Tag Archives: ryan seacrest

the guy next door’s the winner!

I have a tendency to get emotionally invested in a competition very, very quickly. I can ask my dad who to root for in a college football game, and by the end I’m crying when the quarterback runs over to hug his mother. I can be watching Dancing With the Stars in French and by the end I’m giddy (and also probably crying) because the cute girl I liked won. I can also not see a single episode of American Idol but still, inexplicably, watch and care about the finale.  

I forced my poor friend Jill to watch the singing part of the finale with me two nights ago. (In my slight defense, she DVR-ed it so we fast-forwarded through the cheesy parts or any moment where Ryan Seacrest talked.) Now that Adam guy has a set of pipes, and I was totally impressed by him, despite the creeptastic trench coat and smoke. But Kris Allen won me over. It’s a well-publicized fact that my favorite genre of music is Boys Playing Guitars, and he fits the bill perfectly. He’s  just so earnest! And he plays instruments! And he has a cute wife! And anyone else think he sounds a lot like Adam Levine when he’s singing? He also gets an adorable smashed and crooked face when he sings — like John Mayer, but more endearing.

The point is, I teared up any time they showed Kris’s adorable family, then I realized that I would actually buy his CD (as long as “No Boundaries” isn’t on it, good GOD), so I was compelled to vote for him. That’s right, I totally texted in my vote. And he won! HOORAH!

I didn’t watch the results part of the finale, but this picture, courtesy of the NYT, is perfect:

kris allen

Here’s hoping he doesn’t get famous and starting banging random groupies.

[Posted by Mallory]


Filed under celebrities, crushes, definitely not politics, music, pop culture, TV

seacrest gets bit, takes advil, lives.

Ryan Seacrest was bit by a shark this weekend! Ha ha! The article is like three words long, so I think you won’t mind reading a good chunk of it:

The “American Idol” host said he was “about eight feet out” when he felt something swim by him.

“I thought it was a stick,” he said. “I wasn’t sure what had happened.”

Then, he said, “I saw it swim! He took a bite, and he left.”

Seacrest, 33, said the shark’s tooth “wasn’t a great thing to find. It was like finding a splinter!”

Although he said he was “in pain,” the “American Idol” host wasn’t hurt too badly, but said he “needed to take an Advil.”

So let’s get this straight: the shark just took a nibble, then swam away? All Seacrest needed to heal his shark bite was AN ADVIL?! I guess the shark wasn’t a fan of Seacrest’s other other white meat, which surely tastes like spray tanner and douchebaggery. Mmm.

Yeah, I don’t like Ryan Seacrest. I can’t say I hate him more than I hate seal-clapping, whiskey-in-her-water-cup Paula, but something about Ry guy drives me NUTS. I think it may be that he has one of those mouths which, when closed, looks like it’s hiding a set of hardcore braces. I can’t find a picture that really helps out my theory, but this one’s entertaining:

Oh, Ryan. Could you maybe stick to radio, so that we didn’t have to stare at that weird mouth of yours when we’re trying to get an American Idol fix? Maybe take Paula and your dawg Randy and just leave the show to Simon. He’s the only one worth listening to, anyway.

Although, come to think of it, I really do love to hate you.

[Posted by Mallory]

Leave a comment

Filed under animals, celebrities, music, pop culture