Tag Archives: paula abdul

mary murphy contracts paula abdul syndrome.


This time, Chris is late! HA!  But anyway, I love his diagnosis…it’s hilarious!

I’m not a doctor, but I’m going to stand by my diagnosis. Anyone that saw Wednesday night’s episode knows what I’m talking about here – and I, for one, am concerned. Reality TV judges are at risk. Specifically, the female judge sitting in the middle seat of any given seems to be vulnerable to Paula Abdul Syndrome or, as we in the medical blogging community call it, PAS.

The symptoms of PAS are clear: slurred speech; wild hand gestures; crying; etc… symptoms often prompt weird looks or agitated comments from judges sitting nearby on the panel.

[Please entertain a small digression. This is a plea to all judges sitting near a PAS victim. They can’t help it. And it should help you to know that even though we aren’t there with you, it is just as painful for all of us to watch at home. Try to show some compassion, and know that you’re not alone. /digression]

The cause of PAS is still unknown, but medical experts (I) have begun to narrow down the suspected causes. To do this, they (I) had to rely on photographic and video evidence, as an in-person study of someone infected with PAS may be unsafe – and the experts (I) don’t want to be responsible for causing a pandemic.

mary murphy2Simon Cowell and Paula Abdul on American Idol1_preview

So far, PAS seems to have attacked only women, although its too early to say for sure. The location of the infected judge’s seat seems to play a role as well. There just seems to be something about that middle seat. (An odd cause, you say? Maybe, but have you ever sat in the middle seat for a long flight? That’s what I thought – and I hope you will think twice before questioning the medical experts (me) again…) This brings us to the cups. Enough said there, I think. The wild hand gestures are an unresolved question for the experts studying PAS. So far its unclear whether or not they contribute to the cause of PAS, or if they are a symptom. These certainly are scary times.

Mary’s struggle with PAS was borderline distracting; but here are some of the best numbers from the night…

Philip and Jeanine:

Jason and Caitlin:

Voted off this week: Tony and Parris

[Posted by Chris, via Kathleen]


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seacrest gets bit, takes advil, lives.

Ryan Seacrest was bit by a shark this weekend! Ha ha! The article is like three words long, so I think you won’t mind reading a good chunk of it:

The “American Idol” host said he was “about eight feet out” when he felt something swim by him.

“I thought it was a stick,” he said. “I wasn’t sure what had happened.”

Then, he said, “I saw it swim! He took a bite, and he left.”

Seacrest, 33, said the shark’s tooth “wasn’t a great thing to find. It was like finding a splinter!”

Although he said he was “in pain,” the “American Idol” host wasn’t hurt too badly, but said he “needed to take an Advil.”

So let’s get this straight: the shark just took a nibble, then swam away? All Seacrest needed to heal his shark bite was AN ADVIL?! I guess the shark wasn’t a fan of Seacrest’s other other white meat, which surely tastes like spray tanner and douchebaggery. Mmm.

Yeah, I don’t like Ryan Seacrest. I can’t say I hate him more than I hate seal-clapping, whiskey-in-her-water-cup Paula, but something about Ry guy drives me NUTS. I think it may be that he has one of those mouths which, when closed, looks like it’s hiding a set of hardcore braces. I can’t find a picture that really helps out my theory, but this one’s entertaining:

Oh, Ryan. Could you maybe stick to radio, so that we didn’t have to stare at that weird mouth of yours when we’re trying to get an American Idol fix? Maybe take Paula and your dawg Randy and just leave the show to Simon. He’s the only one worth listening to, anyway.

Although, come to think of it, I really do love to hate you.

[Posted by Mallory]

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