone swing dancing? Plus, I don’t know many single dudes that would go to a swing dancing event. But whatev. If that’s the fantasy she wants, let her have it.

When we spend most of our time online and plugged in, it’s no shock (sadly) that it becomes the dating arena. The biggest step you need to make is Facebooking them. From their Facebook you can get a phone number. And then, you can send a text: hey what r u doing tonight.

I don’t condemn it, but I don’t like it. I will condemn it, however, if it has anything to do with MySpace. Is your engagement photo going to be a longarm style black and white pouty face with added sparkles? If that happens to you, lie to me. Because deep down I still have faith that true “how we met” stories can be cute. I, of course, expect to meet the love of my life at a political rally, realize we love the same Disney movies and old movie musicals, talk about Barack, eat lots of ice cream and live happily ever after. But that’s just me.

[Posted by Kathleen]

3 Comments

Filed under crushes, definitely not politics